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View Full Version : Who said "There is no such thing as a stupid question"


rcreech
08-28-2008, 11:29 PM
I'm sorry, but I think there are a lot of stupid question's! Maybe it is just because of it being a somewhat stressful time or something, but I am getting too many! I think part of it is I am growing so fast I am losing the "personal touch" and also getting people that I don't even know! I am not sure....but there are some real dandies out here (pun intended)! :laugh:

I had a customer ask me today why his lawn is turning brown.....

I said....well, if I had to guess, I would say maybe because be have only had about 1.5 inches of rain in the last 2 months and its going dormant. :dizzy: He said...."Well I thought that is why I hired you....to keep my grass green"!

WOW!

Why is it that is someone gives you $50 they expect their lawn to be green? Do they think we are magician's?

Anyway....what is the dumbest question you have ever gotten from a customer?

whoopassonthebluegrass
08-29-2008, 12:23 AM
..."Well I thought that is why I hired you....to keep my grass green"!

Rodney, I get this inference a lot. And here's my DEADLY EFFECTIVE response every time:

"If I were to find you dying of dehydration and I hand you a multivitamin - how much good is that gonna do you?"

Works every time.

pinto n mwr
08-29-2008, 01:03 AM
dumbest quesion?.... Everytime, at the same jobsite, although it happens at others, is what are you doing?

I don't know, what did I do the last time that I spoke to the same person. The same person time after time, years upon year asks the same question, what are you doing?

Once told them that I'm spraying round-up. What's that? Kills everything!!! Ha!Ha!

rcreech
08-29-2008, 07:37 AM
Rodney, I get this inference a lot. And here's my DEADLY EFFECTIVE response every time:

"If I were to find you dying of dehydration and I hand you a multivitamin - how much good is that gonna do you?"

Works every time.

NICE analogy!

I like that! :)

grenskpr
08-29-2008, 07:51 AM
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask questions"

Bill Murray- Stripes

whoopassonthebluegrass
08-29-2008, 10:26 AM
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask questions"

Bill Murray- Stripes

Gotta love Bill Murray. I still love Groundhog Day.. and The Man Who Knew Too Little.

:laugh:

LawnTamer
08-29-2008, 10:39 AM
My wife put a little sticker on our fridge, it says; "If there's no such thing as a stupid question, what kind of questions do stupid people ask?"

I get stupid questions and complaints regularly. Here everyone has irrigation. You need to to have more than dirt and sage brush. At least 3x per year I get a call from someone who "has" grubs, or "has" a strange fungus. I show up to check it out and notice little rings of green around each sprinkler head, so you could stand in the street and easily locate every pop-up head. Everything else is baked.

"Sir/mam, you have a watering problem." It is amazing how often they don't believe it. I have to show them core samples and have them measure the water coverage to get them to believe it.

LawnTamer
08-29-2008, 10:49 AM
Thought of another stupid question that I've been asked a few times. I spray shrubs/trees for bugs, occasionally fungus/disease. I have a sprayer dedicated to this purpose. It has never had a herbicide in it. It has the word "Shrub" decaled on the sides.

About once every other year or so, I'll have a client come out and ask me; "This isn't going to kill my shrubs is it?"

I should answer, "What? These are shrubs? I thought they were weeds."

I also was at a bid once, the homeowner lady asked me if I hired Mexicans. She said she didn't want any Mexicans working on her property, didn't trust them. The weird thing about this was that she was a Mexican. Married a white boy accountant and was now above associating with her former countrymen.:laugh:

phasthound
08-29-2008, 11:39 AM
While spraying Hemlocks with horticultural oil, the neighbor stops me and asks, "Will that stuff ....(pause to inhale on his cigarette).... harm me?"

