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bobbygedd
01-23-2004, 09:07 PM
i was just takin a stroll down memory lane, and i thought of something that happened a few years back. my wife, who the lord blessed with everything, except a brain, was in charge of finances. i was working 70 hrs a week at the printshop, and running a landscaping business. we had several bank accounts, but for reasons i'll not get into, there was not always enough money in each account to serve its purpose. in other words, if you wrote out a check from account #1, and there was not enough money in the account to cover that check, you had to transfer money from account #2, so the check wouldn't bounce. well, in one year, she bounced so many checks, that i paid over $700 in bounced check fines. i put my foot down. that spring i made a new "policy". if she screwed up, and i was fined $30, she had to work with me for a day, to see how hard i worked, and why it was important to pay attention to what you're doing. first screw up occured in may. so, i had a job planting annuals, about 15 flats. i knew the ground there was rock hard. i left her there with a load of topsoil, 15 flats of annuals, and a itty bitty hand shovel. came back 5 hrs later, she definitely worked her butt off. she stayed on top of things till fall, and then bounced 2 checks in one week. well, a rakin we went. dropped her off at a house, and since she couldn't handle a backpack blower, she got a rake, and a garbage can, and a bottle of spring water. when i returned, she was in tears. that was 4 yrs ago, and she hasn't bounced a check since. all of my friends, including the guy that was helping me out, said this was very wrong of me. my point was to show her how hard i worked for my money, and to make her understand that being negligent and causing me to pay fines, meant that i worked for nothing. opinions?

HOMER
01-23-2004, 09:12 PM
I guess you taught her a lesson!

Still married?

nelbuts
01-23-2004, 09:17 PM
You know bobby that was not too bad. It would be great for the kids when they are younger. Now here is the only problem I have with what you did.

If I had done that I would not be getting any (sleep):p for two weeks. Now I don't know about you but I sure as heck want my sleep. So here is what I did. She had her own checkbook. Then we had one for the both of us and one for the business. She could put $400 per month of her check into her account. The rest went to the mutual account. That is where all bills, food, etc. was paid. She had her own deal and was happy and no bounced checks. That was about 17 years ago.


LIKE I SAID I LOVE MY SLEEP!

mower_babe
01-23-2004, 09:19 PM
I don't think it was wrong. When explanations don't cover it, you have to step it up. I think most are going to think that it was chauvenistic of you, but I don't see it as a gender issue. At least now, maybe she understands the value of a dollar and you two can work on your financial goal together.

olderthandirt
01-23-2004, 09:37 PM
You screwed up bobby and I'll tell you why. If she bounced enough checks to cost you $700 in fees its apparent she does not quite get the concept of a dollar. And in your wisdom to correct the problem you had her work 2 days, Whats wrong with you man? if she has no concept of how hard you work and she does not understand the concept of a dollar why is still not working? I would of had mine working at least a month , then explain thats how hard and long I have to work to cover her 1 screw up and since she made a few more, oh the thought of the free labor and the fact that I could watch her doing manual labor heck I would screw up the check book myself just to watch.

Mac

pjslawncare/landscap
01-23-2004, 09:56 PM
Well, did it work? then that was good. My wife did the same thing with our joint account. First time I bitched about it. Happend again, I bitched louder. Third and final time I closed account. I would have put her to work but she works already (for insurance) and aint worth a crap for this stuff anyhow. Now she has her own account and problem is all hers. She watches much closer now. Works for me.

Sauls1686
01-23-2004, 10:06 PM
ill keep ur story in mind when i get married.

walker-talker
01-23-2004, 10:14 PM
Personally, I think it's a keen idea.

bobbygedd
01-23-2004, 10:20 PM
oh, you should have heard the cr@p i took from my own friends, "that's spousal abuse, those are grounds for divorce," all kinds of stuff. i couldn't believe my ears. it wasn't abusive when i was working like a slave, and she was bouncing checks cus, "o no, i forgot to transfer...."

fcl01
01-23-2004, 10:31 PM
Originally posted by nelbuts
You know bobby that was not too bad. It would be great for the kids when they are younger. Now here is the only problem I have with what you did.

If I had done that I would not be getting any (sleep):p for two weeks. Now I don't know about you but I sure as heck want my sleep. So here is what I did. She had her own checkbook. Then we had one for the both of us and one for the business. She could put $400 per month of her check into her account. The rest went to the mutual account. That is where all bills, food, etc. was paid. She had her own deal and was happy and no bounced checks. That was about 17 years ago.


LIKE I SAID I LOVE MY SLEEP!



I gave up on (sleep):( :( a long time ago. Make her work!!!

PLI1
01-23-2004, 10:46 PM
I handle all the finances because I'm completely anal about it. If there is 2 cents missing, I'll notice and I wont stop til I find out where it went. I guess I'm that way because when I first started out in business I really had to work to keep my head above water. Also, growing up my parents had no $ and had to watch how they spent it. I also will not stand for my hard earned $ to go down the tube. If we don't need something, we don't buy it.
Also guys, keep an eye on your wifes credit cards. I have a couple of freinds whos wives rung up 20,000 and 80,000 bucks on credit cards without their knowledge. I just don't get it, but it happened. Dont let this happen to you!! Not all wives are like this, but be sure you know whats goin on.

J&R
01-23-2004, 11:01 PM
I think it would be best to never let have a check book after the first bad check.

lee b
01-23-2004, 11:13 PM
My wife and I have always had seperate checking accounts. No confusion, no arguments, no bounced checks because one didn't know how much the other had spent. Also we have 1 credit card, only used about 4 or 5 times a year or so, never used except to order things via the web or phone, never paid a dime in interest. Each of us are responsible for certain bills, wife pays for groceries, electricity, gas for her truck and such and then I have other bills to pay. Keeps everything simple and you know what to expect every month.

battags
01-23-2004, 11:19 PM
Originally posted by bobbygedd
wife/manual labor/opinions

Wife= Got one
Manual Labor= Do it

Wife + Manual Labor=Got one who don't do it!


