critiqe this postcard please

Discussion in 'Business Operations' started by daveyo, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. daveyo

    daveyo LawnSite Senior Member
    from N.J.
    Posts: 907

  2. Grits

    Grits LawnSite Silver Member
    from Florida
    Posts: 2,994

    I clicked on the link. Didn't see your design. Just a bunch of templates.
     
  3. daveyo

    daveyo LawnSite Senior Member
    from N.J.
    Posts: 907

    Sorry about that, this will work.
     

    Attached Files:

  4. J Hisch

    J Hisch LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 952

    Where's the offer? What is going to get me to buy from you? Also, If you are going to put that you return calls, I'll put calls answered from 7:00am 7pm during the growing season. and if we fail to repond within 24hours the service is free, that's our quality promise. I am not trying to let you down, but I feel you could increase repsonse by giving them a stronger offer.
     
  5. hoskm01

    hoskm01 LawnSite Fanatic
    Posts: 5,690

    Correct your punctuation. If you ask a question, use a question mark. (?) Don’t Capitalize Letters Other Than The First Letter Of The Sentence Or Proper Nouns. (See how annoying that is!) Use a comma when you pause, don’t overuse them when not needed. Get rid of the run on sentence; use a semi colon or a period to begin a new thought or sentence.

    Will you only respond within 24 hrs to manage new accounts? Will your older customers get slower service?

    Just because you cut grass doesn't mean you can't sound smart.
     
  6. Woody82986

    Woody82986 LawnSite Silver Member
    from DFW, TX
    Posts: 2,128

    Send me the actual file and I will fix it for you... for a fee, haha. There are a lot of grammatical mistakes that could be fixed as well as some wording.
     
  7. daveyo

    daveyo LawnSite Senior Member
    from N.J.
    Posts: 907

    Woa slow down guys lol. The file I uploaded is only a rough copy, critique the content, thanks. Before I send the file off I'll have you check my grammatical mistakes, lol.
     
  8. hoskm01

    hoskm01 LawnSite Fanatic
    Posts: 5,690

    It's not like this is a 60 page thesis for your masters degree. Its a postcard with maybe 100 words on it. How hard can it be?
     
  9. daveyo

    daveyo LawnSite Senior Member
    from N.J.
    Posts: 907

    Lawnlog, I did my graduate work on New Jerseys woodland landscape plants, you know native species of the Pine Barrens. However, thats not what I'm asking help for. there are guys who know you don't just throw a 100 words into a salad bowl and expect phone calls. All I need to know is if this cards contents looks good.
     
  10. daveyo

    daveyo LawnSite Senior Member
    from N.J.
    Posts: 907

    J Hisch,thanks for the info, I'll try and add some type of incentive and fix some of the wording. I'll post the results Thanks.
     

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