RigglePLC
08-29-2008, 07:47 PM
"What are you puttin' down? " "Fertilizer."
"Is this the last one for the year?" (asked Aug 26th. )

americanlawn
08-29-2008, 07:50 PM
We had a customer call in last year accusing us of burning her lawn. When I got there, it didn't look like one of our lawns cuz it was full of crabgrass & spurge (her mowing height was about 1 1/2 inches). Nobody was home, so I called our office to get specifics as to when we last treated.......it was TWO YEARS ago! Seems she cancelled us and was using a different service. It's funny how some customers forget who treats their lawn. Conversely, we have customers who "keep files" regarding each treatment, billing, etc, etc. :laugh:

mikesturf
09-01-2008, 11:33 PM
I had some guy tell me that my aerator caused his lawn to get grubs.

cod8825
09-02-2008, 01:26 AM
A customer came out to me one day and asked how many apps they had signed up for. Another goes I am not sure but what are all these brown spots in my yard as there two huge Golden Retriever run past us!

turfcobob
09-02-2008, 11:32 AM
You guys should be on the equipment end of this game. We had a guy call in one day and ask why we did not put the narrow side of a V-Belt on the inside. If we would it would fit in the pulley better than having the wide side on the inside.

I have a T-shirt that reads
" God must love Stupid People, he made so many of them "

Keep up the good work and keep smiling it confuses everyone

Turfcobob

Victor
09-02-2008, 03:52 PM
I'm sorry, but I think there are a lot of stupid question's! Maybe it is just because of it being a somewhat stressful time or something, but I am getting too many! I think part of it is I am growing so fast I am losing the "personal touch" and also getting people that I don't even know! I am not sure....but there are some real dandies out here (pun intended)! :laugh:

I had a customer ask me today why his lawn is turning brown.....

I said....well, if I had to guess, I would say maybe because be have only had about 1.5 inches of rain in the last 2 months and its going dormant. :dizzy: He said...."Well I thought that is why I hired you....to keep my grass green"!

WOW!

Why is it that is someone gives you $50 they expect their lawn to be green? Do they think we are magician's?

Anyway....what is the dumbest question you have ever gotten from a customer?

I feel for ya man! Dealing with customers is the only part of my job I don't like. I've got some wonderful customers, but there are a limited few that'll make you contemplate whether the pleasure you'd get from whoopin' their arse would be worth the jail time.

I wish I could see you dealing with your PIA customers. I'd really enjoy that! Being a fast talker like you are, I'll bet you really put them in their place.:laugh:

DeepGreenLawn
09-02-2008, 04:00 PM
While spraying Hemlocks with horticultural oil, the neighbor stops me and asks, "Will that stuff ....(pause to inhale on his cigarette).... harm me?"

LOL

I gave a quote just the other day... the guy called and said he had a fescue lawn... wanted to see about starting a service due to the amount of weeds taking over...

I arrive... and start talking to the guy... I don't think anything of it until he asks why when he overseeded last year that it didn't last? I turn and look at the yard and turn back to the guy. "You aerated and overseeded the front?"

"Yeah with fescue seed."

I about let my jaw drop at the stupidity, then he goes on to say this weed that is covering his yard seemed to kill it off.

The yard is 99% Bermuda... the same as just about EVERY other lawn in the state of GA!

I don't expect people to know as much about this stuff as we do but REALLY? Come on!

I then spent a good 30-60 min explaining to him the difference between the two. Explaining the same thing over and over and over... apparently it either finally sunk in or he gave up... he called today wanting me to start with whatever I felt was necessary...

I just hope he stays out of the way...

I don't know... maybe you had to be there...

junior091273
09-02-2008, 07:09 PM
Here's my favorite, and this was from a well educated man.

What are you doing here today? "I'm applying preventitive grub control w/fertilizer.

"Oh ya ? What's that do ?

Spraying 3-way on the same property. What are you doing with that stuff?

"WATERING YOUR LAWN"

americanlawn
09-02-2008, 07:56 PM
We get this one at least once a year....(service call)

Guy calls in saying we burned a spot in his front yard. When I get there, I use the truth detector (soil probe). Then I peel the sod back....then I see "made in "Kenosha, Wisconson". Yep -- they sodded right over a manhole cover! :laugh: If the customer is not home, I leave a sign saying "manhole cover". (I use one of our flag sticks with a business card instead of a yard sign. this way I can write "manhole cover" with an arrow pointing down).

grenskpr
09-02-2008, 08:13 PM
" I really think that fertilizer you're using has weed seeds in it."

DeepGreenLawn
09-02-2008, 08:58 PM
Have a new customer call... go out to the yard. The front is typical bermuda here, as it is the south, and the back is sometimes fescue (99% of the time WAS fescue is now weeds). I have had a few customers pull this one on me.

