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View Full Version : New customers. Phrases that make you RUN AWAY


marckxman
03-23-2007, 12:13 AM
Most of us have been in the biz long enough to read between the lines pretty well. What phrases do you hear that let you know right off the bat that this is NOT going to work out.

I will start with a few of my favs. I actually heard all of these this week.

1. I figure you're not too busy this time of year so I thought I would help you out. (Reality: It's SPRING. The only people around here who are not running like crazy are too stupid or stoned to answer the phone.)

2. I only need two rhodys pruned but I really want you to come out on Saturday or Sunday so I can pick your brain an some upgrades my son and I can do. (Meaning: I want to utilize your time, experience, gas money, and good will so I can cut you out of the money end of the project.)

3. I am retired but kind of picky. I need my lawn mowed today and then every 10 to 14 days there after. (Definition: I need you to drop everything and get over here now. I will be there to follow you around the yard. I want great service but I don't want to pay for it.)

THEGOLDPRO
03-23-2007, 12:35 AM
my other lawnguy doesnt wanna weed the poison ivy from my pacasandra, how much do you charge??

DLCS
03-23-2007, 12:36 AM
1. I'm on a fixed income.:cry:

2. I'll call you when it needs cut.:nono:

3. Cut the grass really short, so it doesn't grow as fast.:rolleyes:

4. Do you have a push mower?::waving:

5. I want my lawn cut every 10 days in the Spring, then when it slows down in the summer, I want it cut twice a month or I'll call you when it needs cut.:hammerhead:

6. I don't want a Spring clean-up, i can do that myself.:dizzy:

QualityLawnCare4u
03-23-2007, 12:38 AM
Let me see,

1) I am on a fixed income. Translated you are expected to do it for a sandwich and glass of water and be d*mn happy to get that from them.

2) I am looking for cheap lawncare, that ends my phone call right there.

3) The last guy did good work but quit showing up, translated means the cheap sob's did not pay him and are deadbeats. Run Forrest run!

4)My grass only needs cutting every 6 weeks, it grows real slow. Another
cheapazz.

5) one of my favorites, when you come to look at my yard you might want to lock up everything. Means there are drug dealers and hookers everywhere.

6) Another favorite, My yard has not been done since, umm, umm maybe about a year ago and there are a few limbs and leaves on the ground. Meaning the yard is overgrown with dog fennels and full of beer bottles, bycycle chains,car rims,monster truck sitting on blocks, not counting 4 trailor loads of limbs and leaves 5 inches thick:laugh: If you are stupid enough to do it that will be the only cleaning until next year when Larry the cable guy of Jeff Foxworthy is coming to visit.

7) can you cut it at half an inch so it does not come back as fast, another cheap pos!

richallseasons
03-23-2007, 12:46 AM
my other lawnguy doesnt wanna weed the poison ivy from my pacasandra, how much do you charge??

HEY that guy called me too !!!!!:laugh:

mosmgras
03-23-2007, 12:57 AM
Over the phone: "How much will it cost me to fix my yard? You don't have to buy anything, just give me a list of stuff that I need and I'll go the Home Depot."

Then the best finisher I have ever heard: "I can't pay you cash but if you'll meet me at the Home Depot when I go to get the fertilizer and stuff, I'll buy you something on my credit card." ;)

Umm... yea.

topsites
03-23-2007, 01:15 AM
We can't seem to find a lawn guy that will help us / Every lawn guy we call blablabla / The last lawn guy this and that and omg...

1. I'm on a fixed income.:cry:

LOL well so is everybody I've ever met, including myself.

But I did a job today for a lady who said that and it was ok, but when she said it I sure felt the dread coming.
Turned out she wanted some brush cut down, bunch of chiggery sticky prickly crap but all it took was an hour with the chainsaw and the hedge trimmers, and I got $60.
The guy before me quoted her $800...

But I can kinda see it, the job in and of itself didn't make a whole lot of sense, not getting into it other than I didn't really care whether it made sense or not, she obviously wanted it done and when I told her the price she was quite happy... But I've ran from jobs that didn't make sense before, too, this one just seemed ok, guess it was.

Did waste 5-10 minutes bs'ing around, but I found this tolerable.

>> This is the reason I always say you have to let them have one red flag for free, you just never know.
But most folks that are going to be a problem can't seem to stop throwing the comments, usually by the 2nd red flag I am turning around to leave but there are times they get a half dozen or better past me before I'm like whoa ... lol.

4)My grass only needs cutting every 6 weeks, it grows real slow. Another
cheapazz.

Oh no, worse, but in a nutshell, yeah.

when you come to look at my yard you might want to lock up everything.

never heard that one LOL will have to remember it thou

THEGOLDPRO
03-23-2007, 01:20 AM
HEY that guy called me too !!!!!:laugh:
haha yeah this old lady called me was like do you mow lawns, blah blah blah, then when i got there she was like yeah i allready have a lawn guy but he doesnt wanna do the poison ivy how much??? i just walked away.

Liquidfast
03-23-2007, 01:25 AM
I want to sign up and I'll call you when it needs the first cut.

(I'll do the spring clean up myself is a dead giveaway)

They come running up to your truck and stop you to tell you that it doesn't need cutting this week.....forgot to call = instant drop.

If the customer refuses to pay prior to the cut.

