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  #1  
Old 02-26-2007, 10:33 PM
DVS Hardscaper's Avatar
DVS Hardscaper DVS Hardscaper is online now
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: County Jail
Posts: 5,763
Applying for the substitute moderator position

Attention Lawnsite Management:

I am applying for the Lawnsite.com substitute moderator position that was posted on Monster.com.

My credentials are:

- I was hallway monitor in middle school
- I always stop to help old ladies cross the streets
- When driving, I am quick to call the police to report unsafe / discourteous drivers
- I cry at weddings, therefore I can be sensitive to others

I am willing to negotiate the pay.

Thank you for your serious consideration.
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"People Throw Rocks At Things That Shine"


My Equipment Brag List:

-1 CAT hat
-16 pairs of Hanes socks (the Heavy Duty model), many with holes.
-12 pairs of underwear, ranging from Joe Boxers to Jockey, many are in need of replacement. (no more photo requests please)
-hundreds of t-shirts. Some w/ grease stains, some torn & tattered.
-7 pairs of jeans, ranging from Levis to Polo to GAP. 1/2 of them have holes in 'em.
-1 belt
-1 pair of old worn out Nike shoes.
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  #2  
Old 02-26-2007, 11:34 PM
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1MajorTom 1MajorTom is online now
Senior Moderator
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 6,097
First you must pass a pre-screening test.
Answer these 3 questions:

1. When passing a motorist who is pulled over on the side of the road with a flat tire, you
a. slam on your brakes, pull over and change the tire.
b. swerve to hit the mud puddle hoping to cover the motorist in mud.
c. laugh and give him the finger as you speed on by.


2. When in line at the checkout counter at the grocery store, you see a guy behind you who has 2 items, and you have over 50 items. Express line is closed. do you
a. continue to put your items on the counter, that guy can wait.
b. turn around and tell the guy to go in front of you.
c. hold up the line by telling the cashier that you want to run back and pick up milk and bread too. when you return you picked up an additional 10 items.

3. you receive a daily afternoon newspaper, delivered to your doorstep each day by a 10 year old girl. do you give her a tip each week?
a. kids nowadays have too much money, she gets no tip from you.
b. most certainly, she is a sweet girl who does a good job.
c. rip her off of 50 cents, the cost of the newspaper, every chance you get.

Please note: this is just a PRE screening, be advised that the application you must submit will be long and extensive.
After that comes the lie detector test.
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  #3  
Old 02-27-2007, 12:20 AM
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LindblomRJ LindblomRJ is offline
LawnSite Silver Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Rapid City, South Dakota
Posts: 2,577
Didn't know there was a opening.

I am assuming there are some definitive correct answers?
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Spring Creek Lawn & Landscape

Veritas and æquitas
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  #4  
Old 02-27-2007, 09:22 AM
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carcrz carcrz is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Belton, MO (South KCMO)
Posts: 2,088
"B" all the way across.
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  #5  
Old 03-01-2007, 02:05 AM
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Sandgropher Sandgropher is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: down under
Posts: 919
Moderators job eh ?? put my name in the hat
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  #6  
Old 03-01-2007, 02:08 AM
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DaughtryLC DaughtryLC is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Smithfield,N.C.
Posts: 735
Doo I hav two bee abell to reed!!
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It Takes A Special Man To Be A DAD!
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  #7  
Old 03-01-2007, 02:23 AM
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Sandgropher Sandgropher is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: down under
Posts: 919
Yes you need basic reading skills i would say, see when you become a moderator they give you two buttons, one has the word "ban" on it and the other says "dont ban", get them mixed up and you upset your members
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  #8  
Old 03-01-2007, 06:45 AM
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Charles Charles is online now
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Posts: 7,073
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandgropher View Post
Yes you need basic reading skills i would say, see when you become a moderator they give you two buttons, one has the word "ban" on it and the other says "dont ban", get them mixed up and you upset your members
I just let my cat walk on the keyboard. The cat doesn't like Aussie's because somehow she saw them painting cats somewhere
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  #9  
Old 03-01-2007, 06:51 AM
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Sandgropher Sandgropher is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: down under
Posts: 919
I thought it was Americans that pay up to $15,000 to get the cats painted, my mistake
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  #10  
Old 03-01-2007, 07:02 AM
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Charles Charles is online now
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Posts: 7,073
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandgropher View Post
I thought it was Americans that pay up to $15,000 to get the cats painted, my mistake
ooops! My Bad. I will tell her that. Painting your cat is crazy btw
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