things have got strange

2856 Views 26 Replies 16 Participants Last post by bruces, Jul 29, 2003

tiedeman

Discussion Starter · Jul 27, 2003

I don't know whether or not you guys/girls remember that I was going to sell my business about 3 weeks ago to a local nurseyman that has been my lawn & landscape dealer for the past 4 years. I tried it out for 4 days with them and it was like total chaos. A lot of promises were made to me that were not kept and the whole situation with the lawn care department would probably take over a year to fix. Also I was afraid of losing my past customers. So I backed out of it.

That day I talked to his wife, one of the owners of the business because I couldn't talk to him because he was out in the field working, and told her that I didn't think that the transition and buy out was going to work, so I would rather just back out. She said fine and seemed okay with everything.

I told her that I didn't want out relationship of me coming to them to be ruined or become strange, because I still want to come there for supplies and stuff. She assured me that it wouldn't and that her husband would probably be calling me later that night to talk about things. Well, later that night has now turned into almost 2 weeks. Have not heared a word from him at all. So now, I am looking for another dealer in the area which is impossible. I don't feel like going back to him when he has treated own business relationship this way.

What do you guys think? Should I do something or say something to him? I want to say something, but I don't feel that I should. I feel that he should have called me and talked to me about it.

1 - 20 of 27 Posts

GLAN

· #2 · Jul 27, 2003

Who realy knows what goes on in peoples minds??

Maybe he feels that since the deal went south. Nothing to talk about.

I doubt it means that he won't do business with you for the landscape supplies.

It's probably just that you might feel awkward cause it was "you" that called it off.

NNJLandman

· #3 · Jul 27, 2003

Send some of your other guys on your crew over see what happens. Have them report back to you and then go from there.

Rustic Goat

· #4 · Jul 27, 2003

Well, you are the one that backed out.
While there are probably many particulars to this whole event, for whatever reason, you felt comfortable in 'breaking' this news with his wife, don't really think that was the correct approach. Did you and she first set up this agreement?
She may have had an 'I told you so' waiting for her husband when he got back, who knows.
Need to just go back in and talk it over with him. His feelings/reaction could be anything, why not clear the air, you'll both know where you stand.
Don't send your crew, that will only make it seem more like you wish to avoid the man, wouldn't it?

Strawbridge Lawn

· #5 · Jul 27, 2003

If your business dealings were with him than they should be with him only IMHO. Not his wife. I have made many errors in life by avoiding confrontation and taking the easy way out of a situation.
No e-mails, letters or anything else. Just direct 1 on 1 communication.

Phishook

· #6 · Jul 27, 2003

Originally posted by Rustic Goat

She may have had an 'I told you so' waiting for her husband when he got back, who knows.
Need to just go back in and talk it over with him. His feelings/reaction could be anything, why not clear the air, you'll both know where you stand.
Don't send your crew, that will only make it seem more like you wish to avoid the man, wouldn't it?

GarPA

· #7 · Jul 27, 2003

Yep I sometimes used to take the easy way out and avoid confrontation until I learned a lesson from a very good customer who basically told me NEVER talk business with any of his staff...( Iwas having a problem with late payment and dealt with the office mgr). I agree with Rustic Goat and Strawbridge that you should talk to him directly, face to face...no email, phone call, voice mail, etc. He may not like what you have to say, but if he's a stand up kind of guy, he'll at least respect you for taking the issue to him one on one....and you'll feel better about it too

geogunn

· #8 · Jul 27, 2003

tiedeman--you are being tempermental. you backed out, told the wife...good enough. his wife says "he'll call you". well she isn't him. put this behind you and retain your relationship with this guy. good luck.