After you do a one time cut, the customer states that you agreed to throw in the mulberry tree, edging and weed removal.:hammerhead:

topsites
03-23-2007, 01:36 AM
Here's one I dislike: Come on IN! (even more so from a complete stranger).
Then: Have a seat, we'd like to ask you a few questions (translation: we are about to waste one or two hours of your time talking about seemingly important stuff because we want you to impress us by showing us how much you care and how much you know, but the real reason we are doing this is to slowly but surely let you know who is the boss here, but we will be very polite about it all and since we will pretend to pay attention to every word you say and will engage in meaningful conversation it is so you will hardly notice until it's too late, ok?). Oh, and after the 'interview' they say: Ok well we have to think about it but we'll let you know...
Your brain is going: Man, what a downer, I gave it my all, geez! But, not to worry (well, yes, worry).
Older folks can be extremely good at this one, but don't think young'uns won't do it, it helps if they live in a BIG house and want you to do all KINDS of work for them.
Time goes by and just about when you forgot about this, they suddenly call you (this time frame is usually two weeks and you are one done for fool if you get excited since the answer is YES, which that's the whole idea behind this little evil plot lmaolol I done fell for this one a few times over).
Conclusion: You are now their lawn boy, come hither johnyboy, yes you're a good boy, good boy.

> I'd like an estimate for year-long grass cutting...
Then, when I get there I find LEAVES, lots of them, more than I can just run the Wb over.

My favorite thou is when they start with this on the phone, I really appreciate it when they save me the trip out, no I'm not being sarcastic, the worst is when it doesn't start until I'm already done estimating lol.

topsites
03-23-2007, 01:52 AM
Honestly thou, if any of you have been interviewed (sigh)... It's not that bad, those kind of folks at least are usually pretty nice, it's just that in time you might have to let another Lco take a turn, but most of them do pay, and their checks almost always clear the bank (like at least 95% of the time or so, and if it bounces they'll write another and this one WILL clear, I promise).
You'll get paid close to 98% of the time or so, most are not bad folks, they just, well, kinda sorta might have a bit of the wrong idea, which, if you can tolerate it I would advise to do so because I'd work for them kind of folks long before I'd work for cheapos, they will spend money it's just everything's, well, kinda lawn boy'ish I guess.

I feel bad for even bringing it up, might scare one or two of you off one of these customers.
In the first few years, they're actually some of the better ones.

Tom c.
03-23-2007, 07:34 AM
How about thid one "just cut the front this week the back didnt grow much" or I bought this fertilizer at home depot how much will you charge me to put it down! :hammerhead:

MOW ED
03-23-2007, 08:10 AM
Can I get a better deal if I pay you cash?

How much do you charge to PULL weeds in the grass by hand?

I need my lawn raked and I don't want any machines on the lawn.

I have ChemLawn..... (say no more):waving: :laugh:

lawnman_scott
03-23-2007, 08:24 AM
I want you to cut it once, and if you do a good job we will keep you. (we havent cut the grass in 2 months and need some idiot to hack it down because our mower cant go through it)

Its a small yard, can you give an estimate over the phone? Well our minimum is _____. But its a really small yard. Well then the f'n price will be _____, thats our minimum.

And any phrase spoken by someone of middle eastern decent.

mowerman90
03-23-2007, 08:58 AM
1. Just so it's "green".

2. I'm on a fixed income.

3. Can I get it done today?

fazzy815-66
03-23-2007, 09:34 AM
speaking of can I get it done today!..... ever have those times where your cutting your "regular customer" lawn and some joe smoe from across the street comes overand says" can you do mine too?"..... and I'm thinking...yeah sure Ive got time to do that(sarcastically of course) "I'll fit you in with my other 25 I have to do today"...and of course were behind 2 days cause of rain.

marckxman
03-23-2007, 11:06 AM
speaking of can I get it done today!..... ever have those times where your cutting your "regular customer" lawn and some joe smoe from across the street comes overand says" can you do mine too?"..... and I'm thinking...yeah sure Ive got time to do that(sarcastically of course) "I'll fit you in with my other 25 I have to do today"...and of course were behind 2 days cause of rain.
They even get upset when you say you are too busy.

I had an old lady call the number on my truck while I had stopped to buy a tool.
"Do you mow lawns?"
Me- Yes.(mowers are on my trailer)
"Follow me to my house. It's only 2 blocks away and I need a mow today"
Me- Sorry. I can't do it today. I am too busy
"But it's only 2 blocks away, just follow me!" (her voice is rising at this point as she is getting frustrated)
Me- I can't do it. Maybe next week.
"No. I need it today (very agitated now) Why won't you come? It's only two blocks away."
Me- Because my day is full. Are you looking for every week or just the one time?
"Oh, just the one time. Maybe every two weeks or so if we can afford it."
Me- Bye

txgrassguy
03-23-2007, 12:21 PM
My personal favorite is people trying to get me to quote over the phone.
I had a husband/wife literally screaming at each other to me while on the phone about how much work they wanted and how large the lot was.
I hung up. The husband calls back asking why I hung up, I told him I have enough drama in my life so I don't want any from him/her or both of them.
So I hung up again. Guy calls back pleading with me to save him from his wife so I called the local S.O. department. She ends up getting arrested for domestic violence and guess, just guess who she meets in the lock-up?
That's right, my soon to be ex-wife who's in for the felony for popping a cap at me;)
And to make matters worse the freaking judge awards my wonderful spouse my S Type Jag while we are going through the divorce:cry:

Dano50
03-23-2007, 12:28 PM
"Is this stuff good in the bedroom?" When a guy asks me that I run like hell...

Az Gardener
03-23-2007, 12:49 PM
These don't make be flee but some are code and others just... well you know.

I need to be on Thursday or Friday service. :laugh:

I need to be here when the work is done, I'm a gardener too so like to work with the guys when they are here. :waving:

How do you get the pine needles out of the cactus thorns? :confused:

You need to go through the house to get to the... take your pick, balcony, atrium, court yard, plants in the shower planter. :dizzy:

The dog doesn't bite. "Cujo" ;)

My irrigation system might need a little work. payup

Frosty03
03-23-2007, 01:18 PM
sorry, duplicate post

Frosty03
03-23-2007, 01:21 PM
"My last guy just quit showing-up."

"Can I call you when I want it cut?"

"I have 5 dogs in the backyard..."

"Can you take care of sandspurs?"