B

Gr grass n Hi tides
01-23-2004, 11:21 PM
I think was a great way to illustrate. Everyone should appreciate what their other half does. Contrary to some opinion, I'll bet it went a long way to help/prevent things on a lot of different levels.

TRex
01-23-2004, 11:25 PM
bobby,

I just told told my wife your story because she just happened to bounce a check because she put an imaginary $500 dollars in the checking acount while balancing it a few weeks ago. Well we did not go over much because we usually leave that much play in the account. I would have made her do the same as hafd your wife do except I gave her the option to become tough and charge at the bank till they kindly give us the $40 fee back. Sure enough she called me while I was on my way home and told me she got the money back and every thing was taken care of. She is normaly a big softy and gets eaten alive with people when tring to get anything resolved, so she did what she needed to and either way she was going to get smarter and stronger.

Good Thread

pcnservices
01-23-2004, 11:45 PM
Originally posted by bobbygedd
my wife, who the lord blessed with everything, except a brain,

Ouch Bobby :(
So what happened to her brain? Did your honor roll children inherit it?
Is that why you still have all of yours?;)

lawnman_scott
01-24-2004, 02:19 AM
Originally posted by bobbygedd
i was just takin a stroll down memory lane, and i thought of something that happened a few years back. my wife, who the lord blessed with everything, except a brain, was in charge of finances. i was working 70 hrs a week at the printshop, and running a landscaping business. we had several bank accounts, but for reasons i'll not get into, there was not always enough money in each account to serve its purpose. in other words, if you wrote out a check from account #1, and there was not enough money in the account to cover that check, you had to transfer money from account #2, so the check wouldn't bounce. well, in one year, she bounced so many checks, that i paid over $700 in bounced check fines. i put my foot down. that spring i made a new "policy". if she screwed up, and i was fined $30, she had to work with me for a day, to see how hard i worked, and why it was important to pay attention to what you're doing. first screw up occured in may. so, i had a job planting annuals, about 15 flats. i knew the ground there was rock hard. i left her there with a load of topsoil, 15 flats of annuals, and a itty bitty hand shovel. came back 5 hrs later, she definitely worked her butt off. she stayed on top of things till fall, and then bounced 2 checks in one week. well, a rakin we went. dropped her off at a house, and since she couldn't handle a backpack blower, she got a rake, and a garbage can, and a bottle of spring water. when i returned, she was in tears. that was 4 yrs ago, and she hasn't bounced a check since. all of my friends, including the guy that was helping me out, said this was very wrong of me. my point was to show her how hard i worked for my money, and to make her understand that being negligent and causing me to pay fines, meant that i worked for nothing. opinions?

You once stated you were worried about making enough doing this full time, but i said you have common sence. I say it again, book smarts will only take you so far. This is another example, dont worry about a thing, you will be fine, and I will bet it will be a great year for you

Tommy D
01-24-2004, 02:38 AM
Bobbygedd, I cant believe it! I agree with you that was a brilliant idea!

bobbygedd
01-24-2004, 10:23 AM
lawnman scott, thanks again for the encouragement. tommy, brilliant , i'm not so sure, but i had to do something, or she woulda sent me to the poorhouse. there is no way i could understand how someone had so little responsibility, and couldn't remember to make a simple bank transaction. let's see....there is only $500 in the account, i wrote a check for $650, that means i'm short $150.........duh! it's not like we didn't have the money, it was just spread out over 5 bank accounts.

Charles
01-24-2004, 10:34 AM
Bobby, you must have one of those old fashion women. I got one of those new age women libbers. Whatever you tell her to do she does the opposite. Cant make her do anything. Always throwing in the bobbit deal....
But she is very intelligent and can keep her check book balanced(I keep my own and its never over but its never accurate LOL)

walker-talker
01-24-2004, 11:32 AM
Originally posted by PLI1
I have a couple of freinds whos wives rung up 20,000 and 80,000 bucks on credit cards without their knowledge. How in the world could a man's spouse could spend this kind of money and not have knowledge about it? I have never been married or even lived with a girl, but that kind of money spent on personal belongings would be hard to hide.......then again, a $5 purse and a $500 purse would probably look the same to me...lol

Gr grass n Hi tides
01-24-2004, 11:48 AM
Originally posted by walker-talker
How in the world could a man's spouse could spend this kind of money and not have knowledge about it? I have never been married or even lived with a girl, but that kind of money spent on personal belongings would be hard to hide.......then again, a $5 purse and a $500 purse would probably look the same to me...lol

I don't have any personal experience on the order of 20K - 80K, but I can say that it's very easy for things to get out of hand when the spouse has "control" and you trust that person. The "amount" attached to the problem is relative.

burnandreturn
01-24-2004, 12:03 PM
"I don't have any personal experience on the order of 20K - 80K, but I can say that it's very easy for things to get out of hand when the spouse has "control" and you trust that person. The "amount" attached to the problem is relative"

Amen to those words. I've been down that road and it's amazing how fast it can happen.

Lux Lawn
01-24-2004, 03:32 PM
My wife has her account I have my accounts she pays her bills I pay my bills we have never had a fight about money only been married a little over 2 years.Wife never new how much I had in my savings accounts untill last month when she quilted me into telling her then wondered why she didn't get the diamond earings she wanted for X-MAS.Birthday is in Feb. I better get them soon.