OK...Let's hear your personal "murphy's law"..

[crazycritterguy]

Mine, for example, is that I will never, EVER use or need a particular tool/item/thing... unless I have just .......
1) put it away where it belongs
2) moved something heavy blocking access to it...or
3) let someone borrow it

Lets hear yours!

[Olylawnboy]

How could you add to that :)

[upidstay]

The wind will be perfectly still on a hot, indian summer day. Until you go to lay down a tarp...

[upidstay]

The wind will consistently be blowing from the west...until you start to blow leaves in that direction, then it will change 180 degrees...

[sanfordandsonfan]

I work in areas with very tight parking. On occassion, we have to block a driveway just to find a spot to park. As soon as we start mowing, the homeowner comes home and wants to pull in. Never fails.

[LindblomRJ]

Murphy is an optimist.

[lawnwizards]

just when you finally get a raggedy ass yard looking decent, you find someone else butchering it with a 21" murray for 5 dollars cheaper.:angry:

[Itsgottobegreen]

The bigger the back yard, the smaller the gate.

The heavier the item the further you have to move it from the truck.

[StBalor]

Your employee shows up regularly. till the day you need him the most.

[topsites]

Machines never break except while in operation, thus in the field. As an illustrative example, a mower nevers break down while on the trailer, but always after you've unloaded it.

If something breaks that requires two people to fix, you are by yourself.

The possibility of something delaying you increases in direct proportion to how busy you are.

Traffic lights know when you are in a hurry and work against you.

If you're having the time of your life, remember to look sad and depressed or someone will come up to ruin your day.

This one's my personal favorite:
Customers never want anything done when you're slow, deciding instead to save it all for when you're busy.

p.s.: I liked the one about the wind and the leaves, it is very true.

[Lazer_Z]

The bigger the back yard, the smaller the gate.

The heavier the item the further you have to move it from the truck.
You can say that again

Rob

[sheshovel]

Just when you need it in the worst way..nobody will have it.
When your in a hurry..all the 90 year old ladies hit the road
Ya always gotta pee as soon as you get on the job not before or after
If you can trip on it you will,if you can break it while working on it..you will
If you think you may need more..you will.
If you look at it and think it will just take a couple hours..it's gonna take you twice as long
It's always smaller than he claims it to be

[HOOLIE]

If you take the day off when it's 75 degrees and sunny, Mother Nature will punish you with 4 days of rain the following week...

[topsites]

If you take the day off when it's 75 degrees and sunny, Mother Nature will punish you with 4 days of rain the following week...

LOL and if you take the day off because rain was in the forecast with a 90 percent chance of heavy showers and there was deep marks of stuff on the radar covering three whole states all of it right about a state away and coming your direction. So you sleep in because for sure it will rain, by the time you wake up it is sunny and you look outside and the sky is blue without a cloud in the sky! So then you look at the forecast again and it's right there off the edge of your town so Oh well it just hasn't got here yet but in an hour or two at the most for sure so you zzzz off some more, and still no rain and nice a day as can be.
Funny enough, the phone doesn't ring all day and you were going to feel bad but since nobody is on your case, well let's go wash the car and you feel kinda dumb but hey tomorrow's another day right?
Please re-read your quote at this point :laugh:

[mike lane lawn care]

when you need it most, it won't be there
when you break your spare belt, the dealer say's it's backordered

you have a million of everything, except the right size.

[mike lane lawn care]

and..
you get a flat on your truck, when you're already using your spare.

[stuie]

I killed Murphy.........We never really got on anyway..........

[Frontstreetlawns]

when your weedeating 4 foot tall grass you always get a direct hit on the only pile of dog sh*t

[Brendan Smith]

when any neighborhood animal dies, it will crawl to the overgrown, far corner of the yard where you can smell it but not see it.

when groceries are almost gone and it is 3 days till payday, the in-laws will come over for dinner.

when you let your kids play with the neighbor kids, the neighbors will automatically think you are a day-care center.

when you have a profitable day, all of your bills will show up the same day.

when your kids "have to do such and such" and all the supplies are purchased, they will suddenly lose all interest in it.

you will not catch any fish on the day you bought extra bait in anticipation.

you will at some point paddle your boat back to the dock, but only if there is a head wind.

the day you forget your cell phone will be the day your prospective 10k maintenance account calls and needs you to call back asap.

the hot chick you dated for 10 years will gain pounds like china gaining manufacturing jobs as soon as you marry her.

your used "well maintained" mower will self destruct as you are pulling it off of the trailer after bringing it home.

