Some people can handle the joking around but I don't think I would put the first paragraph in if it were me giving it to the client unless you have had good report with them and have a fun attitude. Although many or most people need that kind of paragraph to make them actually think that it is important to water their seed.
I would avoid putting in a schedule and how much to water as well. The weather is so much of a factor and depending on what time of year it is will determine how much and often to water. People always ask how much and how often they should water their newly planted sod, seed or shrubs. The first thing I tell them is that it depends on the weather and if its hot and sunny it will need more and cloudy and cool will need less. Also have to adjust the watering if it rains and how much it rains. So many variables to factor into the watering.
I tell people all the time like the way you have in the document about keeping it moist, not dry but sopping wet. Seems like that should be fairly easy to figure out for the average person.