I forgot to tell this story last season and I was telling it to a friend of mine today and he was just dying laughing. He enjoyed it so much I figured I'd share it here. For those of you who know of my previous hijinks on this board, this is not one of them. This story is 100% true. Last year we came across a new maintenance client. She was an Asian lady who spoke broken english and was very much into Zen, Feng Shui, The balance of nature, etc. So I was explaining our full service package to her. And when I came to the part where I said we'd take care of weeding the flowerbeds she asked how we'd do that. I said, "Well, if the weeds are very small, we spray them and if they are larger, like over 1" wide, then we pull them." She said, "What do you spray them with?" I responded, "We spray them with an herbicide." She said, "Does that kill them?" I said, "Well, yes. That's the point." I swear - I am not making this up. It gets worse.... She said, "well could you just pull them instead?" And before I could really answer that fully she said, "If you pull them, what happens to them?" I told her that we took them away in our truck and dumped them with the grass clippings at the end of the day. She got very troubled. And said, "Oh. That's not good. I don't want to kill them. They have the positive life-force in them. And I don't want to disturb that. Can't you just take them over to this field behid my house and just transplant them in the field so they can keep living?" What do you say to something as stupid as that? I am usually pretty much in control of a conversation when I am talking to a client. This is my expertise and I almost always know more than my client. I am usually very confident. But I must admit, I stumbled a little here. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? "You are incredibly stupid, I quit!" ??? I lost my composure for a minute. I had to tell her no, of course. I guess I should have said, "Sure. The price just went up to $1000 per visit." So I basically just told her that it wasn't feasible to do it that way and then I tried to explain how everything we take to the dump at the end of the day is recycled into garden mulch and that "positive lifeforce" is "transformed" into nutrients for new, more desireable plants. She seemed okay with that. But dang. How can someone be that ignorant? I could tell you another 20 whacky stories about this lady. But the "transplanting the weeds" request was the best.