"I've got some poison ivy growing along my fence, can you use your weedeater on it?

"My last lawn guy tried to go up on the price, can you come over and give me a quote?" ;)

topsites
03-23-2007, 02:25 PM
Another of my favorites is when I need time to think (like when pricing) but they keep talking and every 2nd or 3rd sentence contains a warning flag. What frustrates me thou, is when I see what they are thinking, and in more than one way I am informing them that they are going about it wrong, trying to let them know what it is they need to do, and how to go about finding a permanent Lco (vs. only new inexperienced guys) but their head is so far engrossed on the train that they don't hear a word I'm telling them... I'm sitting there thinking, you know, if they'd only listen, the information I'm giving is crucial and useful and I'm not just sales-blabbering like they think, but then I realize I'm probably wasting my breath and about then I thank them for their time.

But yeah, more often than not I actually try to help these people understand, in a nice way, that for example if price is the only deciding matter then maybe that's why there's never a permanent guy to be found, stuff like that, haven't had but so much success but at least I can sleep at night knowing I tried.

MuleCutter
03-23-2007, 10:23 PM
i'm always getting the "one shot deal" request which i try to digress but i dont shut them down completely. depending on the neighborhood and person it's potential for a regular customer. if its in the ghetto i tell them i'll be there the next week for an "estimate" but never show. if it's in a nice neighborhood and the owner is nice to deal with.... and understanding of a busy schedule i'll do it a couple days later but i charge a price worth going out of my way for. i also stay away from people tackling me at gas stations. i found out they are the most desperate most of the time..... especially when they are quick talkers trying to fit every "reason" for you to cut their lawn in one sentence.

MuleCutter
03-23-2007, 10:23 PM
i'm always getting the "one shot deal" request which i try to digress but i dont shut them down completely. depending on the neighborhood and person it's potential for a regular customer. if its in the ghetto i tell them i'll be there the next week for an "estimate" but never show. if it's in a nice neighborhood and the owner is nice to deal with.... and understanding of a busy schedule i'll do it a couple days later but i charge a price worth going out of my way for. i also stay away from people tackling me at gas stations. i found out they are the most desperate most of the time..... especially when they are quick talkers trying to fit every "reason" for you to cut their lawn in one sentence.

roguesuerte
03-23-2007, 11:10 PM
How about this one; My lanscaper is tied up this week with mulching jobs, could I throw you a ten spot to cut the front for me? Whats funnier is how angry they get when I tell them that I can't even consider it and that their "guy better get his priorities straight because we are all busy with mulch jobs.

QualityLawnCare4u
03-23-2007, 11:39 PM
I want you to cut it once, and if you do a good job we will keep you. (we havent cut the grass in 2 months and need some idiot to hack it down because our mower cant go through it)

Its a small yard, can you give an estimate over the phone? Well our minimum is _____. But its a really small yard. Well then the f'n price will be _____, thats our minimum.

And any phrase spoken by someone of middle eastern decent.

And any phrase spoken by someone of middle eastern decent

Yeah, I forgot that one. Should have been my number one warning!

Duekster
03-23-2007, 11:49 PM
Funny stuff guys. You have to do about 10 esimates to find the nuggest and add extra for the pita's.

chipk1
03-24-2007, 12:00 AM
I only like my bougainvilleas cut back once per year. Ouch!

1cooltreeguy
03-24-2007, 12:01 AM
"I just want an Estimate" - Translation-(I want to see what u charge so I can keep my reg. Mow Jo in Line)

corey4671
03-24-2007, 12:02 AM
I had an old lady this week that tried every inch of my patience. she calls wednesday afternoon and wants to know if I can mow a yard for her the next morning. I said I'm sorry I can't do it until Friday afternoon..OH well it HAS to be done Thursday morning.....well Friday afternoon is the earliest I can get to it....well you can come by and tell me how much it will cost...Yes ma'am but I have a $35 minimum..ok
drive by early Thursdya morning and look it over....determine it is a $35 job. call her later that morning...$35? are you sure that is enough?....yes ma'am....Well I have some more people coming to look at it. I'll write your price down....ok, and while I am there, since you live only two doors down(she wanted a rental quoted I can mow yours for $35 as well.....OH NO! I have a young man from church who mows mine for MUCH LESS than that!.....ok, I'm thinking at this point, why can't the kid mow the rental?...ANYWAY...I tell her, well I can get to it Friday afternoon...OH it won't need it this week!..(read back to the beginning of this post)...lady calls back Thursday afternoon...I wanted to let you know I found someone cheaper than you, thank you...ok...cheaper than me, at first she thought my bid might not be enough....argh!!

txgrassguy
03-24-2007, 12:16 AM
Had a real winner today.
Dude's wife drives a Benz, they have a F350 Ferrari Spider in the garage, live in a million dollar house then have the balls to tell me their on a budget.:nono:
My response was to the real estate developer and his lawyer wife " Were your clients on a budget?"
Jury's still out on this estimate.

Envy Lawn Service
03-24-2007, 12:55 AM
My personal favorite is people trying to get me to quote over the phone.
I had a husband/wife literally screaming at each other to me while on the phone about how much work they wanted and how large the lot was.
I hung up. The husband calls back asking why I hung up, I told him I have enough drama in my life so I don't want any from him/her or both of them.
So I hung up again. Guy calls back pleading with me to save him from his wife so I called the local S.O. department. She ends up getting arrested for domestic violence and guess, just guess who she meets in the lock-up?
That's right, my soon to be ex-wife who's in for the felony for popping a cap at me;)
And to make matters worse the freaking judge awards my wonderful spouse my S Type Jag while we are going through the divorce:cry:

Now that's a story!

Ain't that a B_tch?

