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irrig8r
07-26-2012, 06:17 PM
A friend and colleague passed away last week.

Totally unexpected.

He was only 51, and seemed to lead a charmed life. Successful in business. Won awards for his landscaping projects. Volunteered at his daughter's school and in the local and state trade organizations.

He was the perfect host and grillmaster and participated in a lot of outdoor activities. And the kind of guy that would make anyone feel at ease and consider him one of their best friends... and was sincere about it.

I hired him as a sub to do decks and fences when I was doing full landscape jobs over 20 years ago and that's how we met. I taught his crew all about irrigation when he added to his license and made a transition from mostly outdoor construction to include irrigation and landscaping maybe 10 years ago.

Meanwhile, we shared a love of live music, good food and good beer and went to a few concerts together. He had big Super Bowl parties and a lot of other celebrations at his house. Spent a long relaxing weekend at his lake house a couple of years ago.

And now he's just gone.... leaving a lot of us second guessing ourselves, wondering if there was anything we could have done.

I guess sometimes looking at a life from the outside looking in we see things a lot differently than they do from the inside looking out. Especially when they are in pain.

I think depression must cloud judgment and makes things seem more hopeless...

So, just a reminder... hold your loved ones close. Let them know how much they mean to you.

Don't be stingy with hugs.

And offering a helping hand or a kind word just might make a change somebody's day... or save their life.

Wet_Boots
07-26-2012, 06:35 PM
Bummer. :(

RussellB
07-26-2012, 06:36 PM
condolences. Sounds like you lost a great friend.

Belgium
07-26-2012, 06:42 PM
My condolences. Only thing you can do is enjoy life to the fullest, every day of it and keep remembering the loved ones that we lost.
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1idejim
07-26-2012, 07:42 PM
we lost a family member last thursday in an auto accident, 37 with 2 daughters. good guy that i will miss.

my condolences gregg.

Mike Leary
07-26-2012, 08:12 PM
At our age, we start losing them more and more. Pisses me off when they're younger than we are; does not seem fair. What do you do? I guess, cry, laugh and think about the good times. Best to Gregg and Jim; it's happened to me more times than I care to think about, but I still remember the fallen, fondly, with a tear and a chuckle. :clapping:

DEPENDABLE LANDSCAPING
07-26-2012, 08:15 PM
Sincerely sorry to hear of your friend.
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irrig8r
07-26-2012, 08:29 PM
we lost a family member last thursday in an auto accident, 37 with 2 daughters. good guy that i will miss.

my condolences gregg.

Too young for that. My condolences to you also.

irrig8r
07-26-2012, 08:33 PM
At our age, we start losing them more and more. Pisses me off when they're younger than we are; does not seem fair. What do you do? I guess, cry, laugh and think about the good times. Best to Gregg and Jim; it's happened to me more times than I care to think about, but I still remember the fallen, fondly, with a tear and a chuckle. :clapping:

These days it's mostly customers of many years that are passing. One who became a good friend earlier this year of lung cancer.

My mom reads the obits every day... so she points out anyone she thinks I might know.

Have to remind myself from time to time that none of us get out of here alive. Remembering the good times helps ease the pain.

irrig8r
07-26-2012, 08:36 PM
condolences. Sounds like you lost a great friend.

He was a good man and a good friend. So hard to see his family in pain... wife, three daughters, one who is getting married in 3 weeks.

I have a feeling there might be 200+ people at tomorrow's memorial.

DanaMac
07-26-2012, 08:39 PM
Sorry to hear Gregg. Coincidentally, I just got home from a funeral/memorial. 22 year old son of a friend of mine, who owns a great landscape company. Kid passed in his sleep last week. No idea what caused it. He too, was a musician, played the stand up bass. Just got back from playing in Santa Cruz, at a few bars and on the streets. Very loved kid by all the people there to celebrate his life today.

irrig8r
07-26-2012, 08:39 PM
Sincerely sorry to hear of your friend.
Posted via Mobile Device

Thank you.

Dripit good
07-26-2012, 08:45 PM
A friend and colleague passed away last week.

Totally unexpected.

And now he's just gone.... leaving a lot of us second guessing ourselves, wondering if there was anything we could have done.

I think depression must cloud judgment and makes things seem more hopeless...

There's nothing you could have done. You can't see a troubled soul.

