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  #1  
Old 08-10-2002, 03:22 PM
lawnkid lawnkid is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Cleveland,Ohio
Posts: 935
Still deciding on my flyer

This is how my spring flyer goes:

D & M Lawn Service
###-###-####

My Address Euclid, Ohio *****


Hello neighbor,
spring will be here sooner than you think and D & M Lawn Service is here to provide you with all of your lawn service needs.

Why choose us over the competition?

1. Quick Response time- We will address all of your concerns or problems within a timely matter. This is the # 1 complaint of all contractors and we strive not to fall in this category.

2. We are your neighbors- We are limiting our services to the residents of E. ***th street only. We do not have to run all over town. Quality of our work will reflect on ouir neighborhood.
WE CARE!!

3. Equipment- Is of commercial quality.We maintain it on a regularly basis and not just when it breaks down. Blades are sharpened frequently to assure a quality cut every time. Fewer breakdowns equal your lawn being cut on time and manicured to your satisfaction.

4.Seasoned Employees- While we may appear young, we have several years of experience in the lawn service industry to provide you with quality service every time we service your property. you the customer will find us well groomed, mannered, and friendly.

5. #1 prices- Our prices are very competitive affording everyone a lawn looking like a million dollars. You owe it to yourself.

Call DANIEL today ###-###-####


What do you guys think? It has gotten me this far but it needs a new look for the fall. Guys, although my flyer may not be the best, I consider it copywrited so don't plagerize. Thanks. It could use all the help it needs.
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  #2  
Old 08-10-2002, 03:32 PM
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FrankenScagMachines FrankenScagMachines is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: IN
Posts: 4,740
Quote:
It could use all the help it needs.
How right you are friend
No, I'm just kidding. I've found one of the best methods is to have a friend or relative read it and they usually won't be afraid to critique it for you. Works for me.
Sometimes just the general grammer and writing / wording of it can make you seem unprofessional. I have been taking (in school last year) a writing class and I can tell you things that don't look right to me that you would never notice, or don't think matters. If you'd like, I will rewrite it for you real quick to just change the wording and if you don't like it you don't have to use it.
Eric
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7.5' SnoWay w/Pro-Wings call 812-371-6069
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  #3  
Old 08-11-2002, 10:12 PM
lawnkid lawnkid is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Cleveland,Ohio
Posts: 935
When I first started, my Dad looked over it and he thought it was well done for a kid my ae. I am looking at it right now and I'm making smal revisions. I was Also wondering if any of you guys have like pictures next to your company name. I got an e-mail the other day from this turfmarketing.com place and they sent me some cool things. do you think it would look better with a picture or without. I currntly just have my compnay name in a box and thats all.
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  #4  
Old 08-11-2002, 10:25 PM
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heygrassman heygrassman is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 509
Quote:
spring will be here sooner than you think and D & M Lawn Service is here to provide you with all of your lawn service needs.
Not a real good starter if this is going out now... today, if I am thinking of spring that makes me think winter is not too far a way and that does not make me feel all warm and fuzzy..tell me this about Jan and I may feel a little fuzzy

There is a lot to read there... good information but a lot. I would recommend consolidation. Use bold (and color if in the budget) to separate your thoughts to increase awareness. You have able 7 sec to get your point across before the pitch..

You have a good grasp on what it takes for 14.. I commend you!!

Good Luck..
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  #5  
Old 08-11-2002, 10:46 PM
wattsup wattsup is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: SPRINGFIELD, TN
Posts: 123
Take this to your high school english teacher. He/she will be able to help with any grammar problems (if there are any). This will help with your "first" impression. It may seem silly, but if your flyer is "off", some may view it as things to come. Such as inadequate work quality. Hey, they may not, but they might!
Good luck!
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  #6  
Old 08-12-2002, 12:13 AM
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Scag48 Scag48 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Marysville, WA
Posts: 6,061
The only thing that I would think about is the prices one. I would try to not get the point out that you are cheap, but since you said "competitive" instead of "cheap", that is a good thing. Just curious, what equipment are you running? You say you've got commercial stuff, I'm just curious to what you have. I'm about your age, and am always curious to see what other young guys are using.
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  #7  
Old 08-12-2002, 07:55 PM
lawnkid lawnkid is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Cleveland,Ohio
Posts: 935
Thanks for the replies guys. Currently i'm running a 1996 Scag 52" SWZ hydro( going to sell this fall if I find a good deal or else in the spring to get prbably a Great Dane Scamper), 1998 Homelite ST-285( had a Tanaka but I didn't like it so I sold it), 2002 Echo PB-603, 1997 MTD w/b edger, 2002 Stihl HS-45 hedge trimmer, some hand tools and some oter accesories like a sulky and a catcher. That's it. I'm buying a truck and trailer next summer to expand my business. My parents agreed to help pay for that.
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