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View Full Version : The Logic of what we do...


Prime Cut Lawns LLC
07-02-2007, 01:32 PM
I thought this was kinda fun...

YARD WORK - AS VIEWED FROM HEAVEN

(overheard in a conversation between God and St. Francis):


God: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature; what in the

world is going on down there in the U.S. ? What happened to the

dandelions, violets, thistles and the stuff I started eons ago? I had a

perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of

soil, withstand drought, and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the

long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees, and flocks of

songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of color by now. All I see

are patches of green.

St. Francis: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. They are called

the Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to

great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.


God: Grass? But it is so boring, it's not colorful. It doesn't

attract butter! flies, bees or birds, only grubs and sod worms. It's

temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want

grass growing there?


St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it has grown a little,

they cut it....sometimes two times a week.


God: They cut it? Do they bale it like hay?


St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in

bags.


God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?


St. Francis: No sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.


God: Now let me get this straight...they fertilize it to make it

grow and when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?


St. Francis: Yes, sir.


God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we

cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth

and saves them a lot of work.


St. Francis: You aren't going to believe this Lord, but when the grass

stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water

it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.


God: What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees.

That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees

grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer.

In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep

the moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they

rot, the leaves become compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.


St. Francis: You'd better sit down, Lord. As soon as the leaves fall,

the Suburbanites rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled

away.


God: No way! What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree

roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?


St Francis: After throwing the leaves away, they go out and buy

something called mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place

of the leaves.


God: And where do they get this mulch?


St. Francis: They cut down the trees and grind them up to make mulch.


God: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore.

Saint Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you

scheduled for us tonight?


St. Catherine: "Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's a really stupid movie about....


God: Never mind--I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis!

KS_Grasscutter
07-02-2007, 01:38 PM
:laugh: :laugh:

Grits
07-02-2007, 03:08 PM
That's pretty good!

bigtex
07-02-2007, 03:53 PM
I WAS JUST WATCHING LAST NIGHT A DOCUMENTARY ON BIN LABEN, AND (ONE) OF HIS MANY REASONS FOR HATING THIS COUNTRY, AND THIS WENT INTO DETAIL IS ( the american peoples obsession ) WITH THEIR LAWNS. FOUND IT TO BE VERY PETTY. IT IS KIND OF FUNNY IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

David Gretzmier
07-02-2007, 04:04 PM
well bin laden does have his cave and sand in the desert. kinda hard to grow grass in a cave.