So sorry for your loss.

irrig8r
07-26-2012, 09:01 PM
So sorry to hear about your friend's son Dana. Especially tragic when anyone dies so young.
Was he in a band? Santa Cruz, CA?

irrig8r
07-26-2012, 09:02 PM
There's nothing you could have done. You can't see a troubled soul.

So sorry for your loss.

Thanks. In my head I know you're right. In my heart... still trying to make sense of it.

Dripit good
07-26-2012, 09:09 PM
... still trying to make sense of it.

You can't.

Focus only on the dash.

DanaMac
07-26-2012, 09:18 PM
So sorry to hear about your friend's son Dana. Especially tragic when anyone dies so young.
Was he in a band? Santa Cruz, CA?

Yes, CA and yes in a band. Not sure if it was an actual real band, or just 3-4 guys jamming together as they got their ears wet. Sounds like they went on a little 6 month road trip playing street corners, local clubs, etc. I think he was in school to be a music engineer or something similar.

Mike Leary
07-26-2012, 09:19 PM
I lucked out last year when a friend of 45 years died. We were in Arizona, he was in Washington. Got a e-mail informing me, all I could do was open a Pacifico, sit in my chair and cry and remember him fondly. I don't do memorials or funerals, but I grieve in my own way.

DanaMac
07-26-2012, 09:28 PM
I don't do memorials or funerals, but I grieve in my own way.

I agree. Gotta do these things your own way. I only met the kid a handful of times, but I went in support of the parents. Pretty nice memorial, not depressing and somber. I can do those, but the old school dark depressing funerals, forget it.

Mike Leary
07-26-2012, 10:12 PM
I did a couple of records for a great piano player at Caribou Ranch in Nederland, Colorado in the eighties. I knew he had a drug habit that was different from mine, so what? He never exhibited any sort of depression/craziness; we spent countless hours, together, alone, working on his solo albums. I was back in the NW when I heard he'd committed suicide. Talk about being blindsided! He left a wife and a young child. I think that's what caused me to leave the music business. I don't listen to his records anymore, tho great, it's still too depressing after all these years.

cjohn2000
07-27-2012, 01:21 AM
So, just a reminder... hold your loved ones close. Let them know how much they mean to you.

Don't be stingy with hugs.

And offering a helping hand or a kind word just might make a change somebody's day... or save their life.
God knows ive put work ahead of family and friends. I think we get so comfortable in life and expect to wake up every day and be there tomorrow and then a friend dies and we realize how fragile life is. I remember my boss's grandma died last year and the funeral was during the middle of a work day and he called me while he was sitting in the church talking about a site I was at.:rolleyes:

txirrigation
07-27-2012, 03:51 PM
My Great Grandma lived until she was 99yr 11months and 28days. I visited her two weeks before she died and she told me she prayed everyday the lord would take her in her sleep.

She watched 3 of her kids die of old age, and outlived all of her friends. I pray everyday I beat my kids to the gates.

I do not live every day to the fullest, I live everyday so that if I die the next my family will not have a financial or ethical mess to clean up.

irrig8r
07-28-2012, 06:12 PM
You can't.

Focus only on the dash.

You're right of course. That was part of a story the pastor told...

It was a fine send off. Good video, good music, incredibly composed (mostly) family and friends sharing parts of his life with us. A few laughs and knowing nods. Estimates of somewhere between 250 and 500 people... depending on who you asked.

A few tearful moments, when his wife spoke, when his mother was introduced, and when I ran into people who I hadn't seen for a while who worked for him and a few other contractors who were close friends.

And the song brought tears too... one of my favorites that Jerry sung, played at the end...

"Black Muddy River"
Words by Robert Hunter; music by Jerry Garcia

When the last rose of summer pricks my finger
And the hot sun chills me to the bone
When I can't hear the song for the singer
And I can't tell my pillow from a stone

I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And sing me a song of my own
I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And sing me a song of my own

When the last bolt of sunshine hits the mountain
And the stars start to splatter in the sky
When the moon splits the southwest horizon
With the scream of an eagle on the fly

I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And listen to the ripples as they moan
I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And sing me a song of my own

Black muddy river
Roll on forever
I don't care how deep or wide
If you got another side
Roll muddy river
Roll muddy river
Black muddy river roll

When it seems like the night will last forever
And there's nothing left to do but count the years
When the strings of my heart start to sever
And stones fall from my eyes instead of tears

I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And dream me a dream of my own
I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And sing me a song of my own
And sing me a song of my own