Need constructive criticism on renewal letter for customers

Discussion in 'Business Operations' started by walker-talker, Feb 19, 2003.

  1. walker-talker

    walker-talker LawnSite Platinum Member
    from Midwest
    Messages: 4,771

    Take a look and tell me what you think.

    Attached Files:

  2. MPhillips

    MPhillips LawnSite Member
    from zone 7
    Messages: 94

    It looks it again slow though...there are a couple typos (though instead of thought for ex.) that you'll catch when you read it again.
  3. precisionlawn

    precisionlawn LawnSite Senior Member
    Messages: 254

    Definetly read over that one more time. I counted 6 or 7 mistakes; mispelled words, and a couple words that shouldn't be in there. Other than that I like it. Just read over it carefully.
  4. danp

    danp LawnSite Member
    Messages: 30

    I believe you have the right idea here, but your wording and structure need some work. Read over carefully, there are several misspelled and misplaced words.
  5. walker-talker

    walker-talker LawnSite Platinum Member
    from Midwest
    Messages: 4,771

    Yes I know...thanks. I typed it out right before bedtime. After posting it I printed it out and read over it quickly and found a few misspelled words and grammar structure errors.

    Thanks again
  6. Randy Scott

    Randy Scott LawnSite Bronze Member
    Messages: 1,915

    You shouldn't go back and forth between "I" and "we". "We"
    sounds more professional.

    You need a lot of work on your application descriptions. People are fussy with knowing what will be done.

    It's a great start, but needs improvement.

    Putting a fungicide in a program really isn't cost effective and is easily treated in most cases if something occurs. Have you gotten prices on some of these products yet?

    I would just state that you are fully insured rather than listing numbers. It's a waste of the readers time, and those are basic coverages that are not impressive to a consumer.

    Overseeding description needs something more.

    Try to condense it and make it one page. A waste of paper as is and although you want to show effort and professionalism, it's not necessary to spread it out that much.

    The date should be in the upper right and the customer name on the left with their address. You don't need your info up there. You have it at the bottom and should run the company address or phone info at the bottom, or incorporate it into the logo.

    Just trying to help you, not criticizing. Trust me, my wife pounded all this stuff into my head when doing letters and such. :)
  7. ronslawncare

    ronslawncare LawnSite Senior Member
    Messages: 540

    its a word doucument just click auto spell checker
  8. HarryD

    HarryD LawnSite Bronze Member
    Messages: 1,068

    looks great once you get the typos fixed, hope you have a great year:D
  9. walker-talker

    walker-talker LawnSite Platinum Member
    from Midwest
    Messages: 4,771

    Thanks Randy, a guy at a local distributer of pesticides and fertilizer told me about the "hard to cure" fungus. I really did want to narrow it down to one page to keep the customer from getting bored. As far as the layout of the addresses and stuff, I kind of figured that was all wrong. I remember learning that stuff at one time, but that was many moons ago. I really need to invest into a book that shows how different business letters are written. I have to admit that I was trying to impress the customer with the insurance coverage amount. I was also afraid that if someone know how much coverage I have that they might think of a way to scam me.....if ya know what I mean. I honestly don't think any of my current customers would do that, but these days the opportunity to sue someone is compared to winning the lottery. I will try and work on it a bit more...need to get them out soon.

    Thanks again (everyone)
  10. brettmc

    brettmc Banned
    Messages: 63

    You really need to personalize every letter with the client's name in the greeting and maybe the full name and address above that. If you set up your customers in a Microsoft Access database and create your letter in MS Word, you can use a mail merge to put customer info from the database onto the letters. Really a great and easy way to personalize all the correspondence you send out.


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