Bad time of the year

Discussion in 'Lawn Mowing' started by pjslawncare/landscap, May 2, 2004.

  1. pjslawncare/landscap

    pjslawncare/landscap LawnSite Bronze Member
    Posts: 1,410

    I consider myself pritty tough. At 43 Im able to work circles around the younger collage guys I hire (of coarse Im $$$ motivated) and mentally & emotionally tough as well, however this time two years ago I unexpectedly lost my mom to a major stoke. Her birthday is also in April just after she passed. Then this time last year my dad passed after some time suffering with parkinsons. We were close & he was a giving person. My wife, 4 kids and I would visit him in the nursing home the last 9 monthes of his life and he always offered the kids his snacks that freinds & family brought for him (all he had left in this world). Rite now Im working solo becouse my helpers start may 10th. Got to tell ya, while mowing solo, I have too much time to think and a couple times latelly Ive been getting all choked up & teary eyed. I think its normal greiving process to miss them this time of year. When their passing was "fresh" Of coarse I was very sad, but handled every thing well, however having a year and two to miss them is tough as well. I miss never being able to call them or get in a car and see them. Now it seems I can be working all day and never see a customer, but as soon as a song comes across on my peltiers that reminds me of ol times with them and I get choked up, there comes a customer all in my face. Of coarse its my job so I deal with it and hope they dont think Im wacked or something. Yesterday one of my favorite customers aproched me. She just happend to be the lady that relayed to me the message of my mom from my wife (no cell phone here) so she knows the story. She also knew my dad. She is the whittiest lady on earth & I think she realizes My "dealings". She always has a funny story. Yesterday she was telling me about her knee operation she had & at theropy she was riding a stationary bike when the pedal broke off and the crank smacked her rite in the knee. This lady is a millionaire many X over, but so down to earth its unreal. Every visit she compliments my work, every christmas she sends a gift, every payment includes "Thanks!" in the memo. Ill get over my "dealings" in time as we all do, but customers like that is what makes our job seem so much easier & pleasent to do.
     
  2. tiedeman

    tiedeman LawnSite Fanatic
    from earth
    Posts: 8,745

    Sorry to hear about all the hardships that you had or still are having right now. I know what you mean with thinking of spending more time with the family. My dad just got done with prostrate cancer surgery and that was not a fun time for me or the family. I spend more time with him now and realize that I wasted a lot of years not spending time with him and learning things. Just listening to him. So I am all ears, don't laugh at his mistakes, and think more to myself that he has gone through a lot of sh*t compared to me (he lost a leg, and two fingers in Vietnam). So when I have problems such as a bad work day I just stop and think, damn, I am a lucky one compared to my dad. He has been through and is still going through a lot. My only regret is that I wish that I would have saw that earlier.

    And to answer your finally thought, yes, thank God for those customers that actually understand what you are going through
     
  3. Mark McC

    Mark McC LawnSite Bronze Member
    Posts: 1,565

    My father passed away in 1992 and it seems to me that about two years passed before I got to the stage where I didn't think about him every day. My mom's still alive and doing well, though.

    Losing both parents in such a short span is brutal. Snip, snip, there go two of the most important links between you and reality. If you feel a little at sea...well, lets just say that it would be really conspicuous if you didn't.

    Working alone doesn't always help in the short run, either...too much time for reflection. On the other hand, one could argue that such circumstances allows one to process such things whereas a very distracting job may make it nearly impossible to mull over the meaning of a relationship.

    As much as I still miss my dad, I'm oh-so grateful that I didn't grow up without him. It may seem less painful to hear that a father you never met has passed away, but the vacuum of such an absence really sucks the life out of a lot of people. Betcha anything that those who grow up without a father are more likely to end up addicted and/or in jail. Those without a mother...pretty similar stuff, I'd wager.

    Hang in there, PJ. It does get easier, but not quickly.
     
  4. QualityLawnCare4u

    QualityLawnCare4u LawnSite Gold Member
    Posts: 3,758

    Hey PJ, talk about a reality check. Here I am whining about loosing 4 accounts and my dad had made my last 4 ztr payments for me and he is in poor health. I wish you my deepest sympathy and wish you the best. Bet your parents would be proud of you after reading this. :)

    Danny
     
  5. GeeVee

    GeeVee LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 421

    Time heals all wounds-

    Don't be afraid or ashamed of your emotions. Be thankful your parents taught you compassion......

    Feel good that you have had a chance to suffer loss. Many folks out there have no chance, or for whatever reason, don't feel that kind of pain by choice.

    Sympathies to you....
     
  6. Remsen1

    Remsen1 LawnSite Bronze Member
    Posts: 1,020

    I understand. The same thing will happen to me. Sometimes I'll be doing some tractor work and I'll get all choked up while I remember my grandfather teaching me how to drive one, me sitting on his lap, pulling a trailer full of firewood and a couple of my friends walking along behind us, feeling like the king of the world. He was taken from this world abruptly, too soon, when a tree he'd cut down rolled over on him while he was cutting some of the limbs off. One morning I was having breakfast with him before school talking about what we were going to do that day and that afternoon, he was dead.

    It's good to cry. Remember the good times.
     
  7. bobbygedd

    bobbygedd LawnSite Fanatic
    from NJ
    Posts: 10,178

    sorry to hear of your sadness pj. hang tough, ask the lord to carry you through these rough periods and ease your pain.
     
  8. Jimmy Bell

    Jimmy Bell LawnSite Member
    Posts: 37

    PJ, I feel your pain. I'm 44 and lost my Dad in 2002. A few months ago my favorite uncle died. He was more of an inspiration to me growing up than my Dad was. I worked on his tobacco farm and learned all about farming, tractors and the most important lessons of all - value of a dollar, hard work builds character and treat people like you want to be treated. Last saturday I went to the wedding of his only girl grandchild, I got to thinking how it sucked that he couldn't be there - had to do some deep breaths before I lost it in church! As the old people use to tell me, there's a better world waiting for you. Keep the faith bro.
     
  9. exmarkjockey

    exmarkjockey LawnSite Member
    Posts: 83

    My sympathies for your loss. Take heart in the fact that you have fond memories of your father. I don't have any because mine was never around and everytime I see one of my clients out playing with their kids or go to a movie with a touching father/son moment I get a little teary myself because I see what I missed. Maybe you could do something each year to dedicate to the memory of your parents (plant a tree, make a charitable donation, etc.) to help keep their memory alive and honor all they did for you.
     

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