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supercuts
06-13-2011, 08:43 PM
I thought one thread with all our customer quotes would be fun...here are mine:

1. I'm never late with my payments, every time you send a late notice I pay it.
2. there are alot of clippings, can you cut it shorter
3. I asked you to come once every 2 weeks, why did you come 3 times this month?

peahlybros.
06-13-2011, 08:52 PM
"Yea hi my name is xxxx, is this Peahly Bros. Landscaping?"- customer
"Yes it is, how can I help you?"-Me
"I'm not looking for a landscaper, I just need someone to mow my lawn, can you do that?"-customer

This gave a good laugh since he asked for Peahly Bros. LANDSCAPING.... who was he expecting to find on the other end of the phone besides a landscaper?:hammerhead:

ProStreetCamaro
06-13-2011, 08:53 PM
"I don't understand why you are only cutting every other stripe"

93Chevy
06-13-2011, 08:54 PM
At a retirement community:

"Your guys were cutting down this street and missed my lawn" - We hadn't gotten to her house yet
"Your guys didn't trim my back lawn" - Completely false
"Your guys haven't blown off my patio yet" - Also completely false

At an HOA:

"You missed this spot in my back lawn" - Literally 6" of standing water back in the spring

93Chevy
06-13-2011, 08:58 PM
Probably the best, at an HOA when we were edging:

"Please don't walk in my mulch beds when you edge. I have thousands of tulips that will die if you step on them....blah blah blah...Everybody here is tired of you guys trimming shrubs 3 times a year. This is a nice place. We'd like to have the shrubs fill out. We don't want this to look like a parking lot."

944own
06-13-2011, 09:33 PM
What do you charge to mow yards?

93Chevy
06-13-2011, 09:34 PM
What do you charge to mow yards?

I used to punch everybody in the face who asked me that when I was self employed.

Maybe that's why my business no longer exists.

tailboardtech
06-13-2011, 10:16 PM
when your at my house can you take my trash to the curb when you leave

Tofutti
06-13-2011, 10:24 PM
" Can you cut the lawn shorter? It looks like the blades of grass are bent rather than cut. That'd be great"..... while cutting Ryegrass at 1.75 .... >.<

Georgia Lawn Works LLC
06-13-2011, 10:27 PM
I'd like you to blow off your lawn mower before you cut my property to prevent any weeds from getting transfered to my lawn.

tjlco
06-13-2011, 10:32 PM
My spray guy said you mowed too short, or tall, or fast..and thats why the lawn looks this way.
My response: Mrs. Smith I do 17 lawns on this street, same height and speed, and the only one that looks like this is yours...your also the only one with Tru Green...

Tofutti
06-13-2011, 10:32 PM
I'd like you to blow off your lawn mower before you cut my property to prevent any weeds from getting transfered to my lawn.

They MAY actually have a point during the early season when grass and weeds are seeding.

nobagger
06-13-2011, 10:37 PM
This is gonna be good,lol

Here's a few:
Hold on while I put my teeth in.
My last guy only charged me 10 bucks. ME- Well call your last guy. THEM- He's out of business.
My lawn hasn't been cut yet this season, can you do it today I want it looking nice this weekend. (two weeks ago).

nepatsfan
06-13-2011, 10:38 PM
I had two seperate customers who both had the same fertilizing service(not true green) both call me the same week(same grass/fescue, rye, bluegrass blend) One customer said the fert company said we were cutting too long and the other one says we are cutting too short????? I just laugh how they blame everyone else.

planetlc
06-13-2011, 10:38 PM
Your guys didn't blow off the driveway after mowing and there are leaves from the trees all over-customer
Sir, there was a massive storm that came by about two hours after when we were on your property. It blew the leaves off the tree and onto the drive.-me

I blew off that drive personally
Posted via Mobile Device

DEPENDABLE LANDSCAPING
06-13-2011, 10:50 PM
With flags marking new loan and seed the customer placed there. She says to me that she can't understand why I didn't mow all the grass. Lady PLEASE!
Posted via Mobile Device

gebby
06-13-2011, 11:06 PM
Customer - My central air is not cooling. My heating and air conditioner guy said maybe the lawn guy hit the unit. The unit was over 20 years old. The unit needed freon. The unit had no holes in any lines or fittings but the repairman felt like he had to blame some body. I told the customer to have him call me instead of just calling it was it was, old and wore out.

desert rose gardening
06-14-2011, 12:59 AM
Can you cut it shorter? I can't find the dog poop!

BINKY1902
06-14-2011, 01:25 AM
1. "Is that the lowest your deck will go?"
2. "What do you charge for an acre?"
3. "You think you could haul off all that junk in the back yard?"
4. "Ya'll hiring?"
5. "The last guy did it for $25, but he just quit coming by, can you do it for that much?"
6. "Just come and cut it, and if you do a good job I might let you start cutting it regularly."
7. "Do you work on hot water heaters?"
8. "My wife's brother needs some extra money so I guess I'm gonna start letting him cut it." ( Then I get a call back the next week saying the brother in law didn't work out)
9. " Hello, I need someone to mow my yard, but I need it done today."
10. "So...what's your real job when you're not mowing and stuff"?

topsites
06-14-2011, 02:07 AM
1, The last guy I hired just quit showing up...