It's funny, but it's really not....

pclawncare
03-24-2007, 01:01 AM
Thats a good one. txgrassguy last year i got rid of a pita customer i was mowing every week for a whole year next year roles around and in spring she says my son is getting out of jail and he needs the extra money so he will cut it next week but id like you to come back the next week and i though well its wasy job i make good money on it maybe he will just do it once well the time i mow it roles around and it hasnt been mowed it had been fertilized and everything no joke it was like 7in tall one of them where its up past your ankles and i said im sorry it will be more this time and she had to have it bagged she said i cant afford it and she went on to say how she has been screwed over by the world and her son steals all this money and **** for her and i said sorry and walked away. 3 weeks later i drive by and there is a guy on a craftsman sitting in her front yard grass is like a foot tall he has the mower jacked up in the middle of the yard after he had made it about 2 feet into the yard. i dont know what happended but something killed the thing imagine that. Anyway like another month later someone had managed to knock it down to about 5 in and clippings everywhere she calls me back i tell he it will be triple to get it back to the right hight and then after that the price will be double what it use to be. That was last year and i still have her as a weekly customer and man do i make the big bucks on that yard wish i could have a profit margin that high on all my accounts id probably have a couple million in the bank by now

DaughtryLC
03-24-2007, 01:33 AM
I would like to get on your schedule for this season?

OK, that sounds good, what did you have in mind?

I was thinking once a month or so!

Click!!!:confused:




I need to have my grass cut?

OK,when was it cut last?

About 2 weeks ago=(2 months ago):dizzy:

Scag48
03-24-2007, 07:09 AM
I remember cutting a few years back and a guy came up to me while I was loading my 36" W/B on the trailer and asked if he could rent it for a couple hours. Uhhh no....

jc1
03-24-2007, 07:42 AM
Yesturday I had a call from a customer that I had last year. She tells me money is tight and wants to be on a payment plan for the year. I tell her no problem. Then she tells me this year she just wants the front lawn fertilized and cut every two weeks. The back cut only once a month. She then tells me it is costing alot more then they expected to go to the bahama's for 2 weeks. At that point I told her find someone else.

JayD
03-24-2007, 07:46 AM
I got this one today..........NO KIDDING !
My dog has cancer and his med's are costing me a lot. I want you to mow either every two weeks or maybe even every three weeks. I will cut it on the weeks that you don't........Now think about this, If she is going to cut it herself three out of four weeks, than why the heck would you pay some one else to do it on the fourth cut???????? Am I missing something here?

JayD
03-24-2007, 07:48 AM
I remember cutting a few years back and a guy came up to me while I was loading my 36" W/B on the trailer and asked if he could rent it for a couple hours. Uhhh no....

LOL..................:dizzy:

cks dad
03-24-2007, 11:07 AM
One that i hear from older customers is.Can you please use your little push mower instead of the big mower.I dont like the big wheel tracks it leaves lol.ummm no lol.

Rhett
03-24-2007, 11:09 AM
It's not April yet. I dont want it cut until April. Its up to my knees. I have a few odd jobs for you to do. Don't do odd jobs, I mow the grass. I'm having a party could you do a clean up before and again on Sunday. Back to I mows the grass.

chipk1
03-24-2007, 11:13 AM
I have gone through 5 lawn services in two years, I just don't understand why they just quit showing up:confused: :confused:

Mowman16
03-24-2007, 11:43 AM
Foreign customers are the best. :weightlifter:

Do you clean gutters? (on a four story house) :nono:

I need you to come on Friday. :laugh:

Can you fix the fence? (whole thing rotted out) :dizzy:

Come over and give me a quote, the dog dosen't bite. (he just chases you back to the truck growling and sneering at you) :laughing:

The lawn is a little damp. (a mud pit) :rolleyes:

Do you clean houses too? :hammerhead:

Can you feed the cats while i'me on vacation? :confused:

Customer-Can you just mow over the dog doo?

Me- If I can use your hose to wash my mower and wipe my feet on the welcome mat.....the price will be_____ more too.

Customer-Oh, Ill clean it up.

chipk1
03-24-2007, 11:48 AM
The last guy kept leaving muddy ruts in my yard?

Jason Rose
03-24-2007, 11:57 AM
"our mower is broken, do you think you could come and mow sometime, oh no, it's not that tall at all"

Mower was probably broken for a good month before they made the call...

"I need bids on a couple propertys" And they name off some addresses in the chit end of town (rentals) and then want it done every 2 weeks.

ANYONE that calls and tells me that it needs to be done every 10 days. In what reality to they live in that every 10 days would work with anyones schedule??? like to show up on the sunday it falls on at about 6 am and just park the mower under their window. Too bad I won't do every 10 days PERIOD.

Az Gardener
03-29-2007, 09:03 PM
I'm a Realtor and I have a few homes for sale that need service. If I can get you those accounts can you do my house for free? :hammerhead:

TNT LawnCare Inc.
03-29-2007, 09:29 PM
Can you cut ever three weeks :hammerhead:

I'll call you when it needs cut:laugh:

It has never been fertalized:hammerhead: but grows real fast for some reason:laugh:

I had this kid do it for 15:hammerhead: last year.

Do you guys mow grass ???:hammerhead: never could understand that one.

What happens if i dont pay you ??:hammerhead:

corey4671
03-29-2007, 09:44 PM
we only need you every other week...we'll mow it on the weeks you don't come.

IN2MOWN
03-29-2007, 09:50 PM
I wont read through this whole thread but:


"Ill have to check with my wife".

IMO that's pretty much a NO.

marckxman
03-29-2007, 09:55 PM
I'm a Realtor and I have a few homes for sale that need service. If I can get you those accounts can you do my house for free? :hammerhead:

All you need to hear is "I'm a realtor"

This is the most self-entitled profession next to school teachers, oops, "EDUCATORS"

There are good realtors and they are great but many are just big blowhard whiners. I never understood how a realtor, of all professions, could look down on anyone. But they seem to do it with no problem.

