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View Full Version : Wife's reaction


mel58109
03-28-2009, 03:53 PM
For anyone new in the business who is already married:
I know you guys will think I'm some sort of meanie, but I never let my husband know how I really feel. I've supported him throughout his career before and will continue, so don't start yelling at me! But-I'm curious about your wife's reaction to your lawncare career. A few years ago, husband quit his whitecollar managerial job to start mowing lawns. (It was a complete shock to me and the kids.) I don't know what to tell my friends and family.

AI Inc
03-28-2009, 04:15 PM
Tell them he is just slumming , that he will grow up and get a real job soon.

Brian James
03-28-2009, 04:32 PM
Registered 3 years and this is your first post? And I thought I didn't post that much. Anyway my wife's reaction was nervous supportive. She was hesitant about the change of income source and worried how much of a difference we would see. She was tired of my constant complaining about my job and the stress it was causing. I don't know what the problem is with telling people that he owns his own business. Sounds like you are too worried about other people...and that is your cross to bear. I'm not being mean but just truthful.

IA_James
03-28-2009, 08:02 PM
Tell them he is just slumming , that he will grow up and get a real job soon.

This. Your husband is a knucklehead. Sorry.

Exact Rototilling
03-28-2009, 08:55 PM
For anyone new in the business who is already married:
I know you guys will think I'm some sort of meanie, but I never let my husband know how I really feel. I've supported him throughout his career before and will continue, so don't start yelling at me! But-I'm curious about your wife's reaction to your lawncare career. A few years ago, husband quit his whitecollar managerial job to start mowing lawns. (It was a complete shock to me and the kids.) I don't know what to tell my friends and family.

Have you kept this a secret for all this time? .....or ...what did you finally tell them?


I suspect this is easier on some wives than on parents. "My kid went to college to mow lawns and dig in flower beds"


I hope your husbands business is going well....? If not I hope he spend time here on Lawnsite. Lots of golden nuggets to be found here but it's time consuming like anything else.

All Season Bill
03-28-2009, 11:30 PM
Well if your husband didn't know before...he knows now if he gets on here.

After working for companies that kept selling or going under, my wife was all open to the idea of me starting my own company. She does not like however the feast or famine thing or the way we have to wait the way some people pay.

TuffWork
03-29-2009, 02:25 AM
Me and my love just split. Not due to work (see blizzards and crazy women in Offtopic thread). When I made the switch about a year ago she was really supportive. She knew that I would do well and had faith in me that I can be successful at anything I put my mind to. She felt that I had been wasting my time just waiting tables to put myself through school anyway. So I saw a major pay increase, but if you're really unhappy about it, sounds like his biz isn't doing too well. If done professionally, mowing lawns and digging in flower beds can make alot of money and IMO is respectful career. It may not be as glamorous as having some fancy title, but it's nice to be able to call yourself "owner". You shouldn't be ashamed to tell people what he does. It's not like he's digging ditches.

borwicks
03-30-2009, 01:58 PM
At one time I dropped all my customers (31) because wife said i needed to be home more. So I worked my full time job, then I said to myself I really like doing that type of worked...long story short,,we got a divorce. I now do this full time and love every minute of it. My current soon to be wife supports my decision.

J & D Greens
04-01-2009, 01:10 AM
I can't speak for my wife, but the stress of working your own business is scary especially in these uncertain times. I have worked in retail for thirty years now and I'm really sitting right where I was financially when I started. Yes we have three kids one 25 and she is married now. My second is going to be 18 and wants to go to college. My son is 14 and will be starting high school next year. He came down with type one diabetes 4 years ago. Now I don't see me making enough money at my currant job to take care of my family in my currant position. I worked hard as a kid for a professional gardener in my youth and love doing it. There is lots of money to be made and satisfaction of doing a great job for people who you work for. I wish I had made the decision to go after this sooner. The only reason I didn't is that I was going to be able to retire with a pension when I turn 50 years old. But with the economy the way it is, it may change with the new contract with our company. So would it have been better to go for a business that would bring in three times the income I currently have a long time ago? We started our business part time with the notion that when I retire we would evaluate whether I would go full time with it alone or hire a crew. David

Chestnut Oaks Prez
04-01-2009, 01:38 AM
Ran the roads 5 days a week for 25 yrs selling stuff and depending on 2000 people to back up what I sold.:cry: Making 3 times what I make now. Got so sick on Sun knowing I had to leave town the next morning. Found out that making enough money and doing what you enjoy was Happiness. Knowing the buck stops here when you tell a customer you'll do something is a lot more comforting. Nothing like the STRESS and SATISFACTION of owning your own Biz.:usflag:

White Gardens
04-01-2009, 03:11 AM
I started my biz right before I met my wife.

