View Full Version : All time most disgusting request from a custormer

Kelly's Landscaping
03-03-2004, 11:00 AM
This morning around 8 my partner took a call from a customer we signed up at the end of last season and still haven't done work for her yet. She asked us to remove a dead deer from her property Lou then called me to tell me and I of course said find the proper agency as I am not doing it. Well an hour later he calls to tell me the town will pick it up if itís at the curb I say and what does that mean. And he replies that the deer died on Monday its now Wednesday shes been fighting with the town since then and she asked if we could drag it and he apparently said yes. So I am now waiting on him to tell me what it was like since I had said no to him and his brother wanted us to hire him again I figure he just got his first work of the season and sent them both. Next issue what the hell would you charge for something like dragging a 3 day old dead deer 75 feet up a hill to the curb if anything or being this early in the season would you do it knowing you probably have this customer for life now?

03-03-2004, 11:10 AM
I have done several odd requests for a token fee. This shouldn't take long, just get it on a tarp and drag. You're right you may get a customer for life. That's not always a good thing.

03-03-2004, 11:18 AM
kelly, check it out, it's only been dead 3 days. i'd drag the thing to the curb and charge a one hour labor fee. i have a 1 hr minimum labor fee. if u need me to do something stupid, and it takes less than an hour, you pay for the entire hour. a customer called the other day. he's SO LAZY, a plastic bag with garbage in it got ripped by an animal, and the wind blew all the garbage all over the yard. he called me to pick it up. i was there 25 minutes, charged a one hour labor fee. i told him he should try actually putting the bags out by the curb every so often, and the garbage man will take them. he asks if i can come on tuesday night to drag the garbage out to the curb. i said of course. i went last night, spent less than 5 min dragging the cans and bags to the curb. i charged an additional one hour fee. in total i charged $90 to pick up trash, and bring to curb. entire job including drive time was less than an hour. i'll take all the cr@p work they care to give me, as long as it's not a health hazard.

03-03-2004, 11:27 AM
Matthew, gut it out and cook it, free lunch for the crew


03-03-2004, 11:29 AM
Take some rope and a mower over there. Tie it to the mower and pull the thing to the street. Can't be that difficult.

03-03-2004, 11:43 AM
I don't understand the problem.

people drag deer all the time around here and lots of times it's for further than 75 feet.


03-03-2004, 12:19 PM
I'd do it just to score points with the customer. Dead animals are no big beal to me. I've hunted and traps most of my life. I'm sure the weather is still kind of cool there so it shouldn't stink to bad. Just put in a pair of gloves grab a leg and drag it to the road. Customer for life!

If it were still winter I might load it up in the truck and dump it in one of the field I hunt. Wait for the coyotes to come and eat. Shoot the coyote. Skin it and sell it to the fur buyer and make $30 off it. And have some fun in the process.

03-03-2004, 12:41 PM
Just quarter up the deer and freeze it for some summer steaks! Nothing like good aged venison! HAHAHA

Camelot Gardens Uk
03-03-2004, 01:11 PM
Got a phone call last season from our largest site to see if we had "the gun" on board. I turned to my mate (UK assistant not the wife or SO) and asked him, he said mowers/strimmers but no gun.

Went to site to see what was up, turned out to be a dead fox in the barn, very smelly/maggots! took it out and gave it a good funeral. Well after all who can dig a good hole but a gardner.

03-03-2004, 01:24 PM
That's just nasty! How much would I charge? NOTHING! I wouldn't do it! I am not that desperate for money. You couldn't pay me enough! My friend hit a deer once and killed it instantly. I was following him and I stopped and helped him move it out of the road. Even freshly killed it smelled to high heaven. I almost puked from the smell on my hands. There's no way I'd ever do that again. I'd rather mow lawns for 8 hours than get anywhere near a 3 day old dead deer!

As for what was the most disgusting thing we were ever asked to do; One chinese lady had her elderly Dad living with her. She asked us to haul away a bag of "debris" for her that was sitting over near her driveway. "No problem," I say. One little bag. She hardly ever asks for anything extra. Well, we can't dispose plastic bags at the yard debris recycling place so we always just empty bags into the back of our truck and guess what! There was some yard debris there but mixed in were about 4 used cathiter (sp?) bags with the cathider, tube, and full bag of urine. These were apparently from the elderly man who lived there. NASTY! I couldn't even believe she asked us to do that. Thankfully, I wasn't there. I was pruning around the corner. My foreman had to deal with that one. And he wasn't too happy about it. We didn't end up hauling it off, obviously.

03-03-2004, 02:18 PM
I did the deer carcas thing last year. Not fun.

Just make a loop around legs with tie down and pull.

