My Improved Flyer.....

[GreenClips]

ok so here is my new and improved flyer i added a logo and some other things so tell me what you think and thanks for all those who have helped me out this web site is a huge help!...thanks again...

[clallen03]

I dont think it looks bad at all.

I would change raking to leaf removal. I think you will have enough space to add this without it effecting the logo. I also like the fine print too. Thats on alot of the big chain coupon.

Overall I think you've done fine.

[fiveoboy01]

Not bad.

I think the top part in black print is too "wordy". Simplify it a little.

[echeandia]

Never use "etc".

[Grn Mtn]

People could care less about your intro paragraph, drop it. Move your coupon to the top and make it bigger. Don't bother listing your services because you don't have any-- not trying to sound mean, just that everyone mow trims and blows, and customers just assume you can do other stuff.

Do the leaf clean-up as another flyer in the fall with a coupon again.

Keep It Simple,
1: Coupon
2: Name
3: Phone #

[GreenClips]

ok so you think i should get rid of the etc. what should i put there instead?...i was thinking at first maybe like: tired of having to do the things you dont want to do, do you want to spend more quality time with your family, or something YOU want to do? why not start with leaving your lawn to us!....so what do you think about that?...

[d&rlawncare]

Get rid of the words in Black. Replace those by moving your logo up top and centered. Center the words in green. Center coupon and make a little bigger. Leave the bottom 1/3 as is.


JMO's

[GreenClips]

thanks for the opinion but i had a flyer like that and there were a lot of people telling me not to have my header as my name to have a paragraph or a catchy fraze and so far i have had the best responses with this one the way it is but with a few minor details so thanks for the thought but im not sure i will use it...but thanks anyway's

[echeandia]

...i had a flyer like that and there were a lot of people telling me not to have my header as my name to have a paragraph or a catchy fraze ...

You are correct on this.

You have several shades of green some of which are not complementary. Make sure the green colors work together or just pick one and go with it.

[Grn Mtn]

this is what I ment using what you had, just making it to the point and cheaper to do as you get 2 to every page.

[STONE SCAPES]

I like it a lot. I like the paragraph at the top. Remember the misses of the might be thinking same thing.:clapping:

[RonB]

If you keep the wording that's at the top - you're asking a question so add the mark ? And maybe instead of etc you could just use this ....

But I do like the redid one that was posted, it's to the point. Maybe shorten your wording and put it under the coupon.

[GreenClips]

yeah i shortened up the wording at the top and put in some ?'s and i took out the etc. and fixed a couple of other things...

[ed2hess]

I don't like the asking question thing....and the price off deal seems a little complicated. You got a nice logo why not lead with that? And no email address, most people in america uses email these days?

[RonB]

Better.

I wouldn't use Want twice. Maybe change the second one to "Need more free time?"

And maybe four questions are a bit much - what about changing the last question to a statement - "Start by leaving your lawn care to Green Clips!"

[GreenClips]

yeah Ron B you had a couple good points there so i did what you said...i do think it looks better and reads better the four questions went a little over board so i think its a lot better now...thanks for the advice...

[Runner]

No doubt...Get rid of all the question are crap. Also, starting out with something like :Tired of doing things you don't want to do?" What the heck is THAT supposed to be? Does that mean paying more bills to services of stuff I COULD be doing myself? Because you just addressed it... Get rid of the negativity. Furthermore, don't present me with dilemnas and questions. We don't want questions...we want solutions. Instead of giving the reader questions, give them answers to them without even asking the questions.

[Ed Ryder]

The first thing I noticed where missing question marks.

In my marketing pieces, I assume the reader already has a mowing service, and I try to convey why it makes sense to pick up the phone and call me.