WALKER LANDSCAPE
03-29-2007, 10:03 PM
The Other Guy Cut It For This Much. (customer)
Where Is He Now? (me)
He Told Me He Got Out Of The Biz (customer0
Wonder Why.

tinman
03-29-2007, 11:34 PM
1 I want to check out your work then see if we want regular service

2 It only needs cutting once per month

3 Is that your best price

4 Talks forever about what he can do to improve his lawn, but keeps mentioning that he can do most of this himself. Must think I am a consultant

5 Cut it as short as u can

6 Do you pull weeds

7 My son may cut it for me, but I want to see your price first.

.

8

NewHorizon's Land
03-29-2007, 11:50 PM
My favorite is when I quote a price and they say "Well I think its only worth $XXX do you think you can do it for that?" and it ends up being half of what I quoted. Or the fixed income one. EVERYONE is on fixed income. Wether its $100 a week or $10,000 a week its fixed. Just tell me you dont have money and your to cheap to hire me.

Alpha01
03-29-2007, 11:59 PM
I got a flyer that says he will cut my grass for $1 cheaper. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FINE!

jeffex
03-30-2007, 06:53 AM
All of the above , ditto!
My run away mode kicks in when its a older man who's doctor told him he can't cut any longer due to health reasons. That guy will watch you every second your there and then come out and want to tell you how to cut this and that his way. Price quote goes from $35 to $50 . Most go away on their own. Part of my initial qualifying conversation on the phone is " your not going to have a problem with how LONG it takes me to cut your lawn are you?" I explain about the productivity of my equipment and its cost vs what it used to take them to do it themselves.

Ford Guy
03-30-2007, 08:35 AM
I got this one today..........NO KIDDING !
My dog has cancer and his med's are costing me a lot. I want you to mow either every two weeks or maybe even every three weeks. I will cut it on the weeks that you don't........Now think about this, If she is going to cut it herself three out of four weeks, than why the heck would you pay some one else to do it on the fourth cut???????? Am I missing something here?

She wants you to do the trimming and the blowing that she didn't do for the 3 weeks that she cut it

cnymowing
03-30-2007, 03:52 PM
"can you mow the front weekly and the back biweekly?"

scagwildcat
03-30-2007, 08:01 PM
people who want price over the phone.

people that say,you want how much to mow? they think that 75k worth of truck/equipment thats sitting in front of them was given to me....

people that think your job is easy. like one guy i delt with, had no clue, but tried to teach me how to do my job... gave him a price on 35yds of mulch, told me i was out of line in price, because he said spreading mulch was easy, he helped a friend spread ten bags before and it was nothing lol lol lol

how about the ones that say your price is fair, but then, they tell you that the other guy did more then just mow and trim, he cleaned the pool and picked up the dog poop etc..

last year i had a guy ask me for so many prices my head was spinning, i had to tell him to slow down lol.. how much for the front, the back, trimming only,mulch, plowing etc. i think that he was trying to make me mess up on price, because he kept asking me over and over, i finally told him this is how much for the whole thing, thats the best i can do, i dont do half the lawn or just trim....

scagwildcat
03-30-2007, 08:08 PM
i forgot one..
how about when you give a price and they tell you that they were paying way less then your price, i always ask if they can show me a copy of their latest invoice with a letter head or logo on it. not one person in 10 years has produced one for me!

lawntimenosee
03-30-2007, 08:19 PM
1 I want to check out your work then see if we want regular service

2 It only needs cutting once per month

3 Is that your best price

4 Talks forever about what he can do to improve his lawn, but keeps mentioning that he can do most of this himself. Must think I am a consultant

5 Cut it as short as u can

6 Do you pull weeds

7 My son may cut it for me, but I want to see your price first.

.

8


LoL.. these are great because they are so true!

I have also heard all these questions too many times, except the last one (won't be long)

Some ppl have alot of nerve, balls of steel, or plain just don't give a f**k!

Always reminds me of someone on LS sig.. "Bid em like you don't need em" or in this case don't want em.

topsites
03-30-2007, 08:24 PM
I have gone through 5 lawn services in two years, I just don't understand why they just quit showing up:confused: :confused:

Would you believe I have a buddy runs a related but different work type of service who refers this kind of crap to me? It wouldn't be so bad, but he's an owner/operator and it was him they said it to! I said gee thanks, but no thanks. He talks me into it (I knew I should've just hung up) and sure enough, big waste of time, never got past the estimate. Let's just say elderly couple, come on in (you can take off your shoes), have a seat, we'd like to ask you a few questions.
That really had me stewing for a while, the anger consumed me for a couple of days after lol.

The next time he called with another referral, I said no thanks. He asked me why / what was wrong, I told him it's company policy to accept referrals only from customers, thanks again (and hung up).

I still question if that's what he thinks of me...

topsites
03-30-2007, 08:56 PM
I learned an interesting lesson: So long there are only one maybe two things and then it stops
(unless it's a big'n lol) it might just be a test of your skin's thickness, so just kinda play hardhead
for a second and see if they stop (some do). Because I feel they're entitled to test us, so long
there exists respect afterwards and they don't keep on and on, I can deal with it.
Then again if in doubt = run, you can't go wrong, you decide.

/////////////////
I just pulled and picked some, no particular thing, nothing personal...

What happens if i dont pay you ??

I don't think this one's a test, it could be, but bad choice.
Answer: Well it goes on your credit record, but frankly I'd rather have
the money so I'm afraid I must go now, ma'am / sir. thank you for your time.

All you need to hear is "I'm a realtor"

I don't know why but those are some of the worst cheapskates LOL!
Not a test, run!

This is the most self-entitled profession next to school teachers, oops, "EDUCATORS"

Wow, that's revelation!
Two of my three non-payers last year were in the education dep't, it kept bugging me, now I know.
Guess I won't be working for them no more.

The Other Guy Cut It For This Much.

