Speaking of negative... Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says, "are you sure?"
A proton and a neutron walk into a bar.
The proton ask for a drinks and asks, "How much will that cost me sir?"
The bartender says $2.00.
The neutron asks for a drink as well and asks, "How much will that cost me sir?"
The bartender says to the neutron, "For you, no charge."