She was sketchy about it until she lost her job, became pregnant (by me) and was able to stay home for 16 months until she found another job.

Since I was able to support us, she has no problems with what I do.

mikewhit1010
04-01-2009, 12:10 PM
There are plenty of companies out there that make a great amount of money. Sounds like you have an issue with what people think. I went to a private school and graduated with a BA in Electronic Business. I came back to cutting grass and landscaping because I was good at it and I made really good money. Your husband owns a lawn care business. I think that is more glamours then my husband crunches numbers for a large CPA firm sitting in a grey cubicle 14 hours a day while you sit at home wondering if he will have enough time or energy to come home to make sweet sweet love. And I have plenty of white collar house wives stare threw the window wondering what it would be like to be with a real man. Not to mention us landscapers have great tans, typically better bodies, are more fun, and dont hate our lives. If you are blue collar now instead of white then go by some french cuffs and pretend you are white collar.

So unless your husband is not making any money support him. Your support will go a long with with his success. If you dont support him then he will fail.

mel58109
04-01-2009, 12:56 PM
Well guys, I really appreciate your input. I guess it just was such a detour and while I am really good at running businesses (other people's) I just felt like I had no idea about this business or what to expect. (The loss of insurance sure is a tough thing.) It was pretty rough going at first, but it is starting to make the turn. Actually, in this economy, he may be the only one of his bunch who will still have a job!

mel58109
04-01-2009, 12:59 PM
There are plenty of companies out there that make a great amount of money. Sounds like you have an issue with what people think. I went to a private school and graduated with a BA in Electronic Business. I came back to cutting grass and landscaping because I was good at it and I made really good money. Your husband owns a lawn care business. I think that is more glamours then my husband crunches numbers for a large CPA firm sitting in a grey cubicle 14 hours a day while you sit at home wondering if he will have enough time or energy to come home to make sweet sweet love. And I have plenty of white collar house wives stare threw the window wondering what it would be like to be with a real man. Not to mention us landscapers have great tans, typically better bodies, are more fun, and dont hate our lives. If you are blue collar now instead of white then go by some french cuffs and pretend you are white collar.

So unless your husband is not making any money support him. Your support will go a long with with his success. If you dont support him then he will fail.

Actually, when I think about it, he has a lot more "energy" after working those long summer hours in the sun than he did with all the frustration in the cubicle! OK, I'll stop complaining...

mikewhit1010
04-01-2009, 01:10 PM
Not sure if you are being sarcastic but being infront of a computer all day beats me down way more then the a hot summer day. Not to mention I am in better shape which gives me more energy.

mel58109
04-01-2009, 01:12 PM
I was very serious!

mikewhit1010
04-01-2009, 01:20 PM
ha ha ha well good. Just so you know there are multi multi millionares that are in this business. I believe he got to his white collar job by being a good businessman. Well he will do the same with this. If you have looked around on this site some companies have grown very fast over a couple of years and they have more tools and toys then some big wig ceo's. Plus they have more control.

Good luck. Be supportive. Nothing worse then going out working hard like that knowing your loved one doesnt want you to be there. It really makes you not want to work. No work means no pay day.

larryinalabama
04-01-2009, 01:27 PM
Wifes are completely useless

ambersLawnmowing
04-01-2009, 04:02 PM
My wife looked at me like i was nuts. I slowly bought all new equipment while working another job. Now i am fulltime, well o.k i am lazy and only do this 4 days aweek, but make more money and have fun doing this. She has better insurance then HER job offers and she likes the money That i can/do make. I kind of set my own rules and if i get into a pinch i can place an add and make MORE money in a few days if needed better then working the overtime and waiting for the money. She was hating it when i first started because there wasnt a steady enough check coming in and she had to learn the word SAVE.. But now i think she would shoot me if i quit doing this. SHe also likes that i can make all of my kids games and school stuff, Before this my job i worked i would have been dead from all the hours worked and no family time. Just support your hubby, in what he does and i am sure he will support you in your adventers.

Lawnworks
04-01-2009, 11:34 PM
It seems like the less I care about what other people think, the more enjoyable my life is.


There is incredible potential to make a great living in this business.

MarkintheGarden
04-02-2009, 01:09 AM
Well guys, I really appreciate your input. I guess it just was such a detour and while I am really good at running businesses (other people's) I just felt like I had no idea about this business or what to expect. (The loss of insurance sure is a tough thing.) It was pretty rough going at first, but it is starting to make the turn. Actually, in this economy, he may be the only one of his bunch who will still have a job!

It is a big change, but if your husband has found what he should be doing you got to make the most of it. And it does not surprise me that you think his job security is better now.

I was working at the house of a friend and customer who is a lawyer, and when he came home I was sitting on his steps dumping mulch out of my shoe. He came up to me and said that he has to deal with a lot of dirt in his job too.