This one's likely a test, my answer: Yeah...
Like in a monotone, uh-huh tone of voice, then just wait and say nothing.
Sometimes they agree, other times they go on so then it's usually over.
For those who agree, it was a test.

I want to check out your work then see if we want regular service

No, that's no test, that's bs lol, run!

Cut it as short as u can

Easy answer, don't care if it's a test or not: Yes sir!
Then cut at normal height, and that's as short as it gets.
Yup.
Other notes: Might not last the season, but hey.

Do you pull weeds

Normal question, the answer: It's just not cost effective, I have a sprayer I use, kills them dead.
But 1-2 more red flags could indicate pita, 3 more and time to run, yes.

My son may cut it for me, but I want to see your price first.

Not a test, my answer: Ok.
Then, this estimate takes low priority (read: let it wait and maybe you forget).

"Well I think its only worth $XXX do you think you can do it for that?" and it ends up being half of what I quoted.

Not a test, answer: Nope, and from the sound of things that wraps it up (and start leaving).
If they say another word other than 'k bye or 'k thanks, I just might inform them their offer was an insult.

how about when you give a price and they tell you that they were paying way less then your price, i always ask if they can show me a copy of their latest invoice with a letter head or logo on it. not one person in 10 years has produced one for me!

Interesting, I like that.
It could be a test, my answer: Yeah...
Or also: Really?!? Them: Oh yeah! Me: hmmm, uhmmmm....

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Funny things is, sometimes one tries to get me but does it wrong.
Not sure how to describe it, but come time to get paid you can see it on their face lol.
I don't practice this method as a rule, but once in a moon I get one who thought was going to get me instead.
Cauz I got a few tricks up my sleeve too lol this thread is great.

jeffex
03-30-2007, 10:19 PM
tried to scare one off just today!! referral from another customer sounded like they wanted cheap on the phone . I looked at the lawn and told them I don't need to do cheap. I said you have a nice place here . Is $1,000 in your budget for a season of lawn mowing. That number didn't seem so bad to them as $40 a cut X 25 cuts. I told them I only take customers who want a nice looking lawn and let ME decide if it needs cutting . They wanted to tell me about their grandsons who cut for $10 hr but I cut them off and said " look I'm sure your nice people but this is a business" I can only take on so many customers and I'm looking for what works for the both of us . I will make your lawn the best on the street if thats what you want to pay for or I can maintain it for a reasonable price and a trusting relationship. Hell, they signed up anyway.

xpnd
03-30-2007, 10:39 PM
Client: I would like to have a one time service and if you do a good job, we will hire you.

Me: I have already passed my test on how to mow lawns and make them look good. I am not due for recertification until next year. Thank you for your interest, good bye.

Client after an estimate: At that price to make it worth my while, you would have to include weeding the beds and trimming the shrubs.

Me: I'm sorry but to make it worth my while, you will have to pay extra for additional services.

Client: I just don't understand why you guys think you can charge so much. All your doing is mowing grass.

Me: Thank you for your interest. I wish you all the luck in the world in your search to find a company that will pay you for the privlege of servicing your lawn. Click.

BTLS
03-30-2007, 11:06 PM
Call from a young, newly married girl, "Yeah, I saw your sign and wanted to know, like, what all your service does? I have a normal lawn and then a small lot next to it that we want done. Do you think it will be around a hundred a month or so?"
Get there, there are f-ing old diapers thrown on the ground at the back porch, weeds at least 4 feet tall and as thick as a baseball bat and 3 kennels...one rot, one pit bull (Oh no, it's an "American" bulldog, just don't get close to that one) and a rhodesian ridgeback. The dogs are f-ing foaming at the month trying to get through the kennels and at me. The lot next door is an acre and rediculously overgrown. I actually sold $200 a month for her lot only and said I'd do the "extra" lot once, just to seal the deal. I started the mower, almost engaged the blade then put the mower up and told them no.
Weeds, diapers and 6 inch tall crawfish tubes everywhere...I had to draw the line.

ALso, "What does your standard service include?" Duh, cut, edge, blow and haul azz. I think they are actually expecting me to say, "Hey, what the hell. I'll go ahead and clean your beds, trim the hedges and trees, fertilize and aerate your lawn weekly as well. And while I'm at it, I'll do it all for $12 a week. That sound good? Holy S!

"Can you pull the weeds by hand? When you cut them with a weedeater, they just come back."

Message on my machine- "Hey Ben, we have a lot of leaves on the lawn and in the flowerbeds. My husband wanted to know if you'd help us out and bag all that up." Yeah, I'll be right over.

From a realtor who pulls up along side my rig, "Hey, can you cut this lawn? It's just a little overgrown (meaning- no grass, just 2 ft tall weeds covering bricks, bats, bottles, etc.) Just send me an invoice and I'll mail you a check." I did this once, never heard from that B and don't entertain them anymore.

surgeon83
03-30-2007, 11:21 PM
"Our last guy charged $50 for the mowing (3 acres heavily wooded) and then $7/hr for other yard work like weeding the flowerbeds, raking leaves, and planting. "

Lynden-Jeff
03-30-2007, 11:25 PM
" ill check the budget". Or better yet "Im disabled". As mean as that sounds, I have nothing against disabled people but this one guy left me a message and he said im disabled at the end. I called him back and said $35 for around 1/3 acre. He freaked and said a professional did it for 7 years for $20 a week and then hung up on me. :hammerhead:

surgeon83
03-30-2007, 11:47 PM
Here are some that are more original, some repeats:

"I own a store that sells such-and-such. Maybe we can trade such-and-such for lawn mowing."

"I will hire you to mow only the steep parts and I'll do the rest myself."

"Can you use my lawn mower and trimmer?"

"The big mowers don't work for us."

Old lady- "The last guy always seemed like he was in such a hurry- just wizzed around the lawn on his big lawn mower, so I decided it was time to find someone else."

