Stupid sayings by employees

[djlawn]

I just had one of my new employees tell me the other day that he noticed that "the trimming is only bad where the mower can't get". After I got done laughing at his him, I asked him if he seriously believed that. All I have to say is wow.

[The mayor]

When I was a machine shop supervisor I had a employee doing a lousy job. When I confronted him on his work he said "What's it going to matter 20 years from now." He was permently laid off.

[Redneckn]

Had a new field tech tell me the other day: I need a new engine. Both the rods are broke and it runs like crap.

This was on a garden tractor. I ask him if he is sure about what he is telling me. He says, yes. I put a screwdriver in the plug hole, the pistons would not move, then when i cranked it, it ran really crappy.

Currently, he is looking for a job.

[bobbygedd]

i was watching a football game one time, i forget what teams they were, but i'll just make up two for the sake of telling the story. the commentator said, " the only way the giants can beat the packers, is if they score more points than them." :dizzy: :dizzy: i looked at my wife, she was like, "what, what's wrong?" :dizzy:

[AL Inc]

Bob, was that John Madden? He always makes me laugh...he says things like "Here's a guy when he puts his contacts in, he can see better" LOL

[The Grass Amputator]

My little sister, who is mentally ******ed, has a favorite saying that we hear quite frequently: Well, I'll just have to believe it before I can see it.

This is the same sister who asked my dad to stop buying her Spanish Peanuts because "It takes too long to peel off these red paper shells."

[SproulsMowingService]

i was watching a football game one time, i forget what teams they were, but i'll just make up two for the sake of telling the story. the commentator said, " the only way the giants can beat the packers, is if they score more points than them." :dizzy: :dizzy: i looked at my wife, she was like, "what, what's wrong?" :dizzy:

I was reading in the paper the other day about (I believe) a basketball player commenting on his sister had become pregnant. He wasn't sure if he was going to be an uncle or an aunt.

[sheshovel]

I had asked a worker to fill in a hole with dirt one time,
He comes to me about 5 minutes later and says
"Would you come and look to see if I got it filled in yet?"

whats even worse...he dident!

[daveintoledo]

i was watching a football game one time, i forget what teams they were, but i'll just make up two for the sake of telling the story. the commentator said, " the only way the giants can beat the packers, is if they score more points than them." :dizzy: :dizzy: i looked at my wife, she was like, "what, what's wrong?" :dizzy:

had to be madden.... just had to be...
:p

[T Edwards]

During the spring a guy told a customer that the grass would start really growing soon because when daylight savings time kicked in, it would be getting an extra hour of sunlight every day.....

[redoak77]

I had a helper ask why he couldn't take off his (company) shirt while he was on the trimmer

[hole in one lco]

well i worked in a steel mill . The guy running the burning machine kept fing up parts. If you don't know a burning machine is operated by 6 joy stick run six torches . His excuse was alien came in at night and were fing with his joysticks he was a crack head and i have about 1000.0 story about him

[SodKing]

Had an employee who had his job for about 18 hours when he asked if he could borrow 2 grand....

[wojo23323]

Not an employee but a stupid saying on our visit to DC last week. My son and I are walking by the Vietnam Memorial and this couple was behind us. We were over 1/2 way thru and she turns to her husband and says " Oh! Is this the wall?" Me and my son look at each other and then at her and start laughing hard.

[olderthandirt]

I had an employee that I was suppose to be paid $8 an hr. I told him that if we finished a job early I would give him some extra for his effort. Well he busted his azz for 3 days and we did finish 2 days ahead of schedule. He had 30 hrs in at this point I looked him in the eye and said heres $500 for the hard work and he handed it back and said " you said you would pay me $8 an hr" I tried to explain that I was giving him twice that amount but he was adament that he wanted his $8 an hr as promised. :dizzy: :dizzy: :dizzy:

[James&Jameslco]

a few years ago when i was a mowing foreman for a landscaping company we had this guy who was running the trimmer ask us at lunch break how in hell we could push them lawn mowers all day.duh they were 48" toro w/b.

[SHOWCASE LAWNS LLC]

a few years ago when i was a mowing foreman for a landscaping company we had this guy who was running the trimmer ask us at lunch break how in hell we could push them lawn mowers all day.duh they were 48" toro w/b.

DID YOU TAKE HIS PULSE? GIVE HIM THE OLD FIELD SOBRIETY TEST MAYBE ? :rolleyes:

[SHOWCASE LAWNS LLC]

I just had one of my new employees tell me the other day that he noticed that "the trimming is only bad where the mower can't get". After I got done laughing at his him, I asked him if he seriously believed that. All I have to say is wow.

YOU LET THIS GUY RUN POWER EQUIPMENT ? IS HE A GOOD WORKER AND JUST SAYS DUMB SH*T OR IS HE REALLY THAT OUT THERE ?

