Favorite customer one-liners

Discussion in 'Lawn Mowing' started by Schlepie, Nov 11, 2001.

  1. Schlepie

    Schlepie LawnSite Member
    Posts: 165

    You always get a customers 2 cents worth after a project and no matter how far in the past it was, when you think about it , it makes you laugh.


    " looks like a bunch of goats ran through there."

    " those schrubs look great, they look like a bunch of poodles" haha

    " fertalize, nah, nothin can hurt my yard" ( after 2 hrs of hand pulling weeds from the lawn)

    OK guys, Wadaya got!!
     
  2. casey

    casey Guest
    Posts: 0

    I allways get this from female customers.

    "Why dontcha take off that sticky t-shirt and come inside for a cold soda"
     
  3. Richard Martin

    Richard Martin LawnSite Fanatic
    Posts: 14,700

    Here's one I heard last Tuesday when I showed up at a job to do some minor tree trimming and weed pulling.

    "I meant to call you last night."
     
  4. JeremySkrocki

    JeremySkrocki LawnSite Member
    Posts: 27

    I'm with Richard. I got the "Meant to call you last night night." about two weeks ago when I was supposed to start mowing a new lawn. I showed up and everything was done. The lady forgot to fire her old lawn guy's. The only saving grace was I had another lawn in the same neighborhood.
     
  5. mdb landscaping

    mdb landscaping LawnSite Silver Member
    Posts: 2,205

    got this one yesterday
    "why are you cutting my lawn in November? No other LCO has done that before"

    she assumed i was done coming for the year. i skipped her lawn three weeks in a row so it would grow a little for the final cut. Gotta love it.
     
  6. 1MajorTom

    1MajorTom Senior Moderator
    Posts: 6,073

    A little old man with barely any hair tells us,

    "You're quicker than my barber."
     
  7. My personal favorite:

    You know that leak you fixed about 13 months ago? It is still leaking and it has ever since you fixed it. Could you come fix it, I won't be home but since there won't be a bill do I really need to be?

    I know that is not a one liner, but.............
     
  8. Lawns2nv

    Lawns2nv LawnSite Member
    Posts: 39

    I like this one :

    I went out to a customers house, to do some small tree trimming, i ask how would you like your tree's trimmed, would you like them shaped or would you like me just to trim them. The customer says " I dont no your the experts". That gets me cuz I no what I'm doing, I'm just trying to get some input on how they would like it to look. Some clients jus like a little trimming some want me to strip the heck out of their trees.
     
  9. General Grounds

    General Grounds LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 902

    :blob3: how about

    "why do i have more leaves than my neighbors".

    "i dont understand why my lawn is brown, i waterr for 15min a zone, you must not be putting the proper chemicals down"

    " i think you may have over fertilizes the lawn because all the leaves are starting to fall off the tree's" (nov.8).

    " do you mind if i hire the cheaper landscaper to landscape my pool, you can do everything else though"(regular customer for 6 years, other bid was for about $900. less)
     
  10. bubble boy

    bubble boy LawnSite Bronze Member
    Posts: 1,020

    from non- customers, many times.

    "you guys cut grass?"

    i know it is just a line to get the dialogue going, but still a dumb question when your standing beside your truck.
     

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