This is hilarious, but still beneficial.

Discussion in 'Lawn Mowing' started by Team-Green L&L, Jan 12, 2007.

  1. Team-Green L&L

    Team-Green L&L LawnSite Bronze Member
    Messages: 1,775

    > The buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING.
    > However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing."
    > Well, here it is:
    > 1. You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him
    > and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
    > That's Direct Marketing.
    > 2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.
    > One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's
    > fantastic in bed."
    > That's Advertising.
    > 3. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
    > telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in
    > bed."
    > That's Telemarketing.
    > 4. You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up
    > to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to
    > straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and
    > then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
    > That's Public Relations.
    > 5. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and
    > says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
    > That's Brand Recognition.
    > 6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you
    > talk him into going home with your friend.
    > That's a Sales Rep.
    > 7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
    > That's Tech Support.

    > 8. You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
    > handsome men in all these houses you're passing., so you climb onto
    > the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of
    > your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
    > That's Junk Mail.
    > 9. You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and grabs
    > your ass.
    > That's the Governor of California .
    > 10. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney decides you were
    > offended.
    > That's America .
  2. grandview (2006)

    grandview (2006) LawnSite Gold Member
    Messages: 3,465

    Isn't #9 more like outsourcing to a foreigner?:usflag:
  3. Skimastr105

    Skimastr105 LawnSite Senior Member
    Messages: 293

    very funny
  4. newbomb

    newbomb LawnSite Senior Member
    Messages: 391

    This really works well for women. Guys not so much. I would love to hire a couple young honeys to work for me. (legal ages of course) I would have a thousand accounts by Sept. I could be the Larry Flint of Lawn Mowing. I would probably have to switch to Hustler mowers though, Dang!!!
  5. walker/redmax

    walker/redmax LawnSite Senior Member
    Messages: 366

    I'm thinkin' Tara Reid.
  6. mattfromNY

    mattfromNY LawnSite Bronze Member
    Male, from Central NY
    Messages: 1,582

    And remember, its illegal to put your doorhanger in her box. LOL.
  7. Triple R

    Triple R LawnSite Member
    Messages: 244

    So where's the party? I want to meet this lady.
  8. Mean Green Lawns

    Mean Green Lawns Banned
    Messages: 58

    OMG the dip head from team green Losers & lowlifes had something worth while to read for once...
  9. Team-Green L&L

    Team-Green L&L LawnSite Bronze Member
    Messages: 1,775

    You are about the most controversial person on this site. I wish you would quit antagonizing people and be useful. Your posts are offensive to all 5 senses. Please keep your "nice" comments to yourself and be part of a forum.
  10. Big Bad Bob

    Big Bad Bob LawnSite Bronze Member
    from zone 5
    Messages: 1,074

    you're pretty much a jerk aren't you? that must be why you need to be low priced. most of your customers can't stomach talking to you, huh?

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