Critique my doorhanger "copy"

Discussion in 'Business Operations' started by MacLawnCo, Feb 10, 2003.

  1. MacLawnCo

    MacLawnCo LawnSite Bronze Member
    Posts: 1,847

    I made this in Quark Express, zipped it, and for some reason after successfully posting, it didnt show up. I will just put up the text....let me know what you think. Thanks, Jason

    .......................................................................

    Do you value excellence, punctuality, and dedication? If you are like every one of our clients, you do. In addition to every service we provide, we always include these essential commitments to you. Every lawn service claims to provide better lawn results at reduced prices, but quite simply, it can not be done. Our promise to you is simple: We will provide you with a lawn you are proud of and customer service that is unmatched by anyone, in any industry. For more information, and a free estimate, please call us today at 335-3441

    In larger font, coupon:
    5% off all service
    agreements received
    by March 28, 2003

    At the bottom, logo, and contact info.

    ............................................................................

    So lets hear it. BTW, this is going to be full color, 4.5"x11" with one of my nicely edged walks and dense turf in the background.
     
  2. ipm

    ipm LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 264

    You need to try to grab the viewer in less than 2 seconds. I would cut down on the text, etc.
     
  3. The text is ok if you have something to grab their attension with.

    You will get mixer opinions on this.
     
  4. Mike Bradbury

    Mike Bradbury LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 493

    "Every lawn service claims to provide better lawn results at reduced prices, but quite simply, it can not be done"

    I would lose this line. #1) Never tell a customer "it can't be done". It implies, "so settle for less".
    #2) Seems to imply that you are expensive. Even if you are you don't want them to know that before they call. Explain in person after they call why you are worth more than the lowballers.
     
  5. MacLawnCo

    MacLawnCo LawnSite Bronze Member
    Posts: 1,847

    I am amazed that no one want to comment on my doorhanger. Anyone?
     
  6. rodfather

    rodfather LawnSite Fanatic
    Posts: 9,501

    Jason

    Your first sentence is rhetorical (who doesn't value excellence, punctuality, and dedication)? And then your next sentence answers the question anyway.

    Get rid of the verbage and start your flyer with the sentence "Our promise to you is simple -- we will blah blah blah"

    just my 2 cents
     
  7. MacLawnCo

    MacLawnCo LawnSite Bronze Member
    Posts: 1,847

    Thanks Rod,

    Here is the revised text that i have played with and like quite a bit...does this sit better with you?

    ...........................................
    Do you value excellence, punctuality, and dedication? If so, you should consider McCoy Mowing for all your lawn and landscaping needs. In addition to our services, we always include these esential commitments to you. Our mission is simple: We want to provide you with a lawn you are proud of and customer service that is unmatched by anyone. For more information, and a free
    estimate, please call us today at
     
  8. rodfather

    rodfather LawnSite Fanatic
    Posts: 9,501

    100% better.
     
  9. MacLawnCo

    MacLawnCo LawnSite Bronze Member
    Posts: 1,847

    Now for the $500,000 question, will it get them to call? I also am going to have a 5% off coupon redeemable for all services if they respond prior to April 4.
     
  10. 1MajorTom

    1MajorTom Senior Moderator
    Posts: 6,073

    One small thing, and it may just be a typing error.
    Essential is spelled with two S's.
    I'm not trying to be a spelling cop here ;), but on an ad or something that a potential customer is going to read, then I do think spelling is important.
     

Share This Page