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View Full Version : Open Letter to all skilled hole saw operators


SprinklerGuy
04-21-2006, 09:02 AM
Dear Mr. Hole Saw/Spade Bit Operator/Irrigator:

I know that you LOVE your spade bits, I love mine as well, in fact there is nothing that satisfies me more than driving an 1 1/2 spade bit through the decking on my house to install the hot tub conduit. I know how you feel.

However, I have a real problem. You see, those beautiful 1 inch holes you keep drilling in the valve boxes for all the pipes to go out of.....are really starting to piss me off. Understand that I agree that it looks beautiful when you are done and that box is sitting on the bench....and you and the wife/gf and kids are admiring it as it sits there in the warm glow of the flourescent light fixture at midnite....taking pictures to show your buddies back home....it is a beautiful Rube I agree....but it is still pissing me off.

Keep in mind that some day...yes some day even YOUR technically advanced modular valve box SYSTEM will break. Listen, I know you don't believe it....and I'm sure you used primer and tightened the threads just the right amount....but that manifold is going to fail. It may be that the homeowner didn't respect your 8th wonder of the world and failed to winterize...it also may be that the new homeowner didn't realize what a beauty it was when he drove his car over it...but it will fail, perhaps through no fault of your own. And that is when I am really pissed.

You see, I'm your local irrigation repair technician. I don't have near the eye for beauty that you do, therefore my manifolds go UNDER the valve box, heck sometimes I even use my folding corona pruning saw or my cordless sawzall to hack part of the box up to make this happen. But I have never for the life of me cut a friggin round hole in the box for ALL THE PIPES to exit through. Do you know why? Because when they fail...it is impossible to dig this box up and pull it out of the ground without getting pissed.

Please....I beg you to use your artistic skills in another area of your life. Or if you absolutely have to use power tools....buy a sawzall and cut the box so that the holes are more like slots.....and the box will lift off gently after a bit of persuasion...to allow your friendly, pissed, irrigation technician access to the dirt around the valves....access to remove one valve from the threaded adapter, without cutting the downstream side of the valve....and fix the problem...without creating a 4 hour ordeal that doesn't benefit anybody but the bank.

Sincerily,

Tony Neumann
CrankySprinklerGuy

DanaMac
04-21-2006, 09:05 AM
:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

Three cheers for SprinklerGuy!! Loved it. My thoughts exactly. Same goes for drilling to have the wires run into the box. Not as bad, but still a PITA.

Wet_Boots
04-21-2006, 09:14 AM
People actually do that sort of thing? That's scary. By the way, does anyone still make 'modular' valve boxes anymore? I think they had a removable end piece(s) so one could join two (or maybe) more boxes together, in order to get proper repair access to a line of valves too long for a regular valve box. Rainbird might have sold them.

PurpHaze
04-21-2006, 09:17 AM
And to think I run into this sometimes from so-called irrigation expert contractors also. :hammerhead:

Oh... and while we're at it you can take your pea gravel and 2x4 chunks of wood and put them where the hole saw don't shine. :laugh:

SprinklerGuy
04-21-2006, 09:19 AM
Or your giant bricks all over the friggin place....

And if you are going to leave a goshdarn beer can in the hole, please leave some ice with it, and don't drink it first!

I was so pissed after my SECOND ONE OF THESE IN THE SAME DAY that I forgot to take pictures...but I will take them on the next one.

DanaMac
04-21-2006, 09:24 AM
Hey Tony, the one you told me about with the mainline yesterday, just change it to poly, and leave above ground. Tell him to bury the POS. I've told many people I don't have time to bury the rebuilt manifold, mainline, 20 heads that needed replacing, etc. just so that I can keep moving to me next appointment.

I look at it this way. I can spend 4 hours fixing one system to make one person happy, and make 4 unhappy. Or I can make 4 happy by getting to them when agreed upon, and pissoff one by telling him too bad.

SprinklerGuy
04-21-2006, 09:30 AM
Actually...I am looking to the future.....I have rescheduled that POS for 2 weeks from now or sooner if possible....that way I can take my time. If he cancels, I have his $75 service call in my pocked already and I won't have to deal with it.

I have a 9 valver on galvanized to do next week....should be fun times...I am going to take pictures of that bad boy....I told her it would be at least a grand...I actually like doing manifolds when I have the time to relax and enjoy the little cuts I get on my hands and stuff.

I got my new 2006 tube/bottle of Corn Husker Lotion yesterday and my hands are feeling better already!

paolaken
04-21-2006, 09:58 AM
agree:clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: heres toya:drinkup:

Dirty Water
04-21-2006, 11:41 AM
AZ Gardner does this....

jcom
04-23-2006, 09:41 AM
This is the first I have ever heard of anything like that. What a stupid ridiculous idea!

Dirty Water
04-23-2006, 12:49 PM
This is the first I have ever heard of anything like that. What a stupid ridiculous idea!


I've ran into it a few times, I usually masacre the valve box with a sawzaw rather than cutting out the pipe.