"Your minimum price is what?!? There's no way I'd pay that!"

These were all real calls.

Jeds_Lawn_Care
03-31-2007, 12:00 AM
I had a guy call me to ask if I could bag a yard as just a 1 time job. When I offered to mulch the yard he said

"Nah, I like to ride around on my ridin' mower and drink beer so thanks any way."

Ya never know who is gonna call ya.

topsites
04-07-2007, 03:38 PM
I get one of these every once in a bit (or similar)...

Starts out by asking the price on the phone (Lco clue 341: this one's very likely about to end long before I even have to look at it).
But I have the answer: It's $30 minimum and for the first 1/4 acre, then it's $5 for every 1/8th acre after that.
Most of them: Huh? (now be a good Lco and repeat yourself, this probably won't take much longer, I promise).

Then, next: Ohhh I see, well my lawn doesn't need cutting very often, I'm trying to let the moss grow.
Me: Yes ok, well thanks, I'm not interested.
click

Jeds_Lawn_Care
04-07-2007, 07:27 PM
What happens if i dont pay you ??:hammerhead:

Me--Thats what the 12 ga. is for sir.:laugh: :laugh:

Mowman16
04-07-2007, 07:54 PM
Me--Thats what the 12 ga. is for sir.:laugh: :laugh:

lol, good one.

corey1977
04-07-2007, 09:59 PM
I had a guy in the navy I did some spring clean up for he did not want to pay me for it then when mowing picture its spring it rains 15 days a month he goes I dont want you to mow my grass intill it stops raining I told him well this is maine by the time it stops raining it will be august and your lawn will be 4 feet hi I said to him bye bye

Lawn Tek
04-07-2007, 11:40 PM
We lay down a fert app , go bye a week later see home owner pushing spreader ,he has put 150lbs of fert on 5k .Though he would "help out"

Horsepower Lawns
04-08-2007, 12:53 AM
I had one ask if I can bag her lawn and not charge her more for it. I charge $5 to bag. She wanted it cut every 2 weeks.
When I told her I couldn't give anyone a break she e-mailed me that "I found a service that is going to work with me on what I can afford to pay"

OK, when they stop showing up call me. ;)

WJW Lawn
04-08-2007, 10:14 AM
1. I overpaid for my house....

2. Can I post-date a check to you...I don't get paid til next week, but need it cut this week. (One time cut) THEN GET A LOWES CARD...BUY A MOWER...MOW IT YOURSELF AND PAY IT OFF LATER!!! ERRRRRR

GreenN'Clean
04-08-2007, 10:29 AM
The ones I run away from are the ones that say they just lost there job and want to know how much I will charge them to cut there grass,,,,,,

mojob
04-08-2007, 12:32 PM
Me--Thats what the 12 ga. is for sir.:laugh: :laugh:
"I'll have my cousin Bubba come by to explain the "nonpayment plan" to you".

lawnman_scott
04-08-2007, 12:47 PM
How about people that call about a week or less before any big holiday. 4th of July is a good one. And they want yearround service, just has to be done before the upcoming holiday and dont want to sign a contract till they see if you do a good job. The grass usually isnt more than 4 feet tall though.

gqnine44
04-08-2007, 01:00 PM
All you need to hear is "I'm a realtor"

This is the most self-entitled profession next to school teachers, oops, "EDUCATORS"

There are good realtors and they are great but many are just big blowhard whiners. I never understood how a realtor, of all professions, could look down on anyone. But they seem to do it with no problem.

For some reason this is true. No group will give you more trouble than realtors, teachers, and pilots. My guess is that most teachers dont understand capitalism, realtors will happily rip off their own mothers, and pilots are mostly just stupid and are highly paid for a relatively easy job. Avoid these people most of the time.

Prestige-Lawncare
04-08-2007, 01:38 PM
Love'em ....

:hammerhead:

Lawnboy85
04-08-2007, 04:49 PM
I have told each of my customers to call me ahead of time (usually a day or two in advance) so that I can schedule it in. A majority of the 60 yards that I cut are not weekly jobs. I can't stand when some old man/woman calls me at 7 a.m. and says they need the yard done that day. I want to tell them, "well you'll have to take a number and stand in line."

Also, to any not-so-experienced lawn care guys, any new customer that calls and wants the yard cleaned up, if it's tall, you should charge extra for it. A lot of times, people get so busy and can't do the yard, and expect you to come do the job at the same price as someone who would mow it on a regular basis, only to drop you once you initially get the yard in better shape for them. ALWAYS charge more if the yard is tall or out of hand. It's not worth the risk of running over a stump and messing up your machine.

Lohse's Lawn Service

dwc
04-08-2007, 11:03 PM
1. Did I call you for an estimate?

2. I'm calling you and several others for an estimate and whoever gets here first gets the job!

3. Now what company are you with? (translates: I called everyone I could possibly find and I am price shopping....aka Wal-Mart's #1 fan)

3. My last guy did it for $10 but his phone say's its been disconnected, can't you do it for the same?

4. What if you only edge one side of the sidewalk every week?

DUSTYCEDAR
04-08-2007, 11:28 PM
i need u to cut it till my kids get out for summer break

they also don't call till the end of April and they have chem lawn and the grass is a foot tall

oh can u come back in the fall to cut it once in sept translation no one is going to cut it half of june all of july and aug so in sept u will need a combine to cut it lol

corey4671
04-08-2007, 11:56 PM
I've seen this one on here before but I laughed when I got this note from a customer this week
"We will be in Portland OR for two weeks. Don't bother mowing the grass until we get home." whatta idiot!

topsites
04-09-2007, 01:13 AM
One of my favorites, thou I'm not always in the mood for it anymore, is when a good looking woman decides to flirt with me LOL! Either way it's a red flag because I figure someone is trying to get cute with me in order to get a better price, but one of my favorite answers is to drop the business conversation immediately and tune totally into her, seeing how she showed such interest.

