Commerial sales letter hook line...

Discussion in 'Business Operations' started by Wells, Feb 6, 2004.

  1. Wells

    Wells LawnSite Member
    from SLC UT
    Posts: 0

    I'm putting together my 2004 commercial sales letter and I need a good hook line...Something to grab their attention and keep them reading on.

    Somewhere betwen 2 to 8 words long.

    Any ideas?
     
  2. olderthandirt

    olderthandirt LawnSite Platinum Member
    from here
    Posts: 4,900

    Will work for food! lol then you can hit them that the food is for 1/2 the population of new york.

    Mac:D
     
  3. Wells

    Wells LawnSite Member
    from SLC UT
    Posts: 0

    So nobody other that olderthandirt can come up with a hook line?

    Whats up with that? If I was to create a thread about a honda pulling a trailer I would get more than 4 pages of replys.

    Someone has to have one that worked well in the past. Come on a little help over here pleasssseee.
     
  4. Mykster

    Mykster LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 668

    Never had a hook line or anything along those lines so I can't of much help.

    How about "We are the other side"
     
  5. NCSULandscaper

    NCSULandscaper Banned
    Posts: 1,557

    I dont know if a few words will really get their attention. Possibly you could add in a picture or 2 of your work and get their attention by showing top notch results.
     
  6. sildoc

    sildoc LawnSite Silver Member
    Posts: 2,925

    Don't Do It!


    Read on if interested.
















































































    I mow for food.
     
  7. Wells

    Wells LawnSite Member
    from SLC UT
    Posts: 0

    Think I found one that will work.
    Thank you to those that responded.
     
  8. sildoc

    sildoc LawnSite Silver Member
    Posts: 2,925

    Just messin with you wells.
    As we (most of us anyways) Know you have to have yourself sold in the first 3 lines. Other wise you might as well forget it.
    Words like FREE, Extra, Included are catchy and will get people to read more.

    I in a employment application added in the first job section that I would do 1 day free of charge.
    Now mind you this was no burger job and to this day I still work there.
    It was the final selling point. Landed me 3 bucks an hour over a guy that had been there 5 years(he doesn't know that though).
    And They still paid me for my first day.
    I beat out serveral people that were way more qualified than me.

    Free is a powerfull word.
     
  9. NCSULandscaper

    NCSULandscaper Banned
    Posts: 1,557

    You know that other industries dont have to put in words like FREE in their advertisements. I think landscaping and lawn care have to be the only industry where we have to give something away to get business.
     
  10. sildoc

    sildoc LawnSite Silver Member
    Posts: 2,925


    What do you mean we are the only ones?

    Have you not seen a buy one get one free advertisement.
    OR buy for 5.99 and get a 5.99 rebate from manufactor?

    I see it all the time from Walmart to Costco to Car lots. It is a fact of life in america, We want something for nothing.
     

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