problems with making time... family

Discussion in 'Lawn Mowing' started by ManleyLawn, Jan 23, 2004.

  1. ManleyLawn

    ManleyLawn LawnSite Member
    Messages: 107

    I am 20 and a father of a 7 month old... Last year was my best year out of the previous 3. I thought i was doing my part in taking care of my son "the provider" role... As the season drew to a close i had a coversation involving my sons grandparents and my sons mom... As they saw it my work was getting in the way of their daughter and my son... I think i am doing the best i can with the hand i was dealt but my question is how do you all cope with running your own business and still make time for your family? I make time for my son and his mother but they always want more... When you get older and your business is more stable do things start to ease up as far as family goes??? My relationship with my sons mother has really gone down hill and I believe that because of my dedication to my business and to my work that it may be to much for her... not to sure though do your wives and husbands have a problem with the long hours and working weekends??? i chose this career but never really expected or looked at the family time or lack there of.... thanks
  2. packerbacker

    packerbacker LawnSite Bronze Member
    Messages: 1,433

    Do you provide a roof over their heads? Do you put food on the table? Do you clothe them?

    IF you answer yes to any of those questions then you are doing what your supposed to be doing. As long as you are doing that then everything else fall into place.
  3. bobbygedd

    bobbygedd LawnSite Fanatic
    from NJ
    Messages: 10,178

    does your wife work? if not, tell her to grab a wacker 3 days a week. running a solo op is rough because you are everything including the mule. she needs to get more involved, and be more supportive. she can do things like billing, customer correspondence, contacing supplyers, etc.
  4. ManleyLawn

    ManleyLawn LawnSite Member
    Messages: 107

    i do and i do... they said that i need to be the one getting up in the middle of the night with my son and i need to be feeding him. I understand being a mother is hard but i feel like i'm doing the best i can. i do feed him and get up with him every once in awhile. But, when i wake up i'm out of the house before her and i'm home after they go to bed.. (many nights) For a one man operation i think this is part of the job. i dunno though...thanks

    UNISCAPER LawnSite Bronze Member
    Messages: 1,426


    Tough one there. I was until 2 years ago a single dad, who, worked almost non stop trying to get past the memories of a devastating loss in my life. I had a second chance to evaluluate what I was not doing right and what I would do over when I relocated.

    So, I have to ask you...How many hours a week are you working? And, what is taking the time that keeps you from your family? And, further, are yuo budgeting work so you can delegate to others and still pay yourself? Many smaller or one man operations as we were at one time bid and do not figure all salaries and overheads they need and deserve to pay themselves and employees, rather just pay themselves what they should make based off wages when they wroked for others.

    There are a number of things I could rattle on about here, but trust me here...The number one thing in your life, the thing that will always be there long after your business has been sold down the river, will be your family.

    If you want, write me privately and I can try and help as best I can.
  6. ManleyLawn

    ManleyLawn LawnSite Member
    Messages: 107

    bobbygedd, i agree with you 100%. she does come out and work if i am behind. she does work a part time job. i just hate having to hear a bunch of sh*t from her parents. they used that against me. thanks
  7. pcnservices

    pcnservices LawnSite Senior Member
    Messages: 614

    Amen to that Bobby!

    Manleylawn here' my advise to you: next time your father-in-law is nagging about your "job" you created for yourself to support his daughter and grandson then ask him HIS chequebook and write a cheque in YOUR name for 2000 dollars and get him to sign it. That will shut him up him for a while!

    Get your wife involved. She wont have time to sit with her mother and whine!

    And while you're at it mowing you can still do you fatherly duties. You have to! Nothing wrong with that.

    Good Luck
  8. AMAC

    AMAC LawnSite Member
    from MO
    Messages: 101

    I have been in the same situation and I know that dealing with the in-laws can be difficult. Keep up the hard work and let them know that it will pay off in the long run.
  9. nelbuts

    nelbuts LawnSite Bronze Member
    from SW, FL
    Messages: 1,053

    Manley Lawn.

    I applaud you for what you are doing. Raising a family at any age is hard work with the greatest of rewards. I am 47 and have a son who will be 16 this Sunday and an 11 year old daughter. I am not nor is any man a perfect father. We can only strive for perfection, that is the challenge.

    I usually work daylight to dark five days a week, daylight till 2 on Saturdays and half day doing something on Sundays. Make no mistake about it, it is not easy. If I did not have the best wife in the world (literally) I would not know what I was doing half the time.

    I have changed a total of 5 dirty diapers (poopoo) ones! That does not make a father. Neither does just providing a roof over your family's head. Those things contribute to the over all picture. But the single most important thing is TIME. You can be poor, spend time with your kids, love them, do school work with them and they will be happy and turn out great. Or you can make tons of money spend no time with them but visit them in jail when they are older. That choice is yours and you must make the balance. Choose wisely.
  10. bobbygedd

    bobbygedd LawnSite Fanatic
    from NJ
    Messages: 10,178

    you know what i'd tell him? say, "dad, listen, i get up early, work my butt off in the hot sun, i deal with bees, snakes, rabid racoons, and irate customers. after all that, there is billing, estimating, handling complaints, collections, repairs and maintenence, by the time all that is done, it's past midnight. then, your daughter keeps me up half the night insisting i have sex with her, over, and over, and over again. i'm just worn out!

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