Tell them that the back is fescue and we will wait until fall to overseed and get a hold on it, this is mid-summer. They then INSIST that I spray and kill the weeds now. I INSIST that we wait, one was on a decent slope, but they win and they pay for it money wise. I make it VERY clear that the weeds will die but only to be replaced with more weeds.

Few weeks later... I get a call and they ask, "Why are there still weeds in the back yard?"

One customer... after two weed killings, both they pay for, calls and does it again... "Why are there weeds in the backyard?"

Wow.........

This time I refuse to treat it again... they typically go along and are happy in the fall when I kill the weeds, aerate and seed and then they have fescue rather than seeds...

DeepGreenLawn
09-02-2008, 08:59 PM
Don't yall know that the customers know how to do our job better than us?

punt66
09-02-2008, 09:07 PM
Don't yall know that the customers know how to do our job better than us?

Based on some i see on this site i think some do hahahah. You know the ones. 12 years old been in business for 4.

S.I.
09-02-2008, 09:48 PM
The most common for me is "The lawn is dying I think I have bugs" It never fails upon showing up the grass is cut at 1.5"-2" and they water once a week.


As a matter of fact I have one right now that I told the guy last summer "your cutting too short, don't cut the grass less than 3" " He called a few weeks ago "I think I have grubs in my yard, do whatever it takes to make it look good again" I stopped by on my mowing route, took a walk around the yard, set the sprinkler to run twice a day, remove the key (I didn't want him messing with it) and told him part of making it look good again involved me handling the mowing and water for a few weeks. Two weeks later the lawn is green, and I have a full service customer on contract.

DeepGreenLawn
09-02-2008, 10:19 PM
NICE,

I have a customer who I believe uses a maintenance company... showed up this last treatment and I swear the yard was at about 1-1 1/2".

The lawn was already starting to die... the zoysia in the back looked great though... go figure...

pinto n mwr
09-02-2008, 10:25 PM
I suppose this isn't really a question but more or less a statement for everyone...
nothing against anyone but, this involves a certain nationality...

When you get that estimate call from a certain someone you just need the street name and city and let the fort dodge white rock and the lawn butched to an inch to find the right address.

americanlawn
09-02-2008, 10:28 PM
Even moving the mower up 1/2 inch makes a HUGE difference. Not sure what kind of turf you have (K bluegrass, bermuda, St Augustine, etc) , but here's an example.... "Lawns that are mowed short can be as much as 30 degrees HOTTER than a lawn that is mowed higher". (at the crown of the plant) We always tell customers that "Mowing (string trimming too) is the KEY to a nice lawn". :walking:

The most common for me is "The lawn is dying I think I have bugs" It never fails upon showing up the grass is cut at 1.5"-2" and they water once a week.


As a matter of fact I have one right now that I told the guy last summer "your cutting too short, don't cut the grass less than 3" " He called a few weeks ago "I think I have grubs in my yard, do whatever it takes to make it look good again" I stopped by on my mowing route, took a walk around the yard, set the sprinkler to run twice a day, remove the key (I didn't want him messing with it) and told him part of making it look good again involved me handling the mowing and water for a few weeks. Two weeks later the lawn is green, and I have a full service customer on contract.

rcreech
09-02-2008, 10:31 PM
Even moving the mower up 1/2 inch makes a HUGE difference. Not sure what kind of turf you have (K bluegrass, bermuda, St Augustine, etc) , but here's an example.... "Lawns that are mowed short can be as much as 30 degrees HOTTER than a lawn that is mowed higher". (at the crown of the plant) We always tell customers that "Mowing (string trimming too) is the KEY to a nice lawn". :walking:

I agree totally!

I always tell my customers that they can pay me all they want to make their lawn look good...but if they don't mow it correctly (mowing height, mowing frequency, mowing dirction etc.) then is doesn't really matter!

DeepGreenLawn
09-02-2008, 10:32 PM
the one I was talking about was fescue... most of the time it is bermuda and a little zoysia.

DeepGreenLawn
09-02-2008, 10:32 PM
I agree totally!

I always tell my customers that they can pay me all they want to make their lawn look good...but if they don't mow it correctly (mowing height, mowing frequency, mowing dirction etc.) then is doesn't really matter!