Free of charge.

Richard Martin
03-03-2004, 03:00 PM
I guess it all depends on what a 3 days dead deer smells like where you live. They start whopping after 1 day here and by the 3rd day you can't get within 100 yards of them. Then you have the Turkey Buzzards picking at them , black flies and who knows what else. No thank you, I'll pass on that job.

If it's starting to stink and you really want to move it take some lime with you and spread it liberally on the carcass. That should supress the stink some. Ugh!

03-03-2004, 03:44 PM
Had this friend (city slicker) who had a house "in the country" with a dead deer on the lawn. Got hit by a car and decided the middle of the lawn was where to drop. They didn't know who to ask, but fireman who also does landscaping should know, right? Well, I got there about 2 weeks after this think died and the buzzards and various animals had eaten most of it, but there sure was enough to make me sick. I asked a friend who was working a few miles away to help me w/ it. Disgusting! damn thing was all open & falling apart. We just dragged it into the woods and left it. Made major points with these people and my friend, well, we're STILL friends. He does remind me every now and then about "that deer".

broken leg
03-03-2004, 04:12 PM
Did one two years ago from customers back yard. It was about two weeks old and real ripe. Charged $185.00 to haul off and bury. Pulled up on trailer took back to my friends place and buried it in back of compost pile. Never touched the deer used slip knock on leg and took tractor to push compost over it. Easy money. Broke down bill into pickup time and travel time and time to bury animal.

Jason Pallas
03-03-2004, 06:33 PM
"bout 20 years ago - when I was a young lad pushin lawns with a 21" Lawnboy, I had a customer kick open the door of her house and yell out to me to get my attention. I walk over to see her sitting on a camping potty in her front living room - taking a DUMP while watching wheel of fortune.
She asked me "when I'm done, can you or your helper help me get up off this potty?"
I just walked away in shock - something I didn't need to see, hear or smell! It's funny now - but I never liked to get the money from her after we cut her lawn - always had a vision of dookie smeared hands reachin' into her house smock to get the money to pay me. Ahhh the things I did to build this business.

That's a true story - no BS.

03-03-2004, 06:41 PM
That makes the dead deer look like warm apple pie.

03-03-2004, 06:52 PM
If you have workers ask them how much one of them would do it for tell the people that amount cash and have a guy go on his own time do it and collect. He'll be happy you'll be happy most importantly the customer will be happy also. Give your help an early bonus. Or you could just keep going over it with the mower and mulch it or bag it.

Lawn Dog2001
03-03-2004, 06:54 PM
I am totally with Jim Lewis on this one. Nowhere on any of my flyers does it say "I will do any nasty thing you ask to make a buck". I would have told them no with no remorse what so ever.

I probably get at least one customer a year that will ask if we can clean up their dog crap for a fee each time we come. Whats the answer? Absolutley not! And as a matter of fact if its not picked up before we get there we wont even mow it!

It would irk me if someone asked me to remove a dead deer. What does landscaping and lawn care have to do with animal disposal. Tell her to call to call her accountant and ask him to do it.

03-03-2004, 06:57 PM
jason that's worst than one of my stories. did that really happen?

03-03-2004, 08:25 PM
Obviously not a lot of farm boys here. We farmers learn to deal with dead animals, and some of them aren't found the day they kick the bucket, sometimes not even the same week. Buzzards? Stink? Oh, yeah.

If the animal isn't too ripe, you call the local rendering plant to come get the carcass. It gets boiled down to dog food, or fertilizer, or whatever. The common term for the truck that comes is the "deadwagon."

We had an outfit in this area that had a long-time driver with a reputation for not being fazed by anything. His well-known routine was to drive up to an animal no one else could stand to be within 100 feet of, look at his watch, announce, "Hey, it's time for lunch break." He would then get his sack lunch out of the truck, and proceed to plant his butt on the bloated carcass and eat his sandwich.


Kelly's Landscaping
03-03-2004, 08:29 PM
Well the dreams of an intact deer were shattered Lou and his brother got there and what ever killed it ate a lot of it so the main part (yes there were many parts) weighed about 30-40 pounds. There insides were all over the place and they had to round all that up he said it didnít really smell but ill take his word on that. Took them about 5 mins and they were very happy they had rubber gloves. When they were done he walked up to the door and said I have no idea what to charge you for that and they handed him 60 dollars to split with his brother. I didnít think twice about letting them keep it all better them then me. I wanted to turn the job down before I even knew the deer was in pieces thatís just plain rude.

lee b
03-03-2004, 08:48 PM
Originally posted by mbricker
Obviously not a lot of farm boys here. We farmers learn to deal with dead animals, and some of them aren't found the day they kick the bucket, sometimes not even the same week. Buzzards? Stink? Oh, yeah.