Then, the very first check I get from these folks, bounces.

tlc1994
06-14-2011, 02:22 AM
Customer: "Why are you handing me your birth certificate, I don't need this."
Me: "That's your bill."

****

Customer #2: "I'm forclosing on my house, but I wanted to know if you'd stick around for a month afterwards so the neighbors don't notice."

STIHL GUY
06-14-2011, 06:48 AM
"I don't understand why you are only cutting every other stripe":laugh::laugh::laugh:

supercuts
06-14-2011, 08:16 AM
1. my lawn drys out easily and I want it perfect, do whatever it takes....just cut it very very low

2. Im allergic to the grass clippings, so cut it shorter so there will not be as many

3. do you scrape the deck off before each lawn?.......

4. Im selling my house and I only want you to come twice a month. just make sure its cut very low so it looks good and i dont want alot of clippings

5. That much for a fall cleanup and you blow the leaves in the woods? In Long Island they did it for only $100! 2acre lawn all trees vs 0.08 acre

Golfpro21
06-14-2011, 08:22 AM
Can you cut it shorter? I can't find the dog poop!

had this call last week

told him I can find it...its all over my freaking tires

Get Some...
06-14-2011, 08:46 AM
"My yard has never looked so good, I am glad that I found you...."

"Make sure that you stop by and get a check after two mow's, I do not want my bill to get too high."

"We are very happy with your work."

For the most part my customer's are good, the ocassional yo-yo come's and goes..........

MOturkey
06-14-2011, 09:15 AM
"When you cut it on Wednesday, by the weekend it doesn't look like it has been mowed at all!"

When giving a bid on a new property: "I was paying $15, but could probably go up to $17."

Five days after mowing an overgrown lawn in mid-April: "Our yard already looks like it needs mowed. My husband thinks you should mow it again at your expense."

"If I don't get it mowed, my landlord is going to mow it and add $40 a month to my rent. I just can't afford that!"

"Our Craftsman mower has had a flat tire for three weeks, and it will be another week before the Sears repairman can get here and fix it. We've got a fenced back yard and three large dogs, and it is really getting to be a mess!" Sorry lady, I'm just too busy, but thanks for calling!

Sammy
06-14-2011, 09:27 AM
My spray guy said you mowed too short, or tall, or fast..and thats why the lawn looks this way.
My response: Mrs. Smith I do 17 lawns on this street, same height and speed, and the only one that looks like this is yours...your also the only one with Tru Green...

I have heard that one a few times ! ..... Same reason, TG.

MChamp4
06-14-2011, 09:54 AM
"When you cut it on Wednesday, by the weekend it doesn't look like it has been mowed at all!"

When giving a bid on a new property: "I was paying $15, but could probably go up to $17."

Five days after mowing an overgrown lawn in mid-April: "Our yard already looks like it needs mowed. My husband thinks you should mow it again at your expense."

"If I don't get it mowed, my landlord is going to mow it and add $40 a month to my rent. I just can't afford that!"

"Our Craftsman mower has had a flat tire for three weeks, and it will be another week before the Sears repairman can get here and fix it. We've got a fenced back yard and three large dogs, and it is really getting to be a mess!" Sorry lady, I'm just too busy, but thanks for calling!

I can't stand when customers ask me to cut their lawn shorter because they say it is growing faster.

topsites
06-14-2011, 10:06 AM
"Can you follow me to the bank so I can pay you?"
...
At the time I basically had little choice so I did.
On two separate occasions.

As you might gather, that one didn't last the season.
The last time I was supposed to get paid the customer had called me, it wasn't the first time this customer had
called while I was literally en route to their property when the phone rang and was on a road just 5-10 minutes away.
I said that I'm like 5 minutes out, the customer said they didn't have time and suddenly had to leave.
You can see where this is going?

I tried to keep the customer on the phone just long enough to where I was turning onto their street.
I wouldn't get that lucky.

"Can you meet me out here next week on Saturday and I'll pay you!"

After so much back and forth I told this one, just keep your stinking money.
"No, but I want to pay you!"

I was so tired of the BS I said it again and again, just keep it.
Finally the customer relented.
And said "So I will see you here in two weeks?"

It was unreal.

MOturkey
06-14-2011, 10:17 AM
Topsites, I had one that called me, telling me that he was on the road (a salesman), and that his wife didn't have any money at the house, but he would be home the weekend and would personally bring the money by the house, if I'd just go ahead and mow.

Well, I mowed, and the weekend came and went with him a no-show. I drove by the house the next week, and they had packed up and moved. I realized then it was more than likely a rental (told me they owned the house when I mowed the first time), and the yard had to be mowed to get their deposit back. Stupid on my part.

