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Nutcase Lady

Discussion in 'Lawn Mowing' started by JimLewis, Mar 5, 2003.

  1. JimLewis

    JimLewis LawnSite Fanatic
    Posts: 6,841

    I forgot to tell this story last season and I was telling it to a friend of mine today and he was just dying laughing. He enjoyed it so much I figured I'd share it here.

    For those of you who know of my previous hijinks on this board, this is not one of them. This story is 100% true.

    Last year we came across a new maintenance client. She was an Asian lady who spoke broken english and was very much into Zen, Feng Shui, The balance of nature, etc.

    So I was explaining our full service package to her. And when I came to the part where I said we'd take care of weeding the flowerbeds she asked how we'd do that. I said, "Well, if the weeds are very small, we spray them and if they are larger, like over 1" wide, then we pull them." She said, "What do you spray them with?" I responded, "We spray them with an herbicide." She said, "Does that kill them?" I said, "Well, yes. That's the point."

    I swear - I am not making this up. It gets worse....

    She said, "well could you just pull them instead?" And before I could really answer that fully she said, "If you pull them, what happens to them?" I told her that we took them away in our truck and dumped them with the grass clippings at the end of the day. She got very troubled. And said, "Oh. That's not good. I don't want to kill them. They have the positive life-force in them. And I don't want to disturb that. Can't you just take them over to this field behid my house and just transplant them in the field so they can keep living?"

    What do you say to something as stupid as that? I am usually pretty much in control of a conversation when I am talking to a client. This is my expertise and I almost always know more than my client. I am usually very confident. But I must admit, I stumbled a little here. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? "You are incredibly stupid, I quit!" ??? I lost my composure for a minute.

    I had to tell her no, of course. I guess I should have said, "Sure. The price just went up to $1000 per visit."

    So I basically just told her that it wasn't feasible to do it that way and then I tried to explain how everything we take to the dump at the end of the day is recycled into garden mulch and that "positive lifeforce" is "transformed" into nutrients for new, more desireable plants. She seemed okay with that. But dang. How can someone be that ignorant?

    I could tell you another 20 whacky stories about this lady. But the "transplanting the weeds" request was the best.
  2. troblandscape

    troblandscape Guest
    Posts: 0

    Jim I admire your response about it becoming mulch, I would have gone blank....:dizzy: and the given her a steep estimate for transplanting weeds: :cry:
  3. brucec32

    brucec32 LawnSite Platinum Member
    Posts: 4,403

    That kind of superstitious mystic BS is why they still starve and live in huts in much of China. 3,000 years ago some bored Chinaman made it all up.
  4. Russ

    Russ LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 539

    Are you sure she was from Asia not California? Thats a good one.
  5. Jim thats a good one.You notice the more years we are in business it gets stranger by the moment.Just think what lies ahead in the future:)
  6. 65hoss

    65hoss LawnSite Fanatic
    Posts: 6,360

    We all need to laugh. We especially need humor and conversations with wives and girlfriends. At least that is what they tell us. Anyway, I've become convinced that these type of people are put in our paths on a regular basis to help us. That is, help us with humor at the dinner table. After years, what else can you come up with just to "talk" about on a regular basis? Our daily enjoyment of goofy people. ;)
  7. cos

    cos LawnSite Addict
    Posts: 1,253


    Now she thinks your a weed murderer.What happens when you prune the shrubs? Are you hurting the positive life force.
  8. 65hoss

    65hoss LawnSite Fanatic
    Posts: 6,360

    Naw...just tell her the Zenn masters gave you word that they needed more recyclable material. You will need to get some from her positive life force shrubs.
  9. cos

    cos LawnSite Addict
    Posts: 1,253

    Tell her the weeds that you are spraying needed to die and go to live in another life form called nutrients. Then the positive energy will be even greater in the plants that must stay.

    Question: What happens when the annuals die in the fall? Does this lady have a nervous breakdown?
  10. Gravely_Man

    Gravely_Man LawnSite Silver Member
    Posts: 2,076

    Jim you again strike a cord with me. Until I found this site I was convinced that I was the only one that ran into these type of people. I assume she grilled you on how were going to mow the property to not harm the life force or take it with you in the clippings.


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