Strange, out of all who have ever flirted with me, not a single one was truly willing to carry through.
Sad, too, as it shows such true nature, the look on their face is one of absolute bafflement, kinda like uh-oh what do I do now?
But beyond this I let them off the hook lol, a good portion of them are (or could be) married or engaged, I mean, it's not worth the chance to me, still I find it amusing.

The other thing I found amusing, a few weeks back I was reading up on some Air conditioning web site about what they recommended customers do / not do. One of the things they said is that women shouldn't be tempted to flirt with the guy sent out to estimate so as to get a sweeter deal, because more often than not it could be the owner and by flirting with the owner they're playing with power and how that could backfire... I thought that was pretty cool, thou, someone went through the trouble to explain it, but once I pull my trick 3-4 times and do it consistently, even in a city of 500,000 inhabitants, the flirting with me stops completely for a long time (at least a year, more like 2-3, it just started again lol, I'd almost forgotten about this).

How well word of mouth works, that is one of the most amazing proofs.

Ramairfreak98ss
04-09-2007, 01:19 AM
ive had before... Thirty dollars? Well the other company quoted me $29, you cant cut it any lower? I say no, i start at $30.00 and walk away lol.
Who knows if these jokers even had another quote.

I quote another customer cutting/trimming and blowing, standard lawn care contract... Does that include the fertilizer? I said for a $35 per week cut? lol

Then they ask, you maintain all the mulchbeds too right? I say, yes for a seperate price i would be glad to quote you for a seperate job.

And of course, everyone gets, well my last company was doing it for XXX less than you quoted me... why did you have me come out and price your lawn then?

spaceman12321
04-09-2007, 03:27 AM
My favorite conversation goes like this:


Me: Sure, we can do that, it will be $35

Customer: Well Bob the mower will do it for $30...

Me: Ok have him do it then.

Customer: Well, he won't/don't do (xxxxxx).

Me: Oh, I see. Well you are either saving $5 or wasting $30 because you aren't getting what you want.

Customer: Hmmm... well I want to have you do it.

Me: Ok, great, $35.

marckxman
04-09-2007, 09:34 AM
I was at a customer's house last week.
The neighbor came out and yelled at me, "Hey you, come over here and give me a price to mow my lawn."

I was about to fire up my blower, so I put it down and walked over to her and she said, "I am going to fire my lawn guy, how much to mow every other week?"

I said right up front I don't mow every other week in the spring. Maybe in the summer but definately not this time of year.

She said, "ok, well how much per week?"

I told her $28

She said "Ok but I only want it every other week"

Freaking idiot.

David C.
04-09-2007, 11:31 AM
Customer calls----"Ummmmm!! I need some work done on some box hedges!!!"

I go out----look at the hedges and then ask

"Do you want me to mow your lawn??"

"No! That's alright!! I have a lawn guy already!! He just don't do hedges!!"

Its like a Barber who doesn't do sideburns!!!!!!

No tellin' how many hedge jobs I've done----hedges grown up that'll rival a Vietnamese jungle----lawn guy too lazy to clip um!!!!!

Daner
04-09-2007, 12:37 PM
I can cut your lawn for $60 Dollars Mrs Joans...OHHHHH...Can you give me a better price than that?? Sure How about $70.

bohiaa
04-09-2007, 06:43 PM
If I just hired you and this is your 2nd time to cut my yard how come it dont look like that one over there

tinman
04-09-2007, 07:07 PM
Customer: "I need lawn service today. How much?"

Me: "TODAY????

Customer: Yes I need it today"

Me: "I usually do not work on Saturdays unless I am behind. And today is the day before Easter so I cannot help you."

This happened this past weekend.:hammerhead: :hammerhead: :hammerhead: :hammerhead: :hammerhead: :hammerhead: :hammerhead: :hammerhead: :hammerhead: :hammerhead: :hammerhead:

David C.
04-09-2007, 09:02 PM
I was headed home from a big job----took me 9 hours to mow---buddy---I was one tired cookie----it was gettin' late---the sun was settin'---and my little tummy was hungry!!!

I check my cell phone----there's a message

"Can you come cut my lawn today????"

Delete!!! Delete!!! Delete!!! Hurry!!

Scagguy
04-09-2007, 10:28 PM
I was headed home from a big job----took me 9 hours to mow---buddy---I was one tired cookie----it was gettin' late---the sun was settin'---and my little tummy was hungry!!!

I check my cell phone----there's a message

"Can you come cut my lawn today????"

Delete!!! Delete!!! Delete!!! Hurry!!

I had several of those calls on Friday. I was mowing one property when a guy comes by and begs me to do his yard that day. Turns out he lives a block away, so I tell hime I would put him on the schedule for next week. He says, you don't understand, "My regular guy went out of business and I've been trying to find someone else". He then says, "my yard is about 8000 sq ft. I'll pay you $150.00 cash right now to do it today. ( We are in a high end country club community) I say " ok I'll go look at it when I'm done and get with you in about 20 mins." I go over to his house....the yard is maybe 6500 sq ft. So we knock it out fast. He gives me the $150 and then tips my guys $20 a piece. Man, I sure could use more customer like that!!!!

mojob
04-09-2007, 10:49 PM
Customer calls----"Ummmmm!! I need some work done on some box hedges!!!"

I go out----look at the hedges and then ask

"Do you want me to mow your lawn??"

"No! That's alright!! I have a lawn guy already!! He just don't do hedges!!"

Its like a Barber who doesn't do sideburns!!!!!!

No tellin' how many hedge jobs I've done----hedges grown up that'll rival a Vietnamese jungle----lawn guy too lazy to clip um!!!!!
I would have told her to get Joe Mownblow to do it. Hand her my card and say, "call me when you're tired of Joe Mownblow's halfazz work".