Darryl G
06-14-2011, 10:50 AM
1) "Are those your mowers?" as the customer meets me at the curb when I show up for the first cut and they see the mowers on my trailer, towed by the same truck I showed up in for the estimate.

2) "The mower is in the shed" when I show up to do an estimate for mowing....O.K, she think's I'm little Johnny from up the road.

3) "Can you mulch around the weeds?" The customer didn't want to pay me to do the weeding and was supposed to do it herself but didn't get to it.

4) "Is blow drying extra like at the hair dresser?" says a new customer after running out and frantically waving her arms at me - elderly woman - I was just dispersing some clippings. I told her it was included in the price.

5) "I'll call you when it needs mowing."

6) "You didn't take long enough, it used to take my husband all weekend to mow the lawn." Pssst....he was milking it to hide from you!

7) "Oh, I didn't want you to mow the whole lawn at the same time. We've never cut the whole lawn at the same time." WTF? Ok, so I'll do the front today, the sides tomorrow and the back on Friday......

8) "You made my yard look too good, now may taxes are going to go up."

9) "Can you come and take a look under my skirt? There are strange noises and a terrible smell coming from down there. The plumber was the last one down there, he knows how to get in." Elderly woman. This one really got me......until I realized she was talking about the skirt around her trailer....there were skunks living down there.

supercuts
06-14-2011, 10:53 AM
I can't stand when customers ask me to cut their lawn shorter because they say it is growing faster.

thats right, there is one:

the grass is growing really fast and there are alot of clippings which i dont like, so can you cut it shorter?

Chevy z71
06-14-2011, 12:20 PM
At one womens house she allways says when where done man you all are fast.

Im so glade you came today it looks good when you finsh it.

Can you weedeat in that back conner my dog likes to take a s back there. AFTER I ALLREADY DID.

supercuts
06-14-2011, 01:16 PM
its almost that time of year again which reminds me about:

knock knock, "I just wanted to let you know there is a large bee nest in the ground over there, be careful, we were stung quite a few times."
customers- "oh thanks but we already knew about it"

billythekid
06-14-2011, 01:49 PM
Me- after explaining that I don't own a catcher and won't own one for awhile and that my mower won't clump unless the grass is soaking wet or a foot high and saying i'll double pass if it looks bad at no extra cost....

Customer- So what are you going to do with the clippings?

sache
06-14-2011, 03:23 PM
Customer-Thanks for cutting the lawn nice and short, now I can see all the weeds that I need to pull.

madisonpressurewashing
06-14-2011, 03:41 PM
its almost that time of year again which reminds me about:

knock knock, "I just wanted to let you know there is a large bee nest in the ground over there, be careful, we were stung quite a few times."
customers- "oh thanks but we already knew about it"

This happen to me. Pissed me off

epm
06-14-2011, 05:05 PM
"Do you think my lawn will need to be cut weekly?"
me-"No, it doesnt look like it will grow alot. Its rather thin anyways. I think we can do Bi-weekly when were not in the peak growing season" (trying to save the lady a little money, and to be honest it probably didnt need to be mowed but once every three weeks come mid summer)
TWO WEEKS LATER
"I just wanted to let you know the fertilizer company was here today and sprayed the lawn, they say you cant go on it for 24 hours. Also, i think i will only be able to have you cut this last time. I just cant afford x amount for lawn care and a monthly fert app on top of that"
me-"..........ok"

TJLANDS
06-14-2011, 05:29 PM
Can you come look at my lawn.
Since your guys aerated on monday there seems to be goose dropping all over
what can we do about it?

All_Toro_4ME
06-14-2011, 05:38 PM
Topsites, I had one that called me, telling me that he was on the road (a salesman), and that his wife didn't have any money at the house, but he would be home the weekend and would personally bring the money by the house, if I'd just go ahead and mow.

Well, I mowed, and the weekend came and went with him a no-show. I drove by the house the next week, and they had packed up and moved. I realized then it was more than likely a rental (told me they owned the house when I mowed the first time), and the yard had to be mowed to get their deposit back. Stupid on my part.

Always always always check the addy on the county assessor site. It will tell who the owner is. If it matches the name of the person that called you, then they are the owners. If it doesn't, its a rental, regardless of what they tell you. Rentals are bad news. I've been burned by them before and I try to be very cautious when taking on new accts.

supercuts
07-09-2011, 08:52 AM
just had a call this morning, "hi mark, we've used you for many years now and have been very happy, but for the 2nd time you've done something that has made us very upset. If you put down a pestiside again, im going to have to find someone else to take care of our lawn."

funny thing is we do not offer any pestiside applications AT ALL! So i had to call him and tell him to read the name of the company on the little yellow sign and find out why they are treating his lawn and have THEM stop.

VTLC2006
08-16-2011, 02:31 AM
Customer- "Can you give me an estimate to cut my son's lawn."

Me- (after I looked at his property) Yes it is going to be $40 a week.

Customer- " Wow! That's alot, you only charge me $30."

Me- "Yes. His property is bigger."


Different Customer ( if you can believe it )


Customer- "Why are the leaves falling from the trees? It's summer..."