Kinda Cute........Thought Ya'll Might enjoy


LawnSite Member
West Ky.
Imagine the conversation The Creator might have had with St. Francis on<br>the subject of lawns: <br>GOD: <br>Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is<br>going on down there in the U.S.? What happened to the dandelions,<br>violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect,<br>no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil,<br>withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long<br>lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of<br>songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I<br>see are these green rectangles. <br>ST. FRANCIS: <br>It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.<br>They started calling your flowers &quot;weeds&quot; and went to great lengths to<br>kill them and replace them with grass. <br>GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract<br>butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's<br>temperamental with temperatures. <br>Do these Suburbanites really want all<br>that grass growing there? <br>ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. The go to great pains to grow it and<br>keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning<br>any other plant that crops up in the lawn. <br>God: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really<br>fast.That must make the Suburbanites happy. <br>St. Francis: <br>Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they<br>cut it-sometimes twice a week. <br>God: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay? <br>St. Francis: <br>Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in<br>bags. <br>God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it? <br>St. Francis: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away. <br>God: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow.<br>And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away? <br>St. Francis: Yes, Sir. <br>God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back<br>on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves<br>them a lot of work. <br>St. Francis: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops<br>growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so<br>they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it. <br>God: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a<br>sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in<br>the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they<br>fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the<br>soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves<br>form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life. <br>St. Francis: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a<br>new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles<br>and pay to have them hauled away. <br>God: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the<br>winter and to keep the soil moist and loose? <br>St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy<br>something which they call mulch. The haul it home and spread it around<br>in place of the leaves. <br>God: And where do they get this mulch? <br>St. Francis: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch. <br>God: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine,<br>you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us<br>tonight? <br>St. Catherine: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie<br>about..... <br>God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.<p>


LawnSite Senior Member
& they call us the greatest country on earth. Seems like whoever started this trend oughta be shot for spending $$ on doing things backwards.<p>----------<br>Smitty ô¿ô<br>


LawnSite Senior Member
I like that a a big kick out of it. Matter of fact, a friend sent it to me a couple weeks ago.<p>Tim :)

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