Let's hear your revenge fantisies?

[Twotoros]

Let's have some fun since most of us are on slack time.

Tell what you would like to do to some of our most
obnoxious customers ie;slow&nopayers,talkers,cheapstakes,dogpoop yard owners, or what have you.
No death scenerios please. You may include true cases of revenge if you wish.

This is a true revenge story from last season. An acct I purchased that was to cheap to start dumped me because they found someone cheaper. It was a C-store with lots of banners and junk to mow around. I swung in one day for a pop one time and seen the new mower guys with their worn out sears mowers just as I arrived and witnessed the owner paying this crud a ten dollar bill out of the till . Pretty good for two guys for a half hours work huh! Well the wheels started turning . The next saturday i got up at five a.m. and at six am. drove to this store in my unmarked suv with my fertilizer spreader and 3 20# sacks of ammonium sulfate. The store was open but no owners . I pulled up like I was supposed to be there unloaded my spreader and applied all the fertilizer to the 4k sq ft lawn.
Yes there was some burn but not much and I enjoyed watching this deep ,lush, dark green turf mowed for the next few weeks because the guys were usually there when I was heading home late Friday afternoons. Stopped once to enjoy the show.
The sad part here is that I don't feel bad for doing this nor embarassed for telling god knows how many people.

[awm]

I WONT TELL MINE IN
CASE I EVER GET MAD ENOUGH
TO DO IT. B ut I will say the
fantasy is like a homeowners horror movie.

[hortusa]

About 3 years ago I got this account that was decent from flyers. This account came because the people just moved into the house and I guess they didn't know about the landscaper that previously did the house. To make a long story short this landscaper had a good amount of accounts on the block,And was adement about getting it back. He under cut so bad that I know he is definetly losing money on it. I was pissed!!!!!!!!! So in the nursery they sell clover seed, I don't know who uses it but I went and bought alot of it. One nice night in the spring, my girlfriend and I decided to take a walk down this block and as we walked we droped this clover seed down on all of his accounts on this block a total of 9 or 10. Let me tell you this stuff is vicious!!!!!! I can only dream for my grass seed to work like that.To end he doesn't have many on this block anymore...

[jeffex]

I leave all revenge to the big man but,,,,,
I have thought about water balloons filled with
roundup for a few choice customers!!!

[awm]

Fellas I posted here and there is humor.
But this kind of thinking can be bad.
To any young fellas out there everybody
probably thinks it.To do the roundup
thing would I think be a cowardly act.
Be man enough to to look a mans eye
if hes crossed you or leave it alone.
This is not pointing fingers cause we
have all thought it.Somthing like that
could get out hand right quick.
Alright scrooge will shut up.

[Getmow]

Amen awm!!! Be a professional, be a MAN. Face to face is the best way to handle beefs with competetors and customers. You will gain respect from others and for yourself. If the outcome is still not what you wanted...move on, there is plenty of work around.

Remember what comes around goes around. Live the Golden Rule and you will be justly rewarded.

I will get off my soap box now.

[plymouthvaliant73]

I liked this one:

http://www.lawnsite.com/showthread.php?threadid=466

[bobbygedd]

i say fight "fire with fire". if a person is gonna treat me like garbage, then ill act like garbage. i wouldnt dare do the round up thing, or hurt anyone, but that clover seed sounds great, i think they sell dandilion seeds also. thanks for the idea, if im gonna weed up everyone who ever screwed me, id better get started now, ill be needing a whole truckload!oh, rats, just remembered, this only a fantasy.

[Twotoros]

I didn't start this thread to be a revenge101 coarse for new guys or anyone and I hope that is not what anyone does. This is meant to vent and amuse. Sorry if it offends . Some of us work in tough low pay economies and don't excel like our counterparts in better parts of the country. We work to be profesional only to be knocked down time and again . We compete against folk that pay no taxes. Fight our customers over a fifty cent raise . Not all of us are on top of the heap looking down. We are in the middle stuck in a community that is hard to excel in. We take crud from the bottom , the top and our own customers. And I for one like to have a little fun with the situation I am in and I think many others would too. I may be wrong.
So please don't actually nuke someone with round-up. Confront the problem . Get in their face and tell them what you think, growl if you have to or raise your voice.

[thelawnguy]

Well what I would like to do to my most obnoxious customer (and, not that I would really do it but hey its fun to think about it) pull up to the lawn, drop the deck down to, oh, say a 1/2 inch or so, proceed to scalp the heck out of the lawn making sure to blow plenty of clippings on the house, walks and white Mercedes, then just load up, knock on the door, tip my hat, and sy, "There! Now you have a legitimate beef. And just to show you where my heart is, no charge today!" Then drop the beer can I would be holding at her feet and walk away.

