10 things your landscaper won't tell you

Discussion in 'General Industry Discussions' started by elitelawnteam1, May 17, 2012.

  1. macgyver_GA

    macgyver_GA LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 826

    For me:
    #1 - Thanks for planting a new tree sapling 30" away from your fence when my mower has a 36" wide deck. (Recent discovery last week in my customer's backyard)

    #2 - No I will not cut it lower

    #3 - No I will not email you before I'm going to come mow your lawn so you can pick up the dog poop. Make your teenage daughter and her boyfriend clean it up...they always seem to be home everyday.

    #4 - The cute little Leyland Cypresses are not shrubs...They will be a 40'X10' TREE in a few years...good luck with those...less grass for me to cut once they mature.

    #5 - The neighbor's lawn looks really good right now because Truegreen pounded it with quick release nitrogen...it will look like crap again in a few months...just wait.

    #6 - Those aren't wildflowers...they're weeds.

    #7 - PUT DOWN THE BOTTLE OF ROUNDUP! your lawn looks like a missile test site.
     
  2. lawnprosteveo

    lawnprosteveo LawnSite Bronze Member
    from Tulsa
    Posts: 1,930

    Lmao macgyver...you nailed 1 thru 7!
     
  3. f50lvr2

    f50lvr2 LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 277

    Don't install/service your own sprinkler system, You don't know what you're doing!
     
  4. Landscape Poet

    Landscape Poet LawnSite Gold Member
    Posts: 3,637

    And don't call me after you have "fixed" your own irrigation system wondering if I am cutting or doing something different because there are brown dead patches in the lawn.


    and yes Weed Control in your beds is part of the service plan you signed up for, but that was under the assumption that 4 years ago when you bought this new home that you would install new mulch at some point and actually not expect me to keep 2000 square foot of dirt completely weed free.


    and

    I really could give a sh8t less about whatever it is that you are saying to me unless it involves some kind of potential profit margin for me, I wish you would stop confusing me for one of your friends. I do not care what your True Brown tech told you, I do not care how your mother is doing, I do not care to know what you did this week, I just want you to leave me the hell alone and send my check promptly when the invoice is received.

    and last but not least, if you take my time up asking me a stupid landscape question and by chance I actually give a response......DO NOT do exactly the opposite of what I told you and then tell me that those plants will live in full sun because the guy at lowes told you so or whatever silly task you performed in my absence. Next time please send a check made payable to me for the amount that you would of spent on those flowers only to watch them die instead.
     
  5. Duekster

    Duekster LawnSite Fanatic
    from DFW, TX
    Posts: 7,961

    I don't have insurance
    I hire illegal aliens
    I don't pay sales tax
    I do not pay FICA
    I do not report income, make the check to me.
    I steal plants off job sites to sell to you.
    I do not use the materials I quote.
    I am not licensed to do the work.
    I am experimenting on you but will charge more next time.
    I need this job badly because no one else will hire me
     
  6. 4 seasons lawn&land

    4 seasons lawn&land LawnSite Gold Member
    from NY
    Posts: 3,587

    You cant trick me into mowing & trimming more for the same amount. Im well aware of the areas Ive been mowing for 3 years

    No, the lawn looks just as good as it did before I got a helper. Its in your head that its not as good because Im watching him like a hawk and redoing half of what he has done.

    your on thin ice if you come out and tell me that you dont want it done this week as Im dropping my trailer gate.....real thin

    $300? Great, thank you. Wheres the other 800 you owe me?
     
  7. zechstoker

    zechstoker LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 976

    Really, 10 just isn't enough, but I think Macgyver covered most everything else I would've listed. Haha
    Posted via Mobile Device
     
  8. Snyder's Lawn Inc

    Snyder's Lawn Inc LawnSite Platinum Member
    Posts: 4,541

    Do you have a license to spray for weeds in them flower beds

    To the OP good thread Made my nite
     
  9. birddseedd

    birddseedd LawnSite Silver Member
    Posts: 2,114

    I jsut build beds so there arnt any weeds.

    and i dont manage flowerbeds on every visit. woudl spend hours on each mow.
     
  10. birddseedd

    birddseedd LawnSite Silver Member
    Posts: 2,114

    #10 "you signed the contract, now yoru scrfewed"

    hehe.
     

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