GEO

tiedeman

Discussion Starter · #9 · Jul 27, 2003

Originally posted by Rustic Goat
Well, you are the one that backed out.
While there are probably many particulars to this whole event, for whatever reason, you felt comfortable in 'breaking' this news with his wife, don't really think that was the correct approach. Did you and she first set up this agreement?
She may have had an 'I told you so' waiting for her husband when he got back, who knows.
Need to just go back in and talk it over with him. His feelings/reaction could be anything, why not clear the air, you'll both know where you stand.
Don't send your crew, that will only make it seem more like you wish to avoid the man, wouldn't it?

his wife is co-owner of the company. So yeah, that was the correct approach because he wasn't there, he was out in the field. I had to make a move quick and fast in order to retain my past crew and take back over where I left off. So I talked to her about it. But what I am saying is the relationship with him. He has always been the one that I have dealt with, not her, even though she owns half of the company. And yes both of them set up the agreement with the aquisition in the first place, not just him.

seascape

· #10 · Jul 27, 2003

hes probally bummin cause you havent been in the buy supplies. He probally feels just as awkward about it as you now. Just go in and be straight w/ him. tell him you still need him as a vendor. tell him you feel awkward now and that you want to clear this up w/ him. try to get there early in the morning while hes not all tied up.
mike

Rustic Goat

· #11 · Jul 28, 2003

Originally posted by tiedeman
his wife is co-owner of the company. So yeah, that was the correct approach because he wasn't there, he was out in the field. I had to make a move quick and fast in order to retain my past crew and take back over where I left off. So I talked to her about it. But what I am saying is the relationship with him. He has always been the one that I have dealt with, not her, even though she owns half of the company.

tiedeman, you are really missing the point several here have been trying to make to you, or you're being obtuse. Your choice.
1. The now x partner was in the field working, you were not, you were back at the shop chatting with his wife.

2. Read your post. No this was not the correct approach. You've "ALWAYS" dealt with him.

3. You say you had to make a quick move, you mean you procrastinated and waited till the last minute ? Why could you have not waited till the next morning and spoken with him?

4. If you can't read your own post, in your own words, and realize the problem, you're beyond help here.

5. Resolve this matter by getting some backbone and quit craw-fishing the issue trying to make what you did justifiable. Talk to HIM, you know, the one you've ALWAYS dealt with.

6. You still have no idea of what or how she broke the news to her husband, it would really be a smart thing to do, to talk to HIM.

GLAN

· #12 · Jul 28, 2003

Well that is direct

But Rustic is totaly correct.

tiedeman

Discussion Starter · #13 · Jul 28, 2003

Originally posted by Rustic Goat
tiedeman, you are really missing the point several here have been trying to make to you, or you're being obtuse. Your choice.
1. The now x partner was in the field working, you were not, you were back at the shop chatting with his wife.

2. Read your post. No this was not the correct approach. You've "ALWAYS" dealt with him.

3. You say you had to make a quick move, you mean you procrastinated and waited till the last minute ? Why could you have not waited till the next morning and spoken with him?

4. If you can't read your own post, in your own words, and realize the problem, you're beyond help here.

5. Resolve this matter by getting some backbone and quit craw-fishing the issue trying to make what you did justifiable. Talk to HIM, you know, the one you've ALWAYS dealt with.

6. You still have no idea of what or how she broke the news to her husband, it would really be a smart thing to do, to talk to HIM.

I couldn't wait until the last until the next morning because customers were going to up and leave and as stated above in order to retain my x-employees I had to move fast because they were going to take off for other work.

And she is a partner, and co-owner so yes I should have went through her.

And by the way, thank you very much for the whole backbone comment. Man, you really hit that nail on the head. I really appreciate your feelings of expressions. I know that from now on whenever you ask for advice I will be sure enough to add," why do you need advice, why don't you just get a backbone and do it yourself."

Once again thank you.

Bryant

· #14 · Jul 28, 2003

Teideman, been in you situation but with a brother and brother in-law. From my experience, be the bigger person and make the first move. From my own experience you'll be given allot more respect, for most people it's easier to run away from a touchy situation than to deal with it . Show them your the bigger person here. They'll probably, be relieved that you made the first move. Because they don't know how to handle this kind of situation.

