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My Letter

Expert Lawns

LawnSite Silver Member
Here is the letter I will be sending out to a few potential accounts I would like to give estimates to. I have been eyeing a few of them since last year. Some for 2 years. I will send the letter, make a follow up call, and see how it goes from there. There are also a few of them that I will hand deliver so I can give them a face to go a long with it. (These are the accounts that I am most interested in getting) It would be too time consuming to hand deliver them all.
Let me know what you think.
 

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1MajorTom

Former Moderator
Location
Pennsylvania
What size font is that?


I would set it up more like a business letter. Date would be first (at the left), then the potential customer's name and address, then the salutation, body of letter, and your closing looks good. I also would sign the letter in the space between Sincerely and your name. (You may be planning on doing this, I was just mentioning it)
I would use the block form style of letter writing where everything is aligned to the left.
If it was me, I wouldn't use the picture.

I'm not exactly fond of the use of wasted space with all your contact info in there. Phone number, Cell phone number, e-mail address, etc. Either add this information to your letterhead where it is easy to find, or enclose a business card with all your contact info. Basically it seems like you added it in there to fill space in the letter.

And NO, I'm not this letter writing expert here. Not trying to come across as some know it all.
These are just my opinions. Use the ideas if you wish.



February 1, 2004



Mr. John Doe
123 Anywhere Street
AnyTown, State 55555

Dear John Doe,

Then your letter goes here


Sincerely,



Your Company name
Your Name
 
OP
Expert Lawns

Expert Lawns

LawnSite Silver Member
1majortom - good post.

just so you know, i have two different forms of this letter. one is in block form (like you posted). that form is for sending to companies that i am really targeting. it is more personal. the other form (which i posted here) is for a general letter being sent out to several churches in the area. i think just for examples sake i put in a pastors name in the subject line. i usually put my contact info at the bottom of the page sort of like a footer, but changed things around because i was running out of room.

in my business communications class we learned about different formats to use (letter, block etc) so i'm not worried about that. i'm basically concerned if the letter has good substance and enough information. I think it flows nicely throughout the letter and gets my main points across. like any letter, the main points are separated into their own paragraphs.

not sure if this post is making much sense, but i'm running late for a super bowl party and all i can think about is beer. and THAT my friend is a big motivator!!!
 
OP
Expert Lawns

Expert Lawns

LawnSite Silver Member
also, if you print out the letter is it legible. the font seems small when read in microsoft word.

i appreciate your thoughts 1majortom. i will post both forms of the letter tomorrow so you get a better idea.

it's beer o'clock
 

Olylawnboy

LawnSite Senior Member
Location
Oly Wa
Expert Lawns
My advice would be, give your targeted accounts a disc, don't make them ask for one. Give them all the pertinent info you can upfront. Really, you might consider using a CD-R as you can put a lot of pics on it Make them want to call You! For your services, not for more information. I'ts worked for me more than once :) Oly
 

Team Gopher

LawnSite Platinum Member
Location
-
Hi Expert Lawns,

Here are a few thoughts.

References are available, as well as a floppy disk with some samples of our work
This is something that you could put on your website and then just mention your web address in your letter. It might be easier for you and your customer that way.

Reply before March 31st, and receive 10% off your total package!
I like this a lot. It's a call to action and will get the customer to respond quickly for a discount.

All in all it looks good.
 
OP
Expert Lawns

Expert Lawns

LawnSite Silver Member
Thanks Gopher. I don't have a website or else I would use your approach. I hope to have one next year.

Olylawnboy - I had thought about including a disk with every bid instead of having them ask for one. I may still go that route. I have a week to decide before I send them out. I'll obviously have to rephrase the letter a bit if I do it. Thanks

Here is the other format I was thinking about using. Which one do you guys like best?
 

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Olylawnboy

LawnSite Senior Member
Location
Oly Wa
Expert, in your first draft you addressed it to a specific person. That's the way to go if you are sure that is the person in charge. Your second letter addresses the church in general, meaning it has to be passed down from whoever opens it in the first place. It takes more time to be passed on to who needs to see it and leaves it open to be misplaced.
Send it to who needs to know, and like I said, include the disk.(and like you said, you'ld have to re-word) If they have it in their hands when they read your letter they will be more apt to look at it. Maybe think of it this way. When you get an offer in the mail do you matter of coarse. send away for more information? Or would you rather have all the pertinent info at your fingertip's? To me it would say "I want your business" with professionalism.
Just .02 from me :)
 
OP
Expert Lawns

Expert Lawns

LawnSite Silver Member
great point oly

so i can save my powerpoint, pictures, and references all on a cd rom?
 
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