nothing is as it seems unless it is bad, in which case it's worse.

your vehicle will be trouble free until approximately 1 week after the warranty expires.

if you pay extra for overnight delivery of a part, it will still not arrive in time.

customers won't pita you to death unless you already give them a good deal.

the glass is half full unless you are really thirsty, in which case there is only backwash.

karma works, but only for bad stuff.

you check your engine oil religously, but the day you are in a hurry, it has suddenly leaked all 5 quarts out.

you will only be hungover on days you have to go to work early.

your rifle scope will never lose it's zero until a record book buck walks out, then it automatically shoots 2 feet low and 10" to the right at 50 yards.

the 4wd system in your truck will function perfectly until you REALLY need it.

the too-good-to-be-true girl you hit on all night in the bar and talked into coming home with you turns out to be a MAN BABY!!!

when you need rain, you get too much. when you need it to stop, it is dry for the next six months.

if you only like 2 shows on tv, they will immediately be cancelled.

when a fishing lure works, buy 20 because you'll never find it again.

fish only bite when you're not around.

when travelling, no matter which mode of public transportation you choose, you will always be stuck next to the biggest, stinkiest person on the trip. and the kids behind you will kick the back of you seat the entire time. and their mother won't stop them. for hours.

whenever something is guaranteed, it doesn't apply to you. just other people.

all things being equal, you will always get the short end of the stick.

all things not being equal, you will get the short end of the stick.

the phone call you have been waiting on all day will not come until you are going to be in the bathroom for a while.

when you eat your friend's "special chilli" and go hunting the next morning, you will have forgotten your toilet paper, but only if you can't wait.

if you think you are close to your limit and the game warden is coming, you will be one fish over.

if you make camp on low ground, floods will come that night.

if you make your camp on the peak of the highest ground, lightning stoms will come that night.

if you dress for foul weather on a 2 day or longer camping trip, it will be uncharacteristically warm.

if you dress for nice weather on a 2 day or longer camping trip, it will be uncharacteristically cold.

the day you forget to bring the extra plug for the boat is also the day you lose the first one.

if you are more than 20 miles off-shore in a 28' boat on a flat day, it won't be for long.

if you need a survival suit, you're already screwed.

expenses won't increase until you stretch yourself thin.

all of these except the survival suit and girl at bar have happened to me. but, i'm not dead, so it's ok. :drinkup: :drinkup: :drinkup: :drinkup:

[MarcSmith]

No matter how many times you walk around the back of your truck, your shin will always connect with the 2" reciever and ball sticking out. This is guaranteed to happen if you are caryying groceries, other wise have your hands full or talking on the phone.

When equipment breaks down or uns out of gas, it will be either as far away from the truck as you can get, or at the lowest point of the property. Both if its 4 oclock on friday and starting to rain.

The day you send the late notice, is the day the check arrives and two days later your customer is calling yelling WTF....

[BSDeality]

there is one bolt on any piece of machinery that will not budge loose bringing the entire repair to a grinding halt. It happens _all_ the damn time with both my father and I

[MarcSmith]

there is one bolt on any piece of machinery that will not budge loose bringing the entire repair to a grinding halt. It happens _all_ the damn time with both my father and I

Or the one nut that drops under the bench that you can't find will stay lost, until after you have looked through your 5lb jar of misc nuts, realized that you dont have that size, and end up driving 5 miles, for a $.50 nut. Then, and onlythen, will the missing nut be found with you not even looking for it...

[Brendan Smith]

Or the one nut that drops under the bench that you can't find will stay lost, until after you have looked through your 5lb jar of misc nuts, realized that you dont have that size, and end up driving 5 miles, for a $.50 nut. Then, and onlythen, will the missing nut be found with you not even looking for it...
you work in my shop too??? how come we've never met?

[MarcSmith]

you work in my shop too??? how come we've never met?

I'm the fly on wall...I'm sure you've swatted at me a few times...

[Brendan Smith]

I'm the fly on wall...I'm sure you've swatted at me a few times...
nah, live and let live...as long as you don't play kick-ball in my coleslaw with your friends:)

[ClayMcC]

Not quite sure how to write a Murphy, but the following two events actually happened to me:

1. Using a weedeater every day yet debris hardly ever smacks my face... but when I accidentally weedeat an unseen pile of dog feces... the crap flies into my open mouth!