The dirt that we deal with in this business washes off! Not so sometimes in the white collar world.

Dignity does not come from what you do, it's how you do it.

Best luck to you both.

turtle
04-03-2009, 07:46 PM
This is so funny my fiance was just nagging me about getting a "real job". Next day I found this post

Proc's Lawncare
04-03-2009, 08:40 PM
Maybe my wife is a little different then everyone else's after reading these posts... Instead of just supporting me verbally, she quit her job to come work with me for us and our family! Our case is different then most, we own an online company that pays all of our monthly bills but we kept our "real jobs" for the 401k, the health benefits, the stress, you know... all thats grown up stuff. Then one day I went to work and was told my department was now over sea's, either move to some place in taiwan I can't even spell or collect unemployment and look for another job... Gotta love KODAK!

So I took a week off, then told my wife what I wanted to do... and she said, "i'm in... let me give my notice at work, figure out something for health insurance, then you tell me what I need to be doing so we can make this work for both of us and our family"

My wife was never worried about what we would tell our family, nor was she worried about maiking ends meet or if we would still be taking a cruise this year.... Her response to me was what can I DO to make sure this is a success and something we can build together....

Guess my point here is not to worry about what others think or if all the bills are going to get paid on time, take the initative to not just support him verbally, but throw on some gloves and get in there and MAKE it work. My wife would never let me fail, and i swear i push harder seeing her there sweatin with me... Just my two cents, maybe re look your position and see if you can't answer your own question.

Proc

borwicks
04-03-2009, 09:11 PM
This is so funny my fiance was just nagging me about getting a "real job". Next day I found this post
well if shes that way now, will she change or will you change.

TPM
04-05-2009, 10:26 PM
Me and my wife had a similar conversation last night and tonight. I am going through a transition myself and lost my white collar job from a company where my wife still works and has been there for 24 years. The company was downsizing and was firing (not laying off). The company is almost recession proof, 100 years old, has billions in reserve and is private almost non profit. They were busting everybody for things like harmless holiday emails to taking to many smoke breaks. No warnings, no talking to's no nothing! Made every body sign a At Will Employee Letter in the beginning of the year and all. To protect the public image they have posted on their website and in the local papers "no layoffs here" and it makes me sick that they say that. I watched month after month as my co-workers some 20+ years got picked off one by one for things that years earlier people wouldn't even bat an eye at. I stayed because of the 401M and pension BOTH. I still get my pension at a whopping $450 a month when I am 64 but the 401 is gone as I had to cash it out to pay off some bills. I WAS MISERABLE FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS! I got sick every morning thinking about what JO was going to see how far he could push me and what office politics I would have to play to survive yet another year. I found another job doing the same thing but as a consultant (no paid sick or vacation) so I am sticking it out just long enough to go into the lawn and landscape business full time. Sure I will make more $$$$ doing the I.T. thing but it is not what I really want to do and if I can't be free to make my own decisions then I might as well be dead. Makes me ill to have to think of sitting there again in a cube 9 hours a day. Plus I have ADHD imagine going through that day in and day out!


Support him and in the end you will be glad you did.

Lawnworks
04-05-2009, 11:03 PM
Me and my wife had a similar conversation last night and tonight. I am going through a transition myself and lost my white collar job from a company where my wife still works and has been there for 24 years. The company was downsizing and was firing (not laying off). The company is almost recession proof, 100 years old, has billions in reserve and is private almost non profit. They were busting everybody for things like harmless holiday emails to taking to many smoke breaks. No warnings, no talking to's no nothing! Made every body sign a At Will Employee Letter in the beginning of the year and all. To protect the public image they have posted on their website and in the local papers "no layoffs here" and it makes me sick that they say that. I watched month after month as my co-workers some 20+ years got picked off one by one for things that years earlier people wouldn't even bat an eye at. I stayed because of the 401M and pension BOTH. I still get my pension at a whopping $450 a month when I am 64 but the 401 is gone as I had to cash it out to pay off some bills. I WAS MISERABLE FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS! I got sick every morning thinking about what JO was going to see how far he could push me and what office politics I would have to play to survive yet another year. I found another job doing the same thing but as a consultant (no paid sick or vacation) so I am sticking it out just long enough to go into the lawn and landscape business full time. Sure I will make more $$$$ doing the I.T. thing but it is not what I really want to do and if I can't be free to make my own decisions then I might as well be dead. Makes me ill to have to think of sitting there again in a cube 9 hours a day. Plus I have ADHD imagine going through that day in and day out!


Support him and in the end you will be glad you did.

Why do you think you will make more money doing the IT thing? How much did you make before taxes?