[fixer67]

a few years ago when i was a mowing foreman for a landscaping company we had this guy who was running the trimmer ask us at lunch break how in hell we could push them lawn mowers all day.duh they were 48" toro w/b.

That reminds me of a customer who brought in his new S/P Snapper he had just bought (not from us). He said it would not pull. He started it up and pulled back the S/P handle and said "See, it will not pull". The back wheels were spinning and leaving a black mark on the shop floor. I felt like slapping him. :dizzy:
I reached over and got one of those big clothes pin type spring clamps and headed the mower out though the parking lot. I pulled back the handle and clamped it and let it go. He started chasing it out the door. I yelled at him "It seems to pull just find to me" :D

[djlawn]

YOU LET THIS GUY RUN POWER EQUIPMENT ? IS HE A GOOD WORKER AND JUST SAYS DUMB SH*T OR IS HE REALLY THAT OUT THERE ?

Yeah he just says some really stupid crap, but that took the cake. He is good with the equipment though. I guess that was almost as dumb a statement as after the london bombings one of the police chiefs said that the people that did the bombings where either dead or still at large. Well duh, here's your sign. What else could have happened to them.

[mowerman111]

Had a customer call me and was complaining that weeds weren't getting pulled in her flower beds, said she asked the crew leader about it and he told her he was color blind so he didn't know which ones were weeds.

[mith]

Yeah he just says some really stupid crap, but that took the cake. He is good with the equipment though. I guess that was almost as dumb a statement as after the london bombings one of the police chiefs said that the people that did the bombings where either dead or still at large. Well duh, here's your sign. What else could have happened to them.
Ummm, they got caught?
Actually most of them did.

[SHOWCASE LAWNS LLC]

[QUOTE=mowerman111]Had a customer call me and was complaining that weeds weren't getting pulled in her flower beds, said she asked the crew leader about it and he told her he was color blind so he didn't know which ones were weeds

OK SO AT A DISTANCE HOW DOES HE KNOW A TRAFFIC LIGHT IS GREEN RED OR YELLOW.?

PLAY A TRICK ON HIM. AT THE SHOP LEAVE 3 ROLLS OF DIFFERENT COLORED TAPE. ON YOUR DESK, BLUE RED AND GREEN LETS SAY. AS YOU WALK OUT OF THE ROOM ASK HIM TO TOSS YOU THE RED ONE. IF HE GETS IT RIGHT THEN IT MIGHT BE TIME FOR A CONTRUCTIVE TALK ABOUT CUSTOMER SERVICE .

[Dirty Water]

[QUOTE=mowerman111]Had a customer call me and was complaining that weeds weren't getting pulled in her flower beds, said she asked the crew leader about it and he told her he was color blind so he didn't know which ones were weeds

OK SO AT A DISTANCE HOW DOES HE KNOW A TRAFFIC LIGHT IS GREEN RED OR YELLOW.?

PLAY A TRICK ON HIM. AT THE SHOP LEAVE 3 ROLLS OF DIFFERENT COLORED TAPE. ON YOUR DESK, BLUE RED AND GREEN LETS SAY. AS YOU WALK OUT OF THE ROOM ASK HIM TO TOSS YOU THE RED ONE. IF HE GETS IT RIGHT THEN IT MIGHT BE TIME FOR A CONTRUCTIVE TALK ABOUT CUSTOMER SERVICE .


Some people only have trouble with 1 or two colors.

[buffalo bill]

We did a backyard fieldstone wall with trees shrubs and mulch last year
in the 3rd week of july. She calls November 15 and says " I have been in Ireland for almost 3 months. When I left the job you did looked absolutely beautiful. I come back and its full of leaves and twigs. What's up with
that? We politely say "Maam, it's FALL, you know Autumn? She says
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize.

[MarcSmith]

[QUOTE=mowerman111]Had a customer call me and was complaining that weeds weren't getting pulled in her flower beds, said she asked the crew leader about it and he told her he was color blind so he didn't know which ones were weeds

OK SO AT A DISTANCE HOW DOES HE KNOW A TRAFFIC LIGHT IS GREEN RED OR YELLOW.?

PLAY A TRICK ON HIM. AT THE SHOP LEAVE 3 ROLLS OF DIFFERENT COLORED TAPE. ON YOUR DESK, BLUE RED AND GREEN LETS SAY. AS YOU WALK OUT OF THE ROOM ASK HIM TO TOSS YOU THE RED ONE. IF HE GETS IT RIGHT THEN IT MIGHT BE TIME FOR A CONTRUCTIVE TALK ABOUT CUSTOMER SERVICE .


It is a widely known fact the RED lights are at the TOP or left of the light and Green is at a the bottom or right depeneding on how the light is hung...That fact is taught in Drivers ed for those who are color blind so they can still drive...

Last time I checked most weeds were still green...:) same color as most plants...