Please let me know what you think about this

Discussion in 'Business Operations' started by matthew horner, Feb 27, 2004.

  1. matthew horner

    matthew horner LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 696

    I will be sending 1000 of these out. I drove around and wrote down addresses. I will attach this letter onto my business letterhead, and will include a business card in each one. Of course this is not the final copy ( I haven't even checked the spelling), but I'm getting ready to finalize for printing. I am thinking of including a smaller font bulleted list of exact services I can provide. Thanks for your input.
    Matthew
     

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  2. matthew horner

    matthew horner LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 696

    Again, sorry for the spelling errors.:eek:
     
  3. mow2nd

    mow2nd LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 603

    I don't think people would take the time to read it. thats what I think
     
  4. twins_lawn_care

    twins_lawn_care LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 932

    Not really a english major here, but it doesn't seem to flow. Seems very choppy to read, if people actually spend the time to read it all. Try to break it up into
    1) reasons for using you
    2) bulleted list of services
    3) description of the company
    4) additional info

    try to keep it catchy, so people just don't throw it out, but read the good points you have.

    I'd definitely hand it out to a few people, and see what they say. Ask them to be brutally honest, as this is the only way you can get ahead, is to get honest feedback to improve on.

    Good luck with it, and keep putting up new ones until you feel you have it right.
    People here will let you know if it is junk or worth sending out pretty good.
     
  5. matthew horner

    matthew horner LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 696

    Yeah, I see its choppyness, I'm working on it RIGHT NOW.
     
  6. topher924

    topher924 LawnSite Member
    Posts: 109

    NOT VERY EYE CATCHING I WOULD NOT TAKE THE TIME TO READ IT
     
  7. ipm

    ipm LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 264

    You have to get your point across in less than 2 seconds, I believe.

    Way too long. I would recommend that it be in post card form, so you will not have to open it.

    1,000 pieces you will get 10 calls, again, this is what statistics show.

    If I am wrong please correct me.
     
  8. ksland

    ksland LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 927

    Not pleasing to the eye, I would read the first 5 words and file it in the circular file
     
  9. matthew horner

    matthew horner LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 696

    Any better this time?
     

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  10. topher924

    topher924 LawnSite Member
    Posts: 109

    MATT YOU NOT GETTING THE POINT WE NEED COLOR! SOMETHING EYE CATCHING
     

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