2. I cut a customers yard all last summer without ever once meeting her because she was never home. During the off season she got married. Last week, after finishing her yard, I prepared the invoice as usual and took it to the front door. Someone inside the house saw me and came out to give me a check. We started a friendly chit-chat. They tell me that I do a good job, and I replied with, "Thank you, sir." We continue talking and I'm responding with "Yes, sir," and "No, sir." Finally, the person hands me the check. I say, "Thank you very much, sir," and turned to walk to my truck. I then noticed a man standing in the yard who extends his hand and introduces me as "Mr. {the new husband}".... IT TURNS OUT THAT I WAS SAYING 'YES SIR,' AND 'NO SIR,' AND 'THANK YOU, SIR'... TO HER!

[topsites]

With rain, first you go through a period of drought which lasts until you are so broke you are very seriously thinking of quitting this stupid job and then it doesn't rain for another month or two on top of that.

All during this time customers continuously request services that require lots of rain, such as core aeration.

Finally, it rains once and then it's dry for another month.
You get 4 or 6 of those aeration jobs done before the soil dries up again and you feel bad about the rest.

After that, it starts to rain very frequently for at least 3 months solid, it rains at least 3 days out of the week and everything is so saturated with water that no matter where you step, your feet constantly make squishing noises and you can not imagine dealing with getting the mower stuck in the mud even one more time, and of course you're so far behind that you'll never get caught up.

Now your customers are requesting jobs that are so much harder when it's wet, like mulch or topsoil, maybe grading.
At the same rate, weeds sprout everywhere and we all know you can only do effective weed control so long there is NO rain for 48 hours after application, hence your customers complain constantly about the abundance of weeds.
Matter of fact, weeds are growing faster than you can mix round-up.
Aeration? Oh yeah, it's the wrong time of year for that now, just to make sure you can't do it.

[CAG]

thats funny $hit i needed a good laugh.. the sir thing reminds me of pat from saturday night live
Not quite sure how to write a Murphy, but the following two events actually happened to me:

1. Using a weedeater every day yet debris hardly ever smacks my face... but when I accidentally weedeat an unseen pile of dog feces... the crap flies into my open mouth!

2. I cut a customers yard all last summer without ever once meeting her because she was never home. During the off season she got married. Last week, after finishing her yard, I prepared the invoice as usual and took it to the front door. Someone inside the house saw me and came out to give me a check. We started a friendly chit-chat. They tell me that I do a good job, and I replied with, "Thank you, sir." We continue talking and I'm responding with "Yes, sir," and "No, sir." Finally, the person hands me the check. I say, "Thank you very much, sir," and turned to walk to my truck. I then noticed a man standing in the yard who extends his hand and introduces me as "Mr. {the new husband}".... IT TURNS OUT THAT I WAS SAYING 'YES SIR,' AND 'NO SIR,' AND 'THANK YOU, SIR'... TO HER!

[ClayMcC]

thats funny $hit i needed a good laugh.. the sir thing reminds me of pat from saturday night live

Thanks, CAG. When I read your reply, I started laughing. I guess it's true that laughing is infectious! :laughing:

As for the "sir" thing... it reminds me of the classic TV episode of, "WKRP in Cincinatti". In it, WKRP (a radio station) comes up with a holiday promotion to advertise the station. They hire a helicopter to "let go" of live turkeys over the city skyline during Thanksgiving. Well, much to the horror of all the parents and children who show up to watch... when the helicopter let's go of the turkeys... they all fall to the Earth like lead balloons, splattering all over the concrete! Panic in the streets then erupts as spectators run screaming for their lives to avoid being killed by falling turkey!
Later, back at WKRP, the character credited with the idea to drop the living birds over Cincinnati, utters one of the greatest lines of dialog ever... he says: "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

Believe me, CAG! AS God is my witness, I thought she was a MAN!

[TURFLORD]

If I plant seed I always worry until I see it germinate, but damned if it doesn't always grow in the cracks of the sidewalk and the cab of the truck!

[K.Carothers]

When its taking to long for a site to pop up, you go to hit the refresh. The same time you hit the refresh, the site popped up.

When your running late, you always get stuck behind the slow drivers.

Last bolt, blade, shrub to be planted and anything else that is last is the one that gives you the hardest time.

When in a rush, you stop at the local convenient store and get stuck behind the lottery players.

You find a extra $100 in your checking account you forgot to add in and the same day a unexpected bill arrives for $200.

Its late, your hungry and throw on the craziest looking clothes to run into the convenient store and you run into the women you would like to ask out.

The store has just sold out what you wanted.

As soon as you fix something in your house, 2 other things break down.

You have a box full of batteries except the one you need.


kc