Caller #1 I know my service agreement is due up for renewal next month. My husband lost his job and looking at our finances, if you will do all the work you did last year and take $50.00 less a month, we will renew. Response: Let me put you on call waiting. I want to call my mortgage company and see if they will accept $50.00 less a month this year and if I make all my payments on time, will they not call my loan. Caller #2 I would like to have you provide mowing service and weed control/fertilization. If it costs more than $50.00 a month don't bother coming out to bid. Response: I believe that is a highly unreasonable expectation unless. Caller #2 Unless what? Response: Unless you just arrived on this planet. Caller #3 I was really unhappy with last years lawn service. I would like you to come out and bid mowing, weed control/fert, and beds and shrubs. Response: Here is your bid, it comes to $168.00/month for a turnkey operation. Caller #3 I was only paying $22.00(cash under the mat) a cut last year, they said they would fertilize but I don't think they did and I always had to call about weeding the beds. They would only weed the beds after I called three of four times and then wanted to charge extra. I was hoping you wouldn't be more than $125.00/month Response: Call last years idiots and have them do it this year and don't complain. Caller #3 There is no answer whenever I call and no voice mail to leave a message. I don't think they are still in business. Response: Do you think there may be a reason for that? Caller #3 (Puzzled look on his face as I turned to leave for the truck) I love March so much the entire month could be ripped from the calendar and I wouldn't miss it!