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  #1  
Old 03-20-2014, 11:26 PM
BrandonG BrandonG is offline
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Postcard Ad

Can I get some critical feedback on this?

I want to have some printed off soon, and hoping to get this as good as I can.

One thing I am thinking is perhaps it looks a little cluttered?





http://postimg.org/image/6x1fnoybj/

http://postimg.org/image/qyquvd4u7/

I blocked out my phone number for privacy reasons.

BTW the dimensions are 4" x 6" or close to it.

Thanks.

Last edited by BrandonG; 03-20-2014 at 11:33 PM.
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  #2  
Old 03-24-2014, 12:43 PM
BrandonG BrandonG is offline
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Can I still get some advice? Or do those who have looked at the pictures think they are fine?

I want to have some printed off soon.

Thanks.
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  #3  
Old 03-24-2014, 12:52 PM
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OakNut OakNut is online now
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Maybe everyone is offended because you're knocking the people who run traditional equipment to earn a living?




Yes, it's cluttered. There's a lot of room for improvement, but the biggest thing is that there's no one, single element that "stands out". (Except maybe the $40)

It seems you want to focus on the "battery powered equipment" and being "green", but none of that comes across at a glance - at all.

Don't allow text so close to the edges - give it breathing room. If that means smaller text, so be it.


I wish I had more time...

Qualifier: I have background in design for print advertising.
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  #4  
Old 03-24-2014, 12:58 PM
BrandonG BrandonG is offline
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There's nothing wrong with taking another approach to an industry, even if its set in its ways...there's always room for niche ideas. And I'm certainly not going to be out "lowballing" everyone.

Thanks for the feedback.

You're right about how nothing stands out. I tried to cram a bunch of info in it.

I'll try to approach it from another perspective.

Thanks
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  #5  
Old 03-24-2014, 04:14 PM
BrandonG BrandonG is offline
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And by no means am I "knocking" those who use gas. Sure, we could all be a little more environmentally friendly, but that's not saying I look down on those using gas powered equipment. I'm not a tree hugger, if that's what you're saying. Never intended to offend anyone. Just trying to reach another market of clients.
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  #6  
Old 03-24-2014, 04:55 PM
BrandonG BrandonG is offline
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http://postimg.org/image/jjissdn17/

Here's an updated version.

Much simpler, less clutter, to the point.
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  #7  
Old 03-24-2014, 05:35 PM
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OakNut OakNut is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrandonG View Post
http://postimg.org/image/jjissdn17/

Here's an updated version.

Much simpler, less clutter, to the point.
The difference is night and day. Big improvement.
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  #8  
Old 03-24-2014, 07:27 PM
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RigglePLC RigglePLC is online now
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New version is better. However--you should emphasize the benefits to the customer. Quality cut, skilled operators, satisfaction guarantee. More. If you are just a bit more green than the next company--the people with a strong green interest will go with you--you don't have to be the greenest on the planet.
Make sure your promotional information will also appeal to those who are neutral or only slightly influenced by your highly-green approach. What if you have to switch to propane in a year or two? Or gasahol?

Also, I do not like the top line--your logo. Fuzzy and hard to read. You want big and bold--instantly readable at 60 mph in a driving rain. Scroll up and look at some of the major brand names of our generous sponsors. I think "OREGON" stands out the most. At most, show a violin on the right of your name.
Perhaps call yourself: "SYMPHONY LAWN"
I suggest use: "An eco-sensible lawn care company for a clean beautiful cut, every time".

Women (and men) are social. I suggest show an attractive (very satisfied) woman standing on a beautiful green lawn with her very cute kids and dogs.

Last edited by RigglePLC; 03-24-2014 at 07:36 PM. Reason: add
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  #9  
Old 03-24-2014, 08:35 PM
BrandonG BrandonG is offline
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lol. Thanks for all the advice.

I'm not sure about cheesy pictures of women and children. That's just not me.

I also want it to have a "local" feel. I immediately toss out ads if they look too professional. Just makes me feel they are too cold and distant.

When I have them printed, the resolution will be up to par. This is just rough-draft work.

About the "clean, beautiful cut, every time" thing - if I don't end up giving a clean, beautiful cut every single time, I could get sued, or someone might not want to pay. Not saying I do a bad job, I'm just trying to stay away from false advertisement.
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  #10  
Old 03-24-2014, 09:17 PM
BrandonG BrandonG is offline
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http://postimg.org/image/5o0fk2zrx/

Here's another draft. Hope that's an improvement.
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