SHARP BLADES!

rcreech
09-02-2008, 10:43 PM
I wish I could see you dealing with your PIA customers. I'd really enjoy that! Being a fast talker like you are, I'll bet you really put them in their place.:laugh:

Thats funny Vic!

You know me too well!

I always try and educate them first...and if they don't "listen" then I give them the BLUNT HONEST TRUTH!

bug-guy
09-03-2008, 12:09 AM
i had a guy ask me what's wrong with my lawn? when i started to explain he stops me and say's "you can't tell a thing about my lawn that i don't already know. this is my thrid lawn." to which i answered listen to me or you will be buying your fourth by next year.

MJS
09-03-2008, 12:20 AM
i had a guy ask me what's wrong with my lawn? when i started to explain he stops me and say's "you can't tell a thing about my lawn that i don't already know. this is my thrid lawn." to which i answered listen to me or you will be buying your fourth by next year.

hahaha now that's funny :laugh:. What's worse are the people who do actually know a little bit about their lawns - they can be the worst - always giving you a hard time because they think they know better. My response when frustrated is always "this is why you hired me, right? Lawn care?

S.I.
09-03-2008, 01:06 AM
Even moving the mower up 1/2 inch makes a HUGE difference. Not sure what kind of turf you have (K bluegrass, bermuda, St Augustine, etc) , but here's an example.... "Lawns that are mowed short can be as much as 30 degrees HOTTER than a lawn that is mowed higher". (at the crown of the plant) We always tell customers that "Mowing (string trimming too) is the KEY to a nice lawn". :walking:

This thing is blend of fescue, Kblue, and rye, with large patches of spurge.

I try to keep the yards that I mow between 3 1/4 -4 1/4 unless otherwise requested, and then I make sure that they have the capabilities to keep it watered enough.

HoseJockey
09-03-2008, 12:51 PM
When I worked for Tru-green about 7 years ago, I did commercial route but when I ran out of work I had to do a residential route. It was always in the "hood" because nobody wanted the route because of the area.

One day I'm spraying a front and sides when this car stops and two ladies get out. I'm thinking they want an estimate or they are lost.
They come up and ask me what kind of dogs do I have for sell? I just look at them and they then ask me if I have any pitts for under $200.

I'm looking at them thinking what the f@@@? are you talking about.

I had the picture of the yellow lab with the newspaper in his mouth on the side of the truck. They thought i was selling dogs out of the Tru-green truck.

Then the one's that ask if that lawn spray will kill roaches? "No it won't kill them but it will sure piss them off though." They reply "Oh OK, don't worry about spray in the house then."

whoopassonthebluegrass
09-03-2008, 01:23 PM
...They come up and ask me what kind of dogs do I have for sell? I just look at them and they then ask me if I have any pitts for under $200... They thought i was selling dogs out of the Tru-green truck.

Then the one's that ask if that lawn spray will kill roaches? "No it won't kill them but it will sure piss them off though." They reply "Oh OK, don't worry about spray in the house then."

Unreal.

GOD MUST LOVE STUPID PEOPLE, 'CUZ HE SURE MADE A LOT OF 'EM.

turf hokie
09-03-2008, 08:49 PM
I have an account that we have been subbed out on for 2 1/2 years now which tranlates to 15 applications on this property.

She comes out EVERY FRICKIN TIME with phone in hand and I quote "Who are and what are you doing on my property I have never seen you before"

I swear she already has 9-1 dialed when she hits the front steps.

DeepGreenLawn
09-03-2008, 09:06 PM
how old is she?

turf hokie
09-03-2008, 09:23 PM
how old is she?

Mid 40's, 4 million dollar house, not senile by any stretch of the imagination. It wouldnt bother me as much if she was older.

DeepGreenLawn
09-03-2008, 10:21 PM
I had a customer, not a bad thing... HAD, who swore up and down that I never came out and treated her lawn after she signed up...

The maintenance company who I work with saw me there doing it.

But you know, customers always right... funny how the lawn went green and the weeds started disappearing though... hmm....

mngrassguy
09-04-2008, 01:45 AM
Haven't heard this in awhile and it's hardly worth repeating but nobody has mentioned in this thread yet so here it is...

"How come my neighbors lawn is nicer then mine and they never do anything"?

Ya, sure. lol