Take the scrub test

Discussion in 'Lawn Mowing' started by lawrence stone, Jun 23, 2000.

  1. <br> Your all fimiliar with the TLC song “No Scrubs” right? <p>According to the song a “Scrub” is a boy who for various <br>reasons will make an undersirable boyfriend. <p>Are you a lawn care SCRUB? <p>If you can answer yes to many of the following questions <br>YOU are considered a lawn care SCRUB. <p>1. You have never used a stick edger. <br>2. You live in “fly over” country. <br>3. You took a “short bus” when you went to high school at age 21 <br>4. You actively solicit quarter acre and less commercial sites. <br>5. You have a Toro hydro walk behind that has 100 hours on the <br>clock that you can’t get to go straight for you have no clue as how to adjust the controls thus effectively having a $4500 paperweight. <br>6. You have to drive 200 miles to buy power equipment because you owe every dealer in town money. <br>7. You have no clue as figure out “gross profit margin”. <br>8. Before you got into the lawn care biz you ‘serviced’ portable toilets or worked at a spice factory.. <br>9. You’re unable to pass the pesticide licensing exams (see “short bus” above). <br>10. You think a five acre apartment complex is a “big” job and decline to bid on the project. <br>11. You live in the capitol of your state and ask the question: Where does one find state contracts? <br>12. You surround yourself with like weak minded individuals. <br>13. You close on 90% of your initial low end residential contacts thus effectively working for nothing and screwing up your local market for the licensed contractors who actually know their costs and profit margins. <br>14a. You have to buy new mowers for you are so poor (see #13) <br>the only tools you have are a bent flat screwdriver and a claw hammer you found in a customer’s turf. <br>14. You clean up dog **** at “no cost”. <br>15. You advertise your services in the penny saver and offer <br>a “senior citizens” discount. <br>16. You listen to the Jerry Baker radio show and swear by <br>his “tonics”. <br>17. You get all your fertilizer at K-Mart cuz it’s cheaper there. <br>18. Your helper, computer mentor, and financial advisor is <br>still in junior high school. <br>19. You have no real interpersonal relationships just “internet” friends. <br>20. Your pickup truck has a flathead engine. <p> <p><p><font size="1">Edited by: lawrence stone
  2. TGCummings

    TGCummings LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 773

    Hilarious!<p>...and strangely familiar...<p>;)<p>-TGC
  3. geogunn

    geogunn LawnSite Gold Member
    from TN
    Posts: 3,010

    darn you stone!<p>I think your standards are too high!<p>I think a couple of yes answers should be allowed! how will the rest of us ever earn the self respect that we so badly need under such an unforgiving test of scrub worthiness?<p>always the downtroden,<p>GEO
  4. crew

    crew LawnSite Member
    Posts: 163

    Hers a couple more....<br>You sharpen your blades every two months whether they need it or not<br>You cant figure out why the string on your string trimmer wont hold up(it works great on your kite!)<br>You consider mowing ANY lawn for less than 25.00 a week.<br>You once tried mixing wesson with your gas(its oil, isnt it?)
  5. paddy

    paddy LawnSite Member
    Posts: 67

    i don't necesarily associate scrubs with belt drives (i have one myself), but anytime i see a hydro WB on a trailer, i think that guy is profesional and smart. I can't see how these big companies continue to buy belt-drives.
  6. thelawnguy

    thelawnguy LawnSite Silver Member
    Posts: 2,412

    I wonder if John ever straightened out the problem with his Toro, or did he just use it to prop up old shutters in the back of the garage?<p>Bill
  7. bill phagan

    bill phagan Guest
    Posts: 0

    Here are a couple of more injections of humor........................................* Your best company vehicle wins the &quot;ugly truck&quot; contest.<br>* You have 5 trailer lights and none of them work.<br>* Your hedgetrimmers have no blades.<br>* Your weedeater doubles as your fishing pole.<br>* Your proposals are written on fast food napkins.<br>* Your equipment security is a pit bull dog.<br>* You remove dog feces for free OR for a fee.<br>* You think dining at Taco Bell is a gourmet experience.<p>
  8. Guido

    Guido LawnSite Silver Member
    Posts: 2,085

    you bend 50 blades a season, but its okay cause you can heat em up and &quot;fix em&quot;<p><br>You blame yourself not being able to handle a &quot;big&quot; lawn mower on Lesco!<br><p>----------<br>&lt;a href=&quot;http://communities.msn.com/guidosequipmentpics/&quot;&gt;&quot;Guido&quot;&lt;/a&gt;<br>David M. Famiglietti
  9. lakegastonla

    lakegastonla LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 296

    D*@# guido, that is ruthless!! (Funny as hell, but ruthless) I hope lawnranger sees this.<br>
  10. lakegastonla

    lakegastonla LawnSite Senior Member
    Posts: 296

    D*@# guido, that is ruthless!! (Funny as hell, but ruthless) I hope lawnranger sees this.<p><p><font size="1">Edited by: lakegastonla

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