I would rather list the things that do work because there's been stories making the round of certain "specialists" in my area charging upwards of $600 and the dang things are still tunneling nice as can be.
About here is when they call me, and they're none too happy.
You get that, normally, a $30 service call should take care of it.
The trick is knowing what to do, but I'm not entirely against the humor aspect.
How about it, just an idea.