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Miss You Son
04-16-2006, 10:37 AM
I am sure that this is an unusual request. However, I lost my only Son who was also my partner in our Lawn Business. I had been a member of this site for quite some time as Father & Son and he was Son & Father.

I would like to do some special landscaping at my son's grave site. I cannot find any examples any where. I am allowed to do whatever I wish at the cemetery. We have a beautiful headstone for him and now want to do a border, flowers, etc.

Any ideas you may have would be greatly appreciated. He was my world, my Best Friend. The day after he died, I closed the business as I could no longer to the lawns without him being there.

Thank you in advance for any assistance you can give.

Don Sr.

NEPSJay
04-16-2006, 12:27 PM
I dont have an intelligent answer for landscaping ideas, however, im very sorry for your loss. deepest condolences and prayers to you and your family.

richallseasons
04-16-2006, 01:25 PM
I am truly sorry for your loss,this must be a difficult time for you and your family.Did your son have any favorite plants or flowers that you could use to create a beautiful memorial? Look into your heart and he will tell you what you need to do.

impactlandscaping
04-16-2006, 10:59 PM
Don, check with the cemetary's caretaker for guidelines as to what can be planted, or how much can be planted. Something to keep in mind is most(not all, but MOST) cemeteries use cheap labor/low bidder labor, and flowers and memorial items are at the bottom of their list when blowing through. We planted flowers and some groundcover on our daughter's grave, and the guys came thru and mowed everything off. My step dad put a small plastic edging fence around everything to keep them away from the flowers, but they cut the plastic to pieces.I'm not going to tolerate it this year. It's a small, rural cemetary, and things like this shouldn't happen regularly. Sorry for the loss of your son,I remember reading posts of yours a few years back. Time heals all wounds(to a degree of bearibility).Welcome back to Lawnsite.:waving:

Miss You Son
04-25-2006, 10:33 AM
I appreciate all your kind words in reference to the loss of my Son, My Best Friend. We are fortunate to have a very caring cemetary. We are allowed to do as we wish with his plot.

I am really looking for some ideas on what kind of stone or block to use to put around the grave and headstone in order to put down mulch and plants etc.

I sure miss coming to this site almost as much as I miss mowing with my Son. I gave the business away the day after he passed away. Just could not go back to those lawns with all the memories. I still stop in and read your posts though.

Don Sr.

LindblomRJ
04-25-2006, 09:42 PM
I am been setting grave stones for the last 5 years. There are concrete planter boxes that you have his name engraved. Filled with flowers and usually set on the pad or in front of marker. There are also granite vases that look sharp with flowes planted. They (those who sold the headstone) should be able to match the granite for the vase.

I have seen timbers placed around the grave and rock inside the grave with flowers added.

When I set the stone I consider the ground where I am standing as sacred. I admire you strengh.

grassmasterdawn
04-27-2006, 11:44 PM
I would check with local granite memorial or even countertop + flooring fabricators to see if they have any stone that might match the color of your son's headstone. A smaller shop that doesn't have an insane workload may be able to shape the pieces into something that would make a nice border. I've seen some granite borders that are pieces that are about 3"x3" (I'm not sure about the lengths they come in), but I think that something thinner might be nice and unique if shaped and polished.

There is a website for a place that does the most incredible headstones and even though you said you already have a headstone, they may be able to do something like a custom border, perhaps something with a landscaping or lawn theme. Their address is: http://www.westmemorials.com/default.asp

Some graves have small granite or concrete benches next to them, which I think is really nice.

I've seen so many things at the cemetery and not knowing him, it's very hard to say what would best suit your son. It is such a personal thing, but whatever you choose, you want to look at what best represented his life and the things he liked.

On a side note, I do feel for your loss. My son passed away when he was very young. I felt like I was robbed of the chance to see what he would do with his life. Difficult wasn't even the word to describe it. I felt as if my soul had died and my body was just existing. It took several years for me to feel close to "normal" again. But one day I did, because I realized that my son loved me and wouldn't want me to do what I did - which was basically die with him.

I do hope that some day when the pain is lessened a little bit (trust me, I know right now it seems that day will NEVER come, but it will, very slowly and your thoughts of him will bring you smiles again because you will grow to become thankful for all the time you did have together - the tears for time you didn't have, will fade away), you may consider getting back into the business.

I wish you well.

Miss You Son
04-29-2006, 10:36 AM
Grassmaster, thank you so much for such wonderful ideas I never thought of.
I am so sorry that you lost your son also. I know exactly what you mean as when I found Donny, I too died with him.

I am so grateful for all the things we did together, we were with each other almost every day even though he was 30. Patriot football games each year for 13 years, season tickets. 5 hour ride each way. He would take me to NASCAR races all over the country, so many GREAT times that I miss every minute of the day.

Your message not only has given me some great ideas about his gravesite, but some hope that someday this horrible pain will ease. Not sure about mowing again though. I kept Donny's 62" Scag and got rid of mine as I could not part with his. However, whenever I cut our lawn with it, it hurts not seeing him on it.

Thank You again so very much,

Don Sr.