John Deere Comfort Features

Discussion in 'Tractors' started by MowingInAZ, Sep 7, 2005.

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Would you purchase a ZZZ series (Deere Feedback)?

  1. Yes

    3 vote(s)
    30.0%
  2. No

    6 vote(s)
    60.0%
  3. Maybe

    1 vote(s)
    10.0%
  1. MowingInAZ

    MowingInAZ LawnSite Member
    Posts: 79

    John Deere has realized that they cannot compete with the market for overstuffed recliners due to our obsessive eating habits, and the widening of our asses so they're creating a new lineup for 2006 called the "ZZZ" Series.

    Here's a list of the "creature comforts" we are staring to expect in everything these days.

    1. John Deere are going to make their ZZZ lineup in colors to match your home. All of the popular vinyl siding colors will be available, beige, almond, putty and dove gray. Still to be decided on are federal blue, sage, and wheat; but no word yet on whether they might make available a sage tractor with wheat colored wheels, for those who find the standard green and yellow just a bit too garish.

    2. They are introducing a new line of four and six cylinder lawn tractor engines. According to one Deere representative I've talked to says "We feel that we have pushed the V-Twin idea for lawn and garden tractors about as far as it can go". Thus John Deere introduced the ZZZ series tractors with four and six cylinders to replace our venerable twin-cylinder models. "We need to be able to mow our lawn while keeping up with freeway speed".

    3. John Deere will also introduce the first air conditioned lawn tractor in an open-cab design. "We feel that these fat men with their shirts off is utterly embarrasing, so we've decided to make an extremely powerful air conditioner built into the newly remodeled dashboard".

    4. JD will also add CD players as standard equipment to most models. Some will even have an optional plug-in for an MP3 or satellite radio device. Still under consideration is the dash-mounted DVD player. "We need to be an innovator, we don't want Americans to have to listen to the sound of four or six cylinder engines, so we'll also throw in a headphone set that can be plugged into the dash that will play any type of music as Bose quality sound. The cupholder will be able to hold an 84 ounce mug of whatever liqour that you drink. "We don't want our men to be consious while mowing their lawn, they work hard enough so they deserve to be buzzed every so often.

    5. Also under consideration is a GPS tracking device so your wife or significant other can keep accurate records of where you are in the yard at every moment in time, and then call you on the hands-free cell phone (also available through Deere) as well. This will eventually become part of "Deerestar." Deerestar allows you to call your Deere dealer for help 24/7 while you are still out on your lawn tractor. Also is a GPS locator in the bill of your cap, so when your buzzed you don't wander off into the thickness of the brush you are clearing with your Deere. "We feel that Deerestar will draw a huge market of CEO's that want all the comfort of their Cadillac or Mercedes".

    The total cost of the 4 models for the ZZZ series is as follows:

    ZZZ2000- $29,000
    ZZZ2500- $34,000
    ZZZ4500- $41,000
    ZZZ5000- $60,000
     
  2. Travis Followell

    Travis Followell LawnSite Silver Member
    from KY
    Posts: 2,207

    That sounds like a bunch of BS to me.
     
  3. MowingInAZ

    MowingInAZ LawnSite Member
    Posts: 79

    Well it was intended as a joke thread!
     
  4. Travis Followell

    Travis Followell LawnSite Silver Member
    from KY
    Posts: 2,207

    Thats a good one. I guess I didn't get it.
     

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