Always need a laugh don't we.

Discussion in 'Lawn Mowing' started by Penncare, Jun 17, 2013.

  1. Penncare

    Penncare LawnSite Member
    Messages: 179

    Well, I thought I would pass on one of those things we all get a chuckle out of. A couple friends of my daughter put a post on facebook that read: "Me and my buddy are starting a small lawn care business this summer to make some extra money. We have great prices and great service. We will mow and weed eat two (yes I mean two, two, 2, 2, I added this part) acres or less for in ********* county, South Carolina for $30; each additional acre $5." My daughter who assists with our lawn care business started laughing and said, "you have to see this." I read it and thought, wow, I see some good times ahead for us. We have a few properties we took on that are quite a drive and involve a ton of weed trimming, but hey, it's less than two acres for each of them. My girl said, hey, let's do them a "favor" and sub them out. I said, that is cold as &&&&. I told her I would offer to sub them out to them but I would be honest and explain that they need consider their actual costs before making such blanket price offers. They listened and said, we just need to make some extra money. I did my part and they said they would love to do these jobs for me. I agreed meaning I will discuss them doing the jobs and offer the customers a price reduction of $10 each and explaining that they are not my employees, they are independent contractors to CMA. Far be it from me to explain that I charge $100 for one and $85 for the other one. My last words were, you know, you will be paying me to do these two don't you. They say they can make money at that price. My cost on both jobs is $45 and $40 respectively. I tell them this and they say there is no way it costs me that much to do these jobs. I use professional equipment and I am in and out in about 35-40 minutes each. They plan on using a 42 inch yard man rider and a homelite trimmer. It is 23-27 miles from their house to the jobs and they pull a small trailer with an Expedition. I figure it will take them a good hour in travel, easy two and a half to complete the job with one full time on the weed trimmer; yes it is trimmer hell. So now we have three and one half hours in it for two persons so seven man hours. I figure they will use about $15 in gas for the vehicle and lawn mower maybe more and about $3.50 on mixed gas and trimmer line. I figure the homelite trimmer will die by the end of yard two. If we don't even consider wear and tear on the equipment, they are at a cost of $18.50 so they "clear" $12.50. They say with a straight face, that is cool with us, we need the money. I then ask them if they will just give up the whole idea and come to work for me. They said "of course." Are you both ok with $2.00 per hour. They said, that is crazy who will work for that. I said . . . . YOU WILL. You will both be making about $1.78 per hour on these jobs. It made no difference, they will be Donald Trump by the end of the summer. The force is strong with the newbies. Money making, you will not says Yoda.
  2. Penncare

    Penncare LawnSite Member
    Messages: 179

    I have a friend that does a property that is about 22 acres and charges a nice fat fee. At the rates they are proposing, $30 first two acres, extra $5 each additional acre cutting and trimming, they would be charging $130 for the entire deal. Wow
  3. inzane

    inzane LawnSite Silver Member
    Messages: 2,478

    lol, thats funny right there.
  4. Whippit96

    Whippit96 LawnSite Member
    Messages: 129

    Wait...So you offered them jobs actually working for your company as employee's for 20 bucks an hour each and they turned that down to make 12.50 profit per lawn for two guys????
  5. ernieknows

    ernieknows LawnSite Member
    Messages: 69

    he offered 2 not 20 dollars per hour
  6. Whippit96

    Whippit96 LawnSite Member
    Messages: 129

    Ahh my bad, sorry my eye's were getting lazy after the wall of text.
  7. StanWilhite

    StanWilhite LawnSite Silver Member
    Messages: 2,397

    Most of you have probably heard this, but maybe a few haven't.

    A couple of unemployed "good ol' boys" from the hills of rural Kentucky were needing money in the worst kind of way, so, having been "best friends" all of their lives, they decided they were going to go into business together.

    Since they had been best friends their entire life, and enjoyed each others company, they couldn't see any way to keep from making money! All they needed was to figure out what type of business they were going to make the "big bucks" in.

    After talking several hours (and drinking quite a few beers), they figured they were both "extremely good salesman", so after building themselves up with a few "pats on the back" and exaggerated stories of their "salesmanship abilities", they finally talked themselves into believing they were "professional salesmen"! But what could they make the most money selling? After a couple of days, they hit pay dirt! They had very carefully devised a "no way to lose" plan.....a plan to sell watermelons! They would go buy them by the truckload in FL and drive back to rural Kentucky and sell them at a roadside watermelon stand!

    So, with a polished "game plan" in place, they pooled their money, looked around several days, and finally found an old Ford pickup truck for 650.00. It looked horrible, the paint was peeling and chipped over the whole truck, and the tired old engine had a "dead miss" on 1 cylinder. But... all it absolutely had to have (to be able to haul watermelons) was a couple of (slightly less bald) used tires, a couple of headlight bulbs, some brake fluid, and some sideboards on it.

    Getting ready for the "big day" and the "big trip" they did all of the necessary work, and then made and installed some really tall sideboards on the old truck, filled it up with gas, put a couple of quarts of oil in it, and then aired the old bald tires up. They were all set, and could hardly wait for morning!

    Next morning, as soon as the sun even "hinted" that it was coming up, their feet hit the floor! Both were extremely excited, and totally consumed with all of these thoughts of all of the "easy money" they were about to make! So, without even slowing for a drink or bite of anything, they hit the road.

    Upon hitting FL they could not believe their good fortune! They had just crossed the state line, and they were ecstatic to find an old man that would sell them all of the watermelons they wanted for 3.00 each! JACKPOT!....they could hardly wait! They filled that old truck up until it wouldn't hold another watermelon! They were even careful to situate every watermelon so as to get every last one they could get on that old truck.

    They then drove back to Kentucky and set their "business" up beside a heavily traveled hwy. They made a big sign out of a sheet of plywood. They painted the whole sheet a bright white, and painted the letters bright red so no one could miss it! It read,

    WATERMELONS 2 FOR 5.00! NO LIMIT !!!!!

    After selling the entire load they counted their money and were very surprised (and disappointed) to find out that they had lost money even before figuring in their overhead (such as gas, oil, buying the used tires, etc).

    They then sat down, and after racking their brains for 4 or 5 hours, and once again drinking quite a few beers to help with the thought process, discovered their mistake.

    They found that, in their hast, they had made a mistake when devising their original business plan! All they needed to do to do in order to make this adventure wildly successful, was to buy a bigger truck so they could haul a lot more watermelons!

    That's right, they agreed...."volume is where the BIG money is"!!!!!

    Sorry this was long, but hopefully someone will get a chuckle out of it.
  8. herler

    herler LawnSite Fanatic
    Messages: 5,139

    I certainly enjoyed the last article a lot more than the first one.
  9. Penncare

    Penncare LawnSite Member
    Messages: 179

    The first one is true, sad, and yes less funny. They are a great couple of young guys, just not business oriented but I plan on helping them learn if I can. Sorry for the long first post.
  10. StanWilhite

    StanWilhite LawnSite Silver Member
    Messages: 2,397

    :) Well, thanks for the kind comments, but I really wasn't trying to compete. It's just that the first (true) story reminded me of the joke that I posted.

    And in all fairness, (as the OP mentioned), the 1st post was an actual event, while the 2nd was a joke, so it really isn't fair to compare the 2 solely on the basis of "which was the funniest". The OP could have "doctored" his story up if he was posting solely for the purpose of getting a laugh.

    But, having said that, thanks again for the kind comments! I was hoping someone would get a chuckle out of this little joke (that I heard probably over 40 years ago)!

    For me, a little humor here and there sure does make the day go better! :)
    Stan :drinkup:

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