I agree, never realized how wimpy city boys really are. You really haven't lived until you've pulled a dead calf, {that's been dead a while}, piece by putrid piece outa his mama.

matthew horner
03-03-2004, 08:59 PM
I did'nt know that there were this many yuppies on this site. I'm more disgusted by pansies than by a dead twig eating deer. Go rent a john wayne movie and watch half of it and fall asleep from working, not from crying about what you won't do.

Lawn Dog2001
03-03-2004, 09:25 PM
What does this have to do with anything? It doesnt matter if you are squimish or not. If I found a dead deer on my property I would call the game commision, not my Landscaper!

03-03-2004, 09:34 PM
ok, i'll top it. at my wedding, my wife requested that i dance with her mother. i'd consider dragging the dead deer, with my teeth, 75 yards uphill, in the snow, naked, a walk in the park compared to that.

03-03-2004, 09:38 PM
Give me a break drag it home gut skin an cook it.Call mr outspoken ted nugent he would be glad to take it lol.

03-04-2004, 01:33 AM
3 days dead is just starting to marinate!


Richard Martin
03-04-2004, 06:18 AM
Originally posted by bobbygedd
ok, i'll top it. at my wedding, my wife requested that i dance with her mother. i'd consider dragging the dead deer, with my teeth, 75 yards uphill, in the snow, naked, a walk in the park compared to that.

Bobby, this almost made me hurl.

03-04-2004, 07:32 AM
I was cutting this couple's yard in the summer last year when I noticed a racoon sitting in th middle of the yard. The is a very large home way back in the woods...it always creeps me out and the people who live there are in the mid 80s or so. The old man never remembers me and always gets scared when I knock on the door...anyways....I see this racoon and after a few passes on the mower I noticed it hadn't moved so I naturally assumed it was dead. As I get closer I notice that its head has been cleanly cut off and the body is no where to be found. I can still remember the ungodly smell of rotting flesh in the July afternoon sun!

Gabriel Turf
03-04-2004, 08:45 AM
Here is what you do for the deer so that you won't get all dirty:

1) Let the deer sit a few more days to soften him up a bit.
2) Put your mulch kit on and a set of sharp double gators.
3) Run your Z over him wide open and mulch that mutha*&@%

The guys on here swear that nothing but a fine mist will come out of your discharge chute when you run this deck combination.

Try it and let us know how it works out!:p

Gabriel Turf
03-04-2004, 08:47 AM
Originally posted by jajwrigh
As I get closer I notice that its head has been cleanly cut off and the body is no where to be found. I can still remember the ungodly smell of rotting flesh in the July afternoon sun!

I bet that old man had him a nice pot of racoon head stew for breakfast!:eek:

03-04-2004, 08:59 AM
it was just a dead dear and it was a paying job whats the problem:cry:

03-04-2004, 09:10 AM
it was on their grounds, i would consider it part of grounds maintenance.

03-04-2004, 09:32 AM
Whats the big deal. Geez, Id rather move a 3 day dead deer than weedwack dog crap in my face. Wanna see some nasty stuff? Come on my garbage route after a week of 90+ degree weather. I can hear the maggots moving when I open the lid.
Suck it up buttercup.
I had to kill a deer that was hit by a car on my property. Its different killing a deer fair and square in the woods, Man but having to shoot one thats alive and cant move kinda sucked. I will say, The coyotes or whatever had that thing into a skeleton in 2 days, And after the 2nd day, someone wanted dog bones, because the whole skeleton was gone over night.
Customers that see you go out of your way, or do something that you normally dont do(deer pulling). Will remember that for a long time.
I dont care much for cats, but when I was 12 I had to get one out of a tree at one of my accounts. Ever since the ol' lady sent me $25 bucks every christmas
I will say from experience if that deers been their for a long time......dont grab a leg. And make sure no kids see this happen.

Gabriel Turf
03-04-2004, 09:43 AM
Originally posted by DoubleCutter
Customers that see you go out of your way, or do something that you normally dont do(deer pulling). Will remember that for a long time.

Deer pulling! Good one. Is that like tractor pulling? Sounds like a sporting event involving sled dogs and a rotted deer carcass.
Or, maybe a big truck and a heavy duty chain.
Have you thought about contacting the X-games? Rock climbing with a deer carcass on your back? Bungy jumping with bambi?
You guys kill me....wait, mower races pulling deer carcasses??

03-04-2004, 10:38 AM
Hi all,

Kelly's , next time you get a request like that give me a holler. Im in west haven. Always thought about moving into milford. Seems like a good market there. :D :D :D

Critical Care
03-04-2004, 04:18 PM
Perhaps one thing to consider before you start doing these dirty roust-about jobs is your reputation as a professional landscaper or lawn maintenance individual, and not that of a garbage collector.

