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  #31  
Old 05-12-2008, 12:57 PM
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LawnTamer LawnTamer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by larryinalabama View Post
How do Ya'll Utah fellers have 14 wives and cant drink Beer, it take me 12 pack a day just to survive 1
If I had 14 wives, I'd drink anti-freeze.

Just one wife here, and trust me, one is enough. Still tempted to drink anti-freeze on occasion.
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  #32  
Old 05-12-2008, 01:02 PM
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LawnTamer LawnTamer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dcgreenspro View Post
Servicing a local client of 3 years when all of a sudden I start getting cramps..shortly followed by heavy sweats. Now it's near 9 in the morning in late July. Was going to be a short day. I fight off the pain and ztr dies. Now I have to finish with 48 walkbehind. 1/2 hr later I feel like I am going to give birth right on the front lawn. Now, this property is surrounded in woods but my judgment seems to have gotten cloudy for some reason that day because what followed was one of the most horrific experiences...ever. I decide for some reason not to pinch a loaf in the woods because my brother had gotten caught last year doing the same thing. so, I load up and decide what I am going to do. I have three options. I could drive 2 minutes up the road to the golf course i worked at for 6 years and probably use any facility there. But, for some reason I decline. My parents house is 15 minutes and I think that is too far. So, I decide to use the wawa 10 minutes up the road. As I am heading there, I get stopped in traffic by a huge dumptruck pulling onto the road. I am now at this point physically holding my ass together. Catch the red light before the wawa. I am now at the poit oof screaming holding my ass together running in to the wawa. I get in the bathroom and push on the stall door AND SOMEONE IS IN THERE! I telll him he has thirty seconds or all hell is going to break loose..literally. I position my ass, for some reson, against the urinal and I feel better for some reason as long as I don't move. I can hear the finishing up and flushes ONLY TO SIT BACK DOWN AGAIN! Just then a guy comes running in to use the stall just like I did and I tell them there is a line. He laughs and for some reason or another, taps my stomach. Everything froze for a minute and then I lost it. I froze and just let loose. The guy who came in turned around and I decided to make a break for it. I have to make it through the wawa and to my truck and on my way out I knock over a State Trooper. I help him up and I guess the smell was following me and he could see in my eyes my panic. He tells me to get out of there and I am out and running to my truck when wave #2 hits me. I call my parents house and my little brother answers. I tell him to get lots of old towels and the hose out. Upon arrival he already speed dialed my parents who had me on speaker phone with my aunts and uncles and everyone was laughing so hard they sounded like they were going to puke. I spent the next two hours crappin like an animal.
I watched the news that night to make sure I wasn't on camera for simple asslt of a police officer. To this day, most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me...
man, I thought I had it bad. That is horrible. I feel for ya. Always carry TP in the truck, woods, and ditches are all fair game.
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Evergreen of Utah
Licensed applicators since 1990
Making the desert green one lawn at a time


"No freeman shall ever be debarred the use of arms."
-Thomas Jefferson

"Both oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of arms." - Aristotle
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  #33  
Old 05-12-2008, 01:17 PM
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whoopassonthebluegrass whoopassonthebluegrass is offline
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Location: Benson, UT
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LawnTamer View Post
Just one wife here, and trust me, one is enough. Still tempted to drink anti-freeze on occasion.
Haha. And that would be my sister. Poor guy...
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  #34  
Old 05-12-2008, 11:54 PM
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humble1 humble1 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: MA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thomsoutdoor View Post
I can relate to that. If I go out the night before I usually load up the next day with Immonia A-ds(sp) not to mention a lot of fiber. Working outside definitely has its disadvantages. I am surprised that several gas stations still allow me in.
hey pal stay out of my station you disrespected and defiled my toilet
__________________
1-Z-plugger
1-lawnsolutions aerator wb
1-Bluebird 48 tow behind
1-Z-Spray Int
1-T-3000
1-Permagreen Mag
4-backpackmistblowers
1-Four Wheeler with 50ft air blast mist sprayer
1-F-250 4x4 supercab p/u
1-E-250 van w-enclosed trailer
1-E-150 van
2-landscape trailers
a ton of backpack sprayers
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  #35  
Old 05-12-2008, 11:59 PM
Stillwater Stillwater is offline
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Location: The United States
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dcgreenspro View Post
Servicing a local client of 3 years when all of a sudden I start getting cramps..shortly followed by heavy sweats. Now it's near 9 in the morning in late July. Was going to be a short day. I fight off the pain and ztr dies. Now I have to finish with 48 walkbehind. 1/2 hr later I feel like I am going to give birth right on the front lawn. Now, this property is surrounded in woods but my judgment seems to have gotten cloudy for some reason that day because what followed was one of the most horrific experiences...ever. I decide for some reason not to pinch a loaf in the woods because my brother had gotten caught last year doing the same thing. so, I load up and decide what I am going to do. I have three options. I could drive 2 minutes up the road to the golf course i worked at for 6 years and probably use any facility there. But, for some reason I decline. My parents house is 15 minutes and I think that is too far. So, I decide to use the wawa 10 minutes up the road. As I am heading there, I get stopped in traffic by a huge dumptruck pulling onto the road. I am now at this point physically holding my ass together. Catch the red light before the wawa. I am now at the poit oof screaming holding my ass together running in to the wawa. I get in the bathroom and push on the stall door AND SOMEONE IS IN THERE! I telll him he has thirty seconds or all hell is going to break loose..literally. I position my ass, for some reson, against the urinal and I feel better for some reason as long as I don't move. I can hear the finishing up and flushes ONLY TO SIT BACK DOWN AGAIN! Just then a guy comes running in to use the stall just like I did and I tell them there is a line. He laughs and for some reason or another, taps my stomach. Everything froze for a minute and then I lost it. I froze and just let loose. The guy who came in turned around and I decided to make a break for it. I have to make it through the wawa and to my truck and on my way out I knock over a State Trooper. I help him up and I guess the smell was following me and he could see in my eyes my panic. He tells me to get out of there and I am out and running to my truck when wave #2 hits me. I call my parents house and my little brother answers. I tell him to get lots of old towels and the hose out. Upon arrival he already speed dialed my parents who had me on speaker phone with my aunts and uncles and everyone was laughing so hard they sounded like they were going to puke. I spent the next two hours crappin like an animal.
I watched the news that night to make sure I wasn't on camera for simple asslt of a police officer. To this day, most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me...