TPM
04-05-2009, 11:57 PM
I was the Chief Information Officer of North American operations making 150k + bonus and whatever else I could steal from the company in personal perks. Nah, just kidding! I was making 53k + 16% company invested 401m, 3 weeks vacation and 1 week sick time. I was figuring my first full time year not making as much as that in the lawn and landscape business but it is really do-able but didn't want to set my goals to high.

My wife supports me 100% and for that I am THANKFULL

TPM
04-06-2009, 12:00 AM
After taxes about 39k

sunray
04-06-2009, 12:14 AM
adjust your living standard, forget about what others think and be happy.
As the years go by the money will increase if you pay attention to your business and work together.

borwicks
04-06-2009, 12:31 AM
adjust your living standard, forget about what others think and be happy.
As the years go by the money will increase if you pay attention to your business and work together.

very nice stuff.

Lawnworks
04-06-2009, 08:45 PM
In this business, 100k net is VERY EASY to do. 250k net is also very possible... you just have to delegate work. Plus when you have a good accountant, you can escape alot of taxes that you could not when you payed witholding.

The only reason I am in this business is the money. This business sucks. It is hard work and clients are little brats. But it is damn good money with very little overhead.

ch973934
04-07-2009, 10:55 PM
I'm a junior in college, working through my EMS Management degree 30+ hrs a week in clinicals for paramedic, working for a busy private service as an EMT 30+ hrs a week and school. Dropped the route I had in high school for this stuff for now, then when I get on the fire dept. right back to landscaping...
When I first got with my girlfriend (now ex) freshman year of college she supported everything I said I wanted...but last summer when I worked for a landscaping company 40 hrs a week, had cardiology 12 hrs a week and worked EMS 18-24 hrs on the weekend, her tune changed. Now she says I work too much and she is worried about me(and continues to tell me that's why we aren't together)...Well, I don't know, but I don't think she understood what I told her originally, and well all I have to say is she'll be sorry in 10 years...

Glad to hear some success stories out there....

HowesYourYard
04-09-2009, 02:58 AM
My husband pointed this thread out to me and I had to reply. My Husband left a job which he moderately loved for a change. I am fully supportive of this choice and love that he loves what he dose. I often tease him that he's retired. I love that he is able to arrange his schedule if I need him to for home/ or family. I wouldn't change his choice for self employment for anything in fact I would love to find a way to be self employed one day as well. I am so proud of what he dose and what he wants to do with the business as scary as it may sometime be.

Thanks a supportive wife.

big acres
04-09-2009, 04:24 AM
My husband pointed this thread out to me and I had to reply. My Husband left a job which he moderately loved for a change. I am fully supportive of this choice and love that he loves what he dose. I often tease him that he's retired. I love that he is able to arrange his schedule if I need him to for home/ or family. I wouldn't change his choice for self employment for anything in fact I would love to find a way to be self employed one day as well. I am so proud of what he dose and what he wants to do with the business as scary as it may sometime be.

Thanks a supportive wife.

Ya' got a sister?

borwicks
04-09-2009, 09:41 AM
I'm a junior in college, working through my EMS Management degree 30+ hrs a week in clinicals for paramedic, working for a busy private service as an EMT 30+ hrs a week and school. Dropped the route I had in high school for this stuff for now, then when I get on the fire dept. right back to landscaping...
When I first got with my girlfriend (now ex) freshman year of college she supported everything I said I wanted...but last summer when I worked for a landscaping company 40 hrs a week, had cardiology 12 hrs a week and worked EMS 18-24 hrs on the weekend, her tune changed. Now she says I work too much and she is worried about me(and continues to tell me that's why we aren't together)...Well, I don't know, but I don't think she understood what I told her originally, and well all I have to say is she'll be sorry in 10 years...

Glad to hear some success stories out there....

nice. good for you. You will be better off without her. Best of Luck.

beegreenlandcare
04-14-2009, 03:10 PM
My wife does all the office work. Thats alot especially now during tax time. :cry:On many occassion she helps w/ mowing too. She'll run a 6ft z turn like there's no tommorrow! This June, we'll have been married 20 years.We have 2 daughters. One helps often enough, the other...its just not her thing.
So, I guess you could say YESSSSS my wife and further more, my family support me in this biz!

PS: my wife also plows snow w/ her Jeep and shovels sidewalks on the accts she needs to.

LawnoftheMonth
04-14-2009, 11:14 PM
i quit my corporate job of 12 years in the industry and started my own company this february and my wife is totally cool and supportive, she tells EVERYBODY that i started my own company, lol. She still has a job and im bringing in about 1 new customer a day (60 so far)...so it's just a building process for me and she realizes this.

She helps me pass out door hangers when she isnt at work, gotta love her, we can cover a couple of medium subdivisions a day.