Rustic Goat

· #15 · Jul 28, 2003

Originally posted by tiedeman
I couldn't wait until the last until the next morning because customers were going to up and leave and as stated above in order to retain my x-employees I had to move fast because they were going to take off for other work.

And she is a partner, and co-owner so yes I should have went through her.

And by the way, thank you very much for the whole backbone comment. Man, you really hit that nail on the head. I really appreciate your feelings of expressions. I know that from now on whenever you ask for advice I will be sure enough to add," why do you need advice, why don't you just get a backbone and do it yourself."

Once again thank you.

What part of reality don't you get!

YOU procrastinated till the last, why couldn't you of acted on this the day before?

The backbone remark was made because of what your posts on this thread sound like. Read your own posts in the third party and you'll see what I mean. Your only attempt at a substantive remark is to attack my remark about your lack of action! YOU are the one that has waited for weeks hoping your now ex partner would approach you. Instead, you start a thread here, tell what you want of your side of the story, and don't like it when opinions are given.
Should I have said gumption, nerve, personal strength, inner fortitude, etc.
I really did not mean my remark as any kind of personal attack on you, sorry you took it that way.

jasond

· #16 · Jul 28, 2003

take them both out for dinner, get them sloppy drunk, maybe things will be ok after the hangover.

tiedeman

Discussion Starter · #17 · Jul 28, 2003

Originally posted by Rustic Goat
What part of reality don't you get!

YOU procrastinated till the last, why couldn't you of acted on this the day before?

The backbone remark was made because of what your posts on this thread sound like. Read your own posts in the third party and you'll see what I mean. Your only attempt at a substantive remark is to attack my remark about your lack of action! YOU are the one that has waited for weeks hoping your now ex partner would approach you. Instead, you start a thread here, tell what you want of your side of the story, and don't like it when opinions are given.
Should I have said gumption, nerve, personal strength, inner fortitude, etc.
I really did not mean my remark as any kind of personal attack on you, sorry you took it that way.

and your profile lists you as a Christian...yeah right

drobson

· #18 · Jul 28, 2003

Like a couple of others have stated, you don't know what the wife said to him. Maybe she did not pass on the information to her husband the way you passed it on to her. Or maybe she didn't say much at all. Maybe she said you stopped by and would be contacting him? I know, a lot of maybe's. But you just don't know. I think you should go by there and talk with him and explain why you backed out. Maybe he doesn't care, or at least understands.

It would have been better if you stopped by and talked to him the next day, even though you talked to his wife/partner the day before. He probably would have liked to have talked to you about it. But either way, you should go there and talk. I'm sure he still wants your business. Unless there is more to the story that we don't know about..

Rustic Goat

· #19 · Jul 28, 2003

Originally posted by tiedeman
and your profile lists you as a Christian...yeah right

Yes, tiedeman, I am a Christian. Nothing I've written in your direction says any differently. My being one doesn't mean I wont tell you the truth, even if you don't like it.

maple city

· #20 · Jul 28, 2003

As the wife and co-owner of our company, you had better believe that I am totally up to speed on whatever deals my husband is making with people. I would have to assume that the wife in this situation knew the business dealings. And if she was the only one you were able to talk to, you did what you had to do.

But...
You should have never let things go 2 weeks. If you didn't hear from the guy in a couple of days, you should have called him to talk.

I would suggest that you contact him and try to take him out to lunch or dinner and just sit down and talk it out. I'm sure he doesn't want to lose your business. If you just explain that you were uncomfortable with the deal and don't want to spoil your busness relationship, things could turn out fine. If he's angry, I'm sure he'll let you know, then you probably will have to find another nursery. At least you tried. This guy could think you are mad at him and be afraid to deal with you.

1 - 20 of 27 Posts

This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.