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Commerial sales letter hook line...

Discussion in 'Business Operations' started by Wells, Feb 6, 2004.

  1. NCSULandscaper

    NCSULandscaper Banned
    Posts: 1,557

    Im not worried about retailers

    What about plumbers, electricians, building contractors. They dont offer anything for free.
  2. twins_lawn_care

    twins_lawn_care LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 932

    "I just saw someone walk away from your company without even walking in..."

    Then go on to explain the first impression people get about a company is the landscaping, blah blah blah.

    works well for smaller store front types which they try to attract people coming in.

    sorry, it's late zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:sleeping:
  3. justmjc

    justmjc LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 261

    If you really want to stand out above everyone else, call the man in charge and ask if they are happy with their current company.

    This moves you ahead of the line and you will save way more money. I've made way more business this way with commercial accounts than any other way.
  4. HOMER

    HOMER LawnSite Gold Member
    Posts: 3,183

    If your gonna be there when the work gets done then add:

    "The owner is always on the job site".

    Round here it helps cause people are so tired of the other guys sending out so called "crews" to do the work.
  5. GarPA

    GarPA LawnSite Silver Member
    from PA
    Posts: 2,585

    I've never used the word "free" in any advertising or cold call letters and I never will. Before you ever get their account you are already "training" them that "free" services are a possibility..short or long term.
    Unless I;m buying a pack of cookies where its "buy one get one free", whenever a SERVICE company of any kind says "FREE" to me, I immediatley say bs...nothing is free in this world...at least in my opinion

    I;ve never been able to come up with any kind of 'catchy" phrase to open a cold call letter. Usually I'll say something like, "Thank you for taking a moment out of your busy day to review this information. Following are x # of reasons to consider our company for your grounds maintenance:"

    Then I list a half dozen or so reasons with bolded bullet points so it jumps off the page. I think I got this idea from a book or here on LS a couple years ago. It gets my foot in the door about 10% of the time on a cold call letter...which is pretty good for cold calling/canvassing. A couple of the reasons we list are:
    1.We provide the highest value in services of any company in our area (notice no "free"...value is a better way of talking about what you give for what they pay)
    2. We like what we do...and it shows
    3. We can provide you with a lengthy reference list of satisfied commercial( or residential) customers

    and so on depedning on the type of prospect it is
  6. Soupy

    Soupy LawnSite Gold Member
    Posts: 3,125

    "Free lawn care" then explain that if they hire you, you will give them a free mow, or something after they sign a contract. Or at the end of the year, if they don't sign a contract. I wouldn't use this for commercial, only residential.

    I used to do this, and it helped. But I am getting away from begging for customers. The clientèle looking for quality work isn't going to care about getting anything free.
  7. Wells

    Wells LawnSite Member
    from SLC UT
    Posts: 0

    Thanks guys, I appreciate all the input.

    I've finished the 2004 commercial sales letter and believe I have a keeper... It should generate some good responce.
    If anybodys interested in checking it out please pm me and i'll shoot you a copy.

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