Personally, I like being known for my landscaping abilities. I wouldn't want word of mouth getting around that I was a professional at hauling off gargage, or dead carcasses.

03-05-2004, 06:20 PM
I had to send a couple guys out to do that same thing one time. I told them to pull it head first being that it would slide easier. Basically pull it the way the hair is lying. An hour goes by so I call them up and ask "Whats taking so long?" He replies "We are dragging it by the head like you said, but we keep getting further and further from the curb." :laugh:

The above is just a variation of a joke I heard awhile back.

Jason Pallas
03-06-2004, 01:28 AM
Bobby - yeah , I swear on my daughter's life - that really happened to me. True story. To this day, we'll usually take a new guy or two aside each year and ... just as we're getting ready to leave an account, I'll say .... Oh , hey Bob, I forgot, the customer asked me if you could help her get up off the toliet, she's got one of those camping potties in her front room.....

They'll usually be half way to to the front door before it sinks in and they turn around with the dammedest look. Just a little homage to the incident some 20 years ago.

Big M LawnnSnow
03-06-2004, 05:22 AM
When I said I'd mow your lawn for 45 bucks I meant 45 dollars,
The furry kind had nothing to do with this deal.

03-06-2004, 11:34 AM
Hey sodzilla, It's nice to see a fellow hunter and trapper on here. We sure are in the right business - work in the summer trap in the winter. Ain't life great!

03-06-2004, 12:09 PM
yep-ive had to haul a deer out of a pool. it was a long and tricky task. the only good thing was that since it was under water, didnt decay much and the chlorine really cut down on smell....but wouldnt want to do it again.

03-06-2004, 01:39 PM
Originally posted by bobbygedd
ok, i'll top it. at my wedding, my wife requested that i dance with her mother. i'd consider dragging the dead deer, with my teeth, 75 yards uphill, in the snow, naked, a walk in the park compared to that. So did you?

03-06-2004, 03:02 PM
Had a guy ask for help as his 450 pound wife had fallen over in the restroom and he couldn't get her up. The three of us pulled and tugged for quite awhile as she was wedged ibetween the wall and toilet. Reach grab, pull, and try to get bits unstuck. Don't know which bits as it was just a large clump of quivering white flesh. Didn't really know she was actually naked till he thanked us for helping and apologized for us having to see his wife like that.

03-06-2004, 05:07 PM
why not get frankenscag's walk behind with the plow he made and just push it to the curb?? Or get a snow blower and just let the augers chop em up and spit it out.. Then charge $75 for a fertilizer application. <G>

03-06-2004, 05:27 PM
lawnman scott, she made two requests that night. #1=dance with her scarecrow mother. #2=stay sober. i thought for a moment, and it was like, that's like asking me to cut the lawn, but don't use no gas. how can i possibly do one without the other. so, 20 silver bullets later, i was like fred astair.

03-06-2004, 07:33 PM
The most disgusting request was can you lower your price.

03-06-2004, 08:51 PM
Three day dead dear 75 feet? Give me a break. Tell the old lady to have a nice day. Three days in your area means it is stiff. No big deal.

Kelly's Landscaping
03-06-2004, 09:37 PM
Well there are some real sick guys on this site and I am amused at how many would like to roll around in a carcass for the fun of it. I think you need to have limits on what you are willing to do scattered animal parts is not something I care to add to my services. It is probably very easy to slaughter pigs or cows in a slaughterhouse but there is no pay that would make me take on a job like that. Some people work in old folks homes part time and are paid 10-12 dollars an hour to wipe senior citizens butts I personally could not do this for even 1000 an hour if your one that can then great. I met a complete jackazz once who told me his thing was raw dives in case you donít know what that is thatís when your fixing the pipes in scuba on raw sewage lines he made 60 an hour is it worse then a deer yes but lets just say I have higher standards and leave it at that.

03-06-2004, 09:41 PM
Pickin up dead animals isnt a bad thing to do at all. Its just a fact of life and some need to learn to deal with it, its all part of property maintence, but it would be charged for in my book. No big deal for me.

03-08-2004, 12:55 PM
My offer still stands.

I would go the extra for a good customer. It would make them happy and in return the word of mouth would be invaluable. I don't think its sick to dispose of something that is a natural accurance. If anything it would be wise to want to dispose of something such as a dead deer. Now if it is you are someone who disposes of it, you decide. But like I said, if you run accross the problem again I would be more than glad to give you a hand. Not for kicks but to get my foot in the door. :D