I would like to see someone top this absolute horror !
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  #36  
Old 05-13-2008, 12:00 AM
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humble1 humble1 is offline
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Location: MA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dcgreenspro View Post
Servicing a local client of 3 years when all of a sudden I start getting cramps..shortly followed by heavy sweats. Now it's near 9 in the morning in late July. Was going to be a short day. I fight off the pain and ztr dies. Now I have to finish with 48 walkbehind. 1/2 hr later I feel like I am going to give birth right on the front lawn. Now, this property is surrounded in woods but my judgment seems to have gotten cloudy for some reason that day because what followed was one of the most horrific experiences...ever. I decide for some reason not to pinch a loaf in the woods because my brother had gotten caught last year doing the same thing. so, I load up and decide what I am going to do. I have three options. I could drive 2 minutes up the road to the golf course i worked at for 6 years and probably use any facility there. But, for some reason I decline. My parents house is 15 minutes and I think that is too far. So, I decide to use the wawa 10 minutes up the road. As I am heading there, I get stopped in traffic by a huge dumptruck pulling onto the road. I am now at this point physically holding my ass together. Catch the red light before the wawa. I am now at the poit oof screaming holding my ass together running in to the wawa. I get in the bathroom and push on the stall door AND SOMEONE IS IN THERE! I telll him he has thirty seconds or all hell is going to break loose..literally. I position my ass, for some reson, against the urinal and I feel better for some reason as long as I don't move. I can hear the finishing up and flushes ONLY TO SIT BACK DOWN AGAIN! Just then a guy comes running in to use the stall just like I did and I tell them there is a line. He laughs and for some reason or another, taps my stomach. Everything froze for a minute and then I lost it. I froze and just let loose. The guy who came in turned around and I decided to make a break for it. I have to make it through the wawa and to my truck and on my way out I knock over a State Trooper. I help him up and I guess the smell was following me and he could see in my eyes my panic. He tells me to get out of there and I am out and running to my truck when wave #2 hits me. I call my parents house and my little brother answers. I tell him to get lots of old towels and the hose out. Upon arrival he already speed dialed my parents who had me on speaker phone with my aunts and uncles and everyone was laughing so hard they sounded like they were going to puke. I spent the next two hours crappin like an animal.
I watched the news that night to make sure I wasn't on camera for simple asslt of a police officer. To this day, most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me...
ah yeah you have me beat
__________________
1-Z-plugger
1-lawnsolutions aerator wb
1-Bluebird 48 tow behind
1-Z-Spray Int
1-T-3000
1-Permagreen Mag
4-backpackmistblowers
1-Four Wheeler with 50ft air blast mist sprayer
1-F-250 4x4 supercab p/u
1-E-250 van w-enclosed trailer
1-E-150 van
2-landscape trailers
a ton of backpack sprayers
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  #37  
Old 05-13-2008, 12:05 AM
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dcgreenspro dcgreenspro is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: PA
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yes, I hope my nightmare brought on a few laughs
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  #38  
Old 05-13-2008, 12:08 AM
Stillwater Stillwater is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dcgreenspro View Post
yes, I hope my nightmare brought on a few laughs
Ill have you know, I soiled myself laughing
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  #39  
Old 05-14-2008, 07:20 PM
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RABBITMAN11 RABBITMAN11 is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Carmel Indiana
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Okay I have a good one! I show up at this house to do a application, and as I am unloading I see this big bird on the front porch. So I start driving up the drive way to start, Just as I am doing my first pass this bird about the size of a turkey starts chasing me! So I turn the machine around to chase him away. So as he runs off I start in on the lawn again and here he comes again, by the way this bird is a ring neck pheasent. So now the bird gets a little more aggressive to the point that I think he will attack like a rooster, so he comes at me again this time I spray him with weed control. He runs off and shakes his feathers so I start in on the lawn again and here he comes again so I turn the machine towards him and he runs toward me so I spray him with the machine and he runs to the back of me and tries to get to me. So now I am starting to get mad so I head back to the truck to get my hand blower, well when I climb ito the back of the box truck he comes to the back of the truck and bows up like he is going to attack so I start up the hand blower and start blowing it at him well he gets so close to the blower that I could stick the end of the blower over his head. So I get back on the machine to finish the yard with the blower in one hand to keep him off me and he followed me all around the yard, untill I was done! So called the owner up and asked him what the deal was with this bird was, and he said it just showed up one day and chased everyone that came in the yard. Needless to say the owner just told me they shot the bird and killed it!
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  #40  
Old 05-14-2008, 08:01 PM
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arcticzl arcticzl is offline
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: caledonia ny
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one time i went to a renters apt. to fix a broken lightswitch.banged on the door and no answer.i let my self in yelling hello.;still no answer.walked into a dark bedroom and triped and fell on the bed.HOLY CRAP THERE SHE WAS SLEEPING.WELL NOT LONG.she screemed i yelled and ran out of the room.i was 10 shades of red.we both laughed about it later.
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