SprinklerGuy
04-21-2006, 08:02 AM
Dear Mr. Hole Saw/Spade Bit Operator/Irrigator:
I know that you LOVE your spade bits, I love mine as well, in fact there is nothing that satisfies me more than driving an 1 1/2 spade bit through the decking on my house to install the hot tub conduit. I know how you feel.
However, I have a real problem. You see, those beautiful 1 inch holes you keep drilling in the valve boxes for all the pipes to go out of.....are really starting to piss me off. Understand that I agree that it looks beautiful when you are done and that box is sitting on the bench....and you and the wife/gf and kids are admiring it as it sits there in the warm glow of the flourescent light fixture at midnite....taking pictures to show your buddies back home....it is a beautiful Rube I agree....but it is still pissing me off.
Keep in mind that some day...yes some day even YOUR technically advanced modular valve box SYSTEM will break. Listen, I know you don't believe it....and I'm sure you used primer and tightened the threads just the right amount....but that manifold is going to fail. It may be that the homeowner didn't respect your 8th wonder of the world and failed to winterize...it also may be that the new homeowner didn't realize what a beauty it was when he drove his car over it...but it will fail, perhaps through no fault of your own. And that is when I am really pissed.
You see, I'm your local irrigation repair technician. I don't have near the eye for beauty that you do, therefore my manifolds go UNDER the valve box, heck sometimes I even use my folding corona pruning saw or my cordless sawzall to hack part of the box up to make this happen. But I have never for the life of me cut a friggin round hole in the box for ALL THE PIPES to exit through. Do you know why? Because when they fail...it is impossible to dig this box up and pull it out of the ground without getting pissed.
Please....I beg you to use your artistic skills in another area of your life. Or if you absolutely have to use power tools....buy a sawzall and cut the box so that the holes are more like slots.....and the box will lift off gently after a bit of persuasion...to allow your friendly, pissed, irrigation technician access to the dirt around the valves....access to remove one valve from the threaded adapter, without cutting the downstream side of the valve....and fix the problem...without creating a 4 hour ordeal that doesn't benefit anybody but the bank.
Sincerily,
Tony Neumann
CrankySprinklerGuy
I know that you LOVE your spade bits, I love mine as well, in fact there is nothing that satisfies me more than driving an 1 1/2 spade bit through the decking on my house to install the hot tub conduit. I know how you feel.
However, I have a real problem. You see, those beautiful 1 inch holes you keep drilling in the valve boxes for all the pipes to go out of.....are really starting to piss me off. Understand that I agree that it looks beautiful when you are done and that box is sitting on the bench....and you and the wife/gf and kids are admiring it as it sits there in the warm glow of the flourescent light fixture at midnite....taking pictures to show your buddies back home....it is a beautiful Rube I agree....but it is still pissing me off.
Keep in mind that some day...yes some day even YOUR technically advanced modular valve box SYSTEM will break. Listen, I know you don't believe it....and I'm sure you used primer and tightened the threads just the right amount....but that manifold is going to fail. It may be that the homeowner didn't respect your 8th wonder of the world and failed to winterize...it also may be that the new homeowner didn't realize what a beauty it was when he drove his car over it...but it will fail, perhaps through no fault of your own. And that is when I am really pissed.
You see, I'm your local irrigation repair technician. I don't have near the eye for beauty that you do, therefore my manifolds go UNDER the valve box, heck sometimes I even use my folding corona pruning saw or my cordless sawzall to hack part of the box up to make this happen. But I have never for the life of me cut a friggin round hole in the box for ALL THE PIPES to exit through. Do you know why? Because when they fail...it is impossible to dig this box up and pull it out of the ground without getting pissed.
Please....I beg you to use your artistic skills in another area of your life. Or if you absolutely have to use power tools....buy a sawzall and cut the box so that the holes are more like slots.....and the box will lift off gently after a bit of persuasion...to allow your friendly, pissed, irrigation technician access to the dirt around the valves....access to remove one valve from the threaded adapter, without cutting the downstream side of the valve....and fix the problem...without creating a 4 hour ordeal that doesn't benefit anybody but the bank.
Sincerily,
Tony Neumann
CrankySprinklerGuy