[BUSHMASTER]

I have yet to come a across a customer that made me lose it to the point i thought of revenge.....but i allways thought that if i got stuck on a sod job it would look preety embarrsing to the customer for the neibhors watching me pull it up and taking it off he he he..

[osc]

The most powerful thing that I have ever done to a horrible customer is turn and walk away and let them drown in their own ignorance.

[powerreel]

I pull up in the F-250 to the cul-de-sac. On the small hill overlooking the cul-de-sac is the house that won't pay the $2500 they owe for a lawn rene prune job. The F-250 is painted "earth tones" in wash away paint, I drop a couple smoke grenades so noone can see down the block and put the pedal to the medal!
Roaring full speed up the hill, through the landscape plantings, over the lawn, I drive into the swing set with their new baby in child swing, reverse back again to make sure there's no wounded. Toss out another smoke grenade, then smash through the back fence, just in time to interupt the family BBQ, ripping through the backyard the family is caught by suprise, another smoke grenade, the F-250 spins several 360* and crushes Uncle Fred as he yells,"Stop this non-sense!" A quick tour of the deck sends the picnic in a state of panic! Food, chairs, and the family dog are thrown aside of the mighty F-250. A quick reverse hits the support beam on their house and causes the roof to fall covering the F-250 in debris! As the family members stand in awe and wonder what has just happened another smoke grenade goes off and an antique MG.42 starts to rattle, cheapskates in peices go flyin', in the bed of the F-250 is my brother with a flamethrower, he starts to finish off the wounded and torches the house. The F-250 leaves the area just as the first smoke grenades die off, we pull into a car wash and head home. Moral of story: Pay your bills, collection is expensive!

[CCLC]

I've often contemplated dumping a huge bag of styrofoam peanuts in a lawn where I can't stand the company that mows it. A few years back a customer had a box of peanuts that blew all over the yard. It is no small task picking them up and if you try to mow them it is a popcorn treat!

I would never actually do this but I often wonder the mowing crews words when they would try to clean it up.

[VLM]

Powerreel, you have a gift for writing and a vivid imagination, but what I think you really need is a Psychotherapist or at least a collections agency. Did you get half up front?

[Rufur]

I cut everyother line for a few weeks it got pretty funny looking old guy couldnt see too well and always stood on his deck after awhile he finally had to question my overlapping skills I was kinda offended but I told him Id check over everything twice...he was probably wondering why I was out on his yard laughing to myself that day :)

[rdh]

powerreel
have you ever been on americas most wanted.lol

[geogunn]

I have lived the perfect revenge several times to date.

I have been fired and had my proposals rejected several times only to have the persons call me to come back or to take the job.

rejecting them is a great feeling. pride is a wonderful thing.

GEO

[KindGardener]

Since this only a fantasy - I suppose I can indulge...
For the woman who wanted everything trimmed by hand (hedges, shrubs), and NO blowers (kicked up dust onto her white windowsills), and only grudgingly paid $25 bucks per visit (till I charged her extra one time for trimming the 9'tall x 60' Eugenia hedge.....

I'd carefully sprinkle a mix of long-lasting fertilizer & maybe a little sulfate of ammonia onto the front lawn - in the area that is contoured so you can read it from the street... using cut-up cardboard to mask off unwanted areas, carefully spelling out my thoughts in 6 foot tall letters.... You've got the idea!

C H E A P

Then every time I drove past, I could enjoy the dark-lush fescue against the background of her light-green lawn.


(But in reality, when she complained & told me she was getting another gardener... I just gave him my concolences next time I ran into him!) Oh, and I replaced her with an acct that pays twice what she did.

[rdh]

hey that reminds me about a sihn a saw once,it was right in the middle of a entersection ,in great big yellow letters,
and it had a line go into the subdivesion, that looked like someone used a paint roller all the way to a front door
it said free pu**y it took for ever for that paint to wear off the road .the woman that lived ther may have just split up with a boy freind .or didnt pay the lawn guy.

[thelawnguy]

I read (or heard) somewhere about how, during a halftime show at an opposing schools football game, the band came on the field and formed the letters of the university. They also, while in formation, emptied their pockets of grass seed so that when the regular grass on the field went dormant the new grass that the band left spelled out the letters of the opposing team!