Here is a good one, true story.
Customer calls me before I started Rd 1 apps this year. Said "why are there so damn many weeds in my lawn, when I lived in Iowa, I only had to treat the lawn once a year and it was clean all year - pure KBG lawn!" I told him I have treated his lawn for 2 seasons now - when I first started the lawn was so full of weeds and in such bad shape it was a neighborhood eyesore. I went on to say the lawn looks 100% better now, in fact the guy's neighbors have come up to my truck asking for my biz card cause they liked how I had cleaned up this guy's lawn. He kind of mumbled something, then said "OK, why don't you come out and do 3 apps this year and we'll see how that goes, but I want to see less weeds. I said fine, I will do my best job. All the while thinking 'what is he talking about, his lawn looks really good???'
The punchline.............my customer is 85 years old and self proclaimed legally blind