1. Missed the live Ask the Expert event?
    Not to worry. Check out the archived thread of the Q&A with Ken Hutcheson, President of U.S. Lawns, and the LawnSite community in the Franchising forum .

    Dismiss Notice

Just a thought

Discussion in 'Lawn Mowing' started by Hodge, Jun 10, 2004.

  1. Hodge

    Hodge LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 261

    GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world
    is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance
    garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with
    abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees
    and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But
    all I see are these green rectangles.

    ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
    They started calling your flowers weeds and went to great lengths to kill
    them and replace them with grass.

    GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract
    butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental
    with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing

    ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and
    keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning
    any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

    GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast.
    That must make the Suburbanites happy.

    ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little they cut
    it, sometimes twice a week

    GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

    ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

    GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

    ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

    GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow.
    And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

    ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

    GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on
    the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them
    a lot of work.

    ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops
    growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they
    can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

    GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer
    stoke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring
    to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the
    ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect
    the roots and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance
    the soil.

    It's a natural circle of life.

    ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new
    circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay
    to have them hauled away.

    GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree roots in the winter
    and to keep the soil moist and loose?

    ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something
    which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of
    the leaves.

    GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

    ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

    GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine,
    you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

    ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber" Lord. It's a real stupid movie about..

    GOD: Never mind. I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
  2. twins_lawn_care

    twins_lawn_care LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 932

    That's pretty funny.
    Scary too when you think about it.
    I guess there's always other ways to look at things ,and sometimes we need to step back to see what we are doing!

Share This Page