View Full Version : New concept for me (in development)
03-27-2006, 03:59 PM
Ok, how does this look, i put this together last night and this afternoon, Please comment on it, give ideas or tell me corrections that need to be made, i want to put these out on wednesday so don't be shy, tell me what you think of it, i only used three big services as those three are the biggest ones around here and the main ones i want to get, thanks
03-27-2006, 08:23 PM
bump it up! common guys, i need outside opinion on this
03-27-2006, 08:39 PM
Pretty wordy for a flyer IMO. A flyer should, again, IMO be attention grabbing and get the point across quickly. I would pare down the verbage.
03-27-2006, 08:44 PM
It's not too bad, but a couple of things I saw right off the top were: above the lawn mtc. section there's no title to show what that paragraph is about like you have for the other two services; some of the grammar needs work-the two things I noticed right off were "its" instead of "it's" and at the end of the bark mulch paragraph there's an incomplete sentence "Saving you money on costly....." maybe you could try a comma instead of a period before that part of the sentence. The other thing that kind of rubs me wrong me wrong is the font. Maybe you could try one that's more catchy. The times new roman or whatever it's called always looks like you used a typewriter, at least that's my impression. Again, overall it's good, but those are some of the ideas I cam up with, Good Luck
03-27-2006, 10:05 PM
Thank you for those corrections MStine, i have an idea on how to get rid of the wordyness but still keep all that info. ill post it up later. thanks again
03-27-2006, 10:23 PM
I didnt really read the other persons comment, but remove your company's name and number from the top. You need something attention grabbing for the title. Put your name and number at the bottom with an offer that will make them call. Like call by april 1st and get your third mowing free.
03-27-2006, 10:32 PM
IMO I think it is a ton to read while on the way to the trash. I am about to dump a ton on advertising and the one thing I learned is that most of it will be thrown away immediatley so you have a very short time to get their attention. I might hand this out to someone that has me over to do an estimate. If they say they will get back with me I would hand it off to them as something to read over to let them know you know what you are doing.
03-28-2006, 08:53 AM
You might want to list your services down the left side of the sheet with basically bullet points on what each service will RESULT in for the customer i.e. what's in it for them, not the technical jargon. I know that's about what you have, but it may help remove the wordiness. Aeration, helps your lawn become greener and healthier by allowing water to reach the root zone. Weekly maintenance services, we'll make your lawn stand out from your neighbor's lawns by edging, striping the lawn, and we clean up when we're done. Like the other guys said, put something at the top that'll get their attention. The word FREE always helps, Marc
03-28-2006, 11:02 AM
MStine, i agree, what im going to do is mass distribute a more traditional flyer and then use a revised edition of descriptive one to give to people that are possibly interested in services, i am going to use your bulleting suggestion on it to clean it up, thanks!
03-28-2006, 12:55 PM
Way to much info for a flyer. Start a website and put all that stuff there.
03-28-2006, 01:12 PM
Very poor wording on a flyer that has too much to read. I would scrap it and start again. As a perspective customer, after reading how some of the stuff was worded, I would file it. Sorry,..I'm just being straight up with you to help.
03-28-2006, 02:10 PM
like i said, ive ditched it, and went with a more traditional design that ill be distributing tomarrow. This is the more trational one that ill be using, just have to change a few things on it and will post up the final one in about an hour when i